


The Third Septenniel Grand Elkandu Magic Competition

by Serriya (Keolah)



Category: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game), Multi-User Dungeon
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alcohol, Crack, Drama, Elves, F/M, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Hermaphrodites, Humanoid Animals, Humor, Ice Cream, Magic, NaNoWriMo, Olympics, Original Universe, POV First Person, POV Inanimate Object, Shapeshifting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-11-01
Updated: 2003-11-18
Packaged: 2017-11-13 23:31:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 49,994
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/508951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keolah/pseuds/Serriya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Wizards gather for a grand magic competition to prove which of them is the best at what, or at least screw around at the stadium. Told from the point of view of a magic sword, for some reason.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Third Septennial Grand Elkandu Magic Competition

**Author's Note:**

> Parts of this story were derived from roleplay logs. It was co-written by Arilyn, who played Soliaron, Riartan, Manifel, and Lena.

Theryn picked up my scabbard and strapped me onto her back. Today was the first day of the Third Septennial Official Grand Elkandu Magic Competition. An event so grand that it actually earned its length name, as it was run by Shazmar himself. 

She didn't speak a word to me as she went out of her room in the University of Magic. Nobody spoke to me, for the most part. I hated being just a sword to people, a mindless artifact to be used and ignored, but such was life. Theryn went out down the hallway to meet up with Soliaron. The big nali was outside asleep in the grass, sunlight warming his white and black striped fur. 

"Wake up, Soli," said Theryn, nudging the cat awake. 

The sleepy nali stirred awake, blinking up at her. "Huh? Wha?" 

"The competition starts today. We don't want to be late for the opening ceremony." 

"The competition?" murmured Soli. "Oh yeah! I'd almost forgotten about that." He stood up, stretching out his long, feline body. "Let's get going, then." 

With a little magic, the two of them Recalled to the Nexus of Torn Elkandu, dragging me along with them. The competition would be interesting, no doubt. I wasn't participating, but it would be a good chance to see people again and take a look at what was going on these days. I wondered what Hawthorne was up to lately. 

From the Nexus, the elf and nali entered the portal to the Stadium. It was crowded today, with a long string of spectators and participants clamoring to get in, but there was plenty of room for them. Shazmar had no doubt included some magic in the stadium to allow it to grow and expand to allow for any number of spectators that wanted to come into it. 

I skimmed around the vicinity with my Seeking magic, attempting to ascertain if there was anyone I remembered nearby. There were so many unfamiliar faces, no doubt rebirths of ancient Elkandu from some forgotten age in history, but I knew some people had not yet been reborn. In the crowd, I spotted Sedder, Azale, and their respective mates. I could give or take Sedder, though Azale's good will toward him was a positive mark in his favor, but it was really Azale that I was glad about seeing. He had been one of the few to treat me with any sort of respect, while I was with him. But he gave me up and was reborn without the dragon's blood, and so I could not be borne by him any longer. 

As Theryn and Soli moved in toward the Stadium, I continued to scry, searching for Hawthorne. Finally I found her, standing around by one of the ice cream stalls, with her husband and son. How the boy had grown! When I last saw him, he was a young lad of a mere eight years, and now he was a strapping fifteen and looking ready to participate in the competition himself. 

"It's going to be tough competition in the Heat event," Hawthorne was saying to her mate, Riartan. 

Riartan nodded. "That it will. But it was tighter in the first competition, and I still managed to win somehow." 

"And lost the second one," Hawthorne teased gently. 

"That was only because I couldn't get into Heat," Riartan said defensively. "Destruction and Omnimancy were much more difficult events to beat." 

"Yeah," Hawthorne said. "Looks like the main events are capped at eight people this year. But that should be manageable, with the addition of the new Free-For-All events." 

Their son, Heller, grinned at that and said, "I'm going to kick all their butts in Catalysm!" 

Hawthorne chuckled softly. I had to wonder at that, as the boy's aura scanned as being a mere Frost mage, and not a real Catalyst. Maybe Shazmar had applied the term to something else. He seemed to do that frequently. It had been a surprise to me that such a comparatively weak mage had been borne of two so powerful Elkandu, but the universe works in strange ways at times. Perhaps it was because Shazmar had been reborn as his twin brother and somehow drained the magical energies. I had no other explanation. I did, however, admire his ambition. It was good for a young Dragonblood to desire to achieve great things. I only hoped that the ensuing disappointment when he inevitably lost did not discourage him too much. 

People were milling about the viewing screens and the arena seating, waiting for the opening ceremony to begin. A large clock positioned above the stadium marked the time as being 9:59 in the morning. As it struck ten, a figure shimmered into existence on the podium. The small song elven boy, appearing to be only five years old, was immediately recognized by all as the mighty Shazmar. It never ceased to amuse me that such a powerful entity preferred such a form of youth and innocence. 

"Greetings," spoke Shazmar, "and welcome to the Third Septennial Official Grand Elkandu Magic Competition." 

The crowd cheered and applauded for a moment before he silenced them with a gesture. 

"Before we begin the events, I will reiterate the rules of the competition, for those of you to whom it is your first time here. Keep in mind that while this is a competition of magic, the bringing of mundane implements into the events is allowed and encouraged, particularly in events like Light and Protection in which it is nearly impossible to actually kill your opponent with that power. Yes, and don't panic when I say the word 'kill'. There is a soultrap over the entire Stadium that prevents anyone from actually dying here, so you can relax. No permanent harm will come to you for your participation here." 

Some younger mages breathed a sigh of relief. Had they actually thought they were in danger for their lives here? The idea was amusing. 

"Food vendors are located around the Stadium," Shazmar continued. "Remember that all food and drink is free of charge here. There are also private viewing rooms available for VIP's, if you so choose to utilize them. Also, for those of you that still have wishes pending from the last competition, they may not be used during this competition, until the awards ceremony. No wishing for power in the middle of the competition to ensure your victory, sorry." 

A couple people looked a little disappointed. Silly people. Cheaters never prosper. 

"Do remember that the wishes awarded for the majority of the events are minor wishes," Shazmar added. "The only major wish being awarded is to the winner of the Omnimancy Free-For-All. You may continue to sign up to events that are not yet full up until the end of the first week, after which they will be closed. Signups for free-for-alls will be open up until the actual event, so go ahead and sign up for them. The more the merrier, as they say. Also remember that this year will be the year in which the Pairs and Team events make their debut. The schedules for events are posted around the stadium, and you may learn when you are fighting who from the data crystals. Thanks for listening, and let the games begin!" 

The crowd let out an uproarous cheer as Shazmar and the podium shimmered out of existence, the deity taking his place in the announcement booth above the arena. Over the shouts of the crowd, Shazmar's voice echoed again, announcing the competitors for the opening match. 

"The first match of this competition is in Heat," Shazmar's voice emitted from the speakers. "Armina versus Kirlin." 

I had to chuckle a bit to myself as the two of them appeared in the arena. Min was so much more powerful than Kirlin that it wasn't even funny. After a few seconds of letting them reorient themselves, the lights in the arena shifted and I sensed the magic dampening field in the arena drop, allowing them to use magic. The fight ended quickly, the demon Min defeating Kirlin easily. The Third Septennial Official Grand Elkandu Magic Competition was off to a flying start. 

My attention turned from the arena as the events got underway, skimming the crowd again for anyone that I might recognize. I caught sight of Ishane hanging around with some of the rest of the Tempest crowd, with one of his mates, Angelita. No, wait, that one preferred to be called Catalina these days. The one who went by Angelita was the one from the other timeline. That's right. I hate Time magic. Why can't people just stay in their own timelines and not confuse the rest of us? Anyway. Ishane and Catalina were there, with their daughter, Rinnalie. My, how she had grown as well. She had been born only a few months after Heller, and was now a pretty young tepper girl, like her mother. Those blank white tepper eyes never ceased to unnerve me, though. Even knowing that I wasn't likely to be affected by their power anyway, since they need to touch you to use it. Not that anyone would care to use Mind magic on a sword anyway. And not that I wasn't powerful enough to stop them if they tried anything anyway. 

Yes, Rinnalie was quite pretty, aside from her white eyes, the teenage tepper girl had her mother's rich auburn hair, flowing down like burnished honey down her shoulders. Those white eyes almost reminded me of Keolah's eyes, but Keolah didn't have the unnatural lack of an iris. It made me wonder, how do teppers actually see? Ah, nevermind. I don't even care. 

Speaking of Keolah, I began to search the stadium for her. She had to be around here somewhere. Maybe she was hiding in one of the private viewing rooms. Why did Shazmar have to ward them against Seeking? I wanted to see what Keolah was up to these days. Oh, there she was. She's out wandering the halls with her mate, Adrienna. A pretty enough angel, though she was a hermaphrodite. I suppose I should refer to her as "sie", then, and not "she", since that's the proper hermaphrodite pronoun. Sie was lucky one to have hooked up with Keolah, the most beautiful and ravishing creature ever to have graced this universe. Mmm. 

"Oh, do be quiet, Zarnith, and stop ogling that girl." That was Tahnmilot, one of the souls that shared the sword with me. Nobody else ever talked to me. Except Hawthorne. Hawthorne had been good to me. 

"Let me have my fun," I snapped back at him silently. The voice quieted again as Tahnmilot withdrew. Sometimes I thought sharing the sword with other souls was worse than being alone in here. Why did they have to be so irritating? 

"I heard that," the small voice retorted. 

"Shut up." 

I turned may attention back to Keolah and her spouse. What did you call a hermaphrodite mate, anyway? Husband? Wife? Something else entirely? Oh, hell with it. A quick scan revealed that Keolah was a hermaphrodite as well. Uh, not that I was looking in that area of her body. Really. 

"Sure, we really believe you, Zarnith," Tahnmilot said sarcastically. 

I ignored the voice. Now, that was a new development. It certainly made things interesting. But she--sie?--was as beautiful and ravishing as she'd ever been, even if she did have some extra equipment at the moment. No matter. Not like I had any such equipment to properly enjoy her anyway. It was so much nicer when I was with Hawthorne and they were together. Even though Keolah was Dragonblood as well, it just wasn't the same to be borne by her. 

I turned my attention by to Hawthorne, where she was standing watching the matches with her husband and son. The boy was licking absently at a mint green ice cream cone, not really particularly hurrying about it. Ice mages don't need to worry about their ice cream melting. Oh, wait, the only magic you can use in the main stadium is Seeking. That's right. I didn't use much else most of the time anyway, so I didn't pay much attention to the dampening field oppressing the use of magic around the place. 

"I do hope I win this time, though," Hawthorne said. "Dante may not be participating in the Evocation event this time, but Edminster is still in it, as is that little wench, Ardyth." 

"I'm sure you'll do fine," Riartan said reassuringly. 

"I can't believe how Ardyth keeps beating me!" Hawthorne said vehemently. "Little nobody from nowhere, comes out of the woodwork and kicks my butt! Twice! It's humiliating. I was supposed to be the best evoker in the universe. And let's not even talk about that rabbit." 

Ah, the rabbit. I wondered where he was hanging out. I scanned the crowd for Edminster, and found him momentarily standing around with Sidan. The gnome girl was kind of pretty in her own way, but she was no Keolah. But Edminster was a four foot tall brown rabbit wearing a nice suit, and from a scan of his aura, he was one of the strongest omnimancers in the universe now. It was no shame to have been beaten by him, I thought. 

The two of them were talking avidly to a group of random mages hanging around an ice cream stand, although their audience didn't appear to be listening particularly well. 

"No, seriously," Sidan was saying. "Anyone can use magic. Even the mensch." 

"That's nonsense," muttered a young fire mage with an ice cream cone. 

"I've seen it with my own eyes," Edminster insisted. "A complete mensch Recalled before me!" 

"He must have been a latent mage," an elvish illusionist retorted. 

"Yeah," a Seeker agreed. "Sometimes talents don't show up in somebody's aura until after they've manifested. You, of all people, should know that, great omnimancer." His words were praising, but his tone was sarcastic. 

"His aura was completely blank, I tell you," the rabbit continued. "Dead gray, with no trace of colors. Not even the smallest fleck. And I showed him how to Recall, and it worked!" 

"Yeah, whatever," the illusionist rolled his eyes. "Like I said, he was probably just a latent mage. Mensch can't use magic. Everyone knows that. That's what a mensch is, after all." 

Sidan sighed. "Come on, Ed. We aren't making any progress here." 

As the two of them walked off, I pondered about what they were talking about. Mensch using magic? Now that was an interesting prospect. And not so completely unheard of as some might have thought. Latent mages, we'd always called them, but what if they really weren't? Why did a mensch's soul have to be any different from an Elkandu's? It was all the same sort of soul-matter after all. Maybe there really wasn't any difference after all. Elkandu had talents, but it was a known fact that they could learn talents that they hadn't been born with. What if mensch were no different? 

Back at the arena, the matches were playing out furiously, great balls of magic flickering and shooting from one end of the arena to the other. It was almost blinding to the eyes of a Seeker, and there was nobody I knew fighting anyway, so I ignored it for the moment. Where was I? Oh, yes, I was watching Hawthorne. I turned my attention back to her, but she wasn't really doing much at the moment. Just sipping a strawberry slushie and watching the arena. 

"I wish I still had the Zarnith," Hawthorne murmured suddenly. Aw, it was nice to know she still cared. 

"You've been doing pretty well for yourself without it," Riartan pointed out. 

"Yeah, thanks to you," she said. "I don't know what I'd do without you." 

"Ah, but I owe where I am to you as well, so it evens out." Riartan smiled warmly at her. 

"I guess." She didn't sound too sure of herself, though. What a change from the reckless, arrogant Hawthorne I used to know! She seemed almost humble now. 

I wondered what Keolah was up to, and remembered that I'd seen her out walking with Adri. Turning my attention back to them, I eavesdropped a bit on what they were talking about. 

"But hermaphrodites are the best!" Keolah was saying. "You don't want to be only half a person, do you?" 

I would have blinked, if I'd had eyes. Now where did she pick up that philosophy from? In the back of my mind, a couple of the other souls were chuckling. I silenced them and paid attention to Keolah. 

The mages she was talking to seemed to think she was insane, but didn't dare question someone of Keolah's power and authority. "I don't see what's so great about them," one of them said uneasily. 

Keolah and Adri went off on a lengthy tirade about the virtues of hermaphrodites, and I listened with only half an ear, yawning mentally. Silly girl. The mages didn't seem overly convinced, eventually making up some excuse to leave the immediate vicinity and meander off elsewhere. 

"Hmm, this isn't working very well," Keolah commented. 

"You know who we should talk to?" Adri said. Keolah raised an eyebrow. "Harmony!" 

"Oh yeah, she'll listen," Keolah said. "But wouldn't that be like, preaching to the choir?" 

"But she's a Changer. She could go around and turn people into chimerae!" 

Keolah's eyes widened. "She would, too! Let's go find her, then." 

I wondered to myself just what these chimerae were that they were talking about. I knew a chimera was some sort of ancient mythological beast, but wasn't aware that the term had yet been applied to any modern race or creature. This would bear some investigating, I thought. Not like I had anything better to do anyway. 

As the two of them wandered off to find Harmony, I caught sight of Sedder and Min for a moment, tittering to themselves before creeping off like a couple of kids up to some mischief. Now what were they up to, I wondered? My mystic eyes followed them for a moment, but my attention was distracted by the sound of a loud bell, signalling the end of events for the day. Had the hours really passed by so quickly? Things certainly were more interesting here than back at the university. Theryn went off back to the university to sleep, dragging me along with her. I didn't protest. She wouldn't listen anyway. I'd really wanted to stay and see what people were up to, though. Oh well. There was always tomorrow.


	2. Three Million Flavors of Ice Cream

I was always grateful to get out of the university and see what people were doing back at the Stadium. It was inevitably more interesting, as that was where everything was happening at the moment. Everyone who was anyone was at the Third Septannual Official Grand Elkandu Magic Competition. 

My eyes wandered the stadium, looking in on people. Ah, there was the tepper Catalina again. She was hanging around by an ice cream stand with Sharina and Kalixia. The two elves were likewise licking their own ice cream cones. 

"What flavor have you got today?" Catalina asked Kalixia. 

"I've got a scoop of Pizza Delight and one of Hazel Basil," Kalixia replied. 

Catalina rolled her eyes. "Pizza ice cream? That's just weird." 

"Better than some of the ones she was eating earlier," Sharina commented. "At least I think I convinced her that eating cyanide ice cream wouldn't be good for her." 

"Point taken," Catalina said. 

Kalixia said, "But there's three million flavors of ice cream here! I've gotta try them all." 

"Well, try them, then," Sharina said. "At least the ones that won't kill you. I'd hate to have to practice my resurrection spells on you." 

"But people can't die in the Stadium," Kalixia protested. 

"Still," Sharina said. "I really can't see how you eat some of those flavors. Ugh!" 

"They're interesting," Kalixia said. 

"If you say so," Sharina said skeptically. 

Wondering who would actually want to eat some of those bizarre flavors, my attention wandered off elsewhere in the Stadium. What was Hawthorne up to today, I wondered? There she was, off watching things with Riartan and Heller again. She was bitching about Ardyth again, and muttering about her first fight being this afternoon. Ah, I would have to remember to watch that. She was apparently going up against some nobody named Estel, and was fairly certain that she would win. For her sake, I hoped so. 

Remembering spotting Sedder and Min up to something the day before, I peered around for them, eventually locating the two of them in a dark corner of the Stadium. 

"This would be so much easier if we could use magic in here," Sedder muttered, fiddling with something that looked like a tiny mechanical spider. 

"Ah, well," Min said. "These spiders will still be quite the hit anyway." 

"Let's just hope nobody just crushes the things," Sedder said. "They took a while to conjure. It's difficult to do such delicate conjuration." 

He poked the spider again, and its tiny metallic legs started working, almost crawling up his arm before he snatched it up again. Min giggled at that. "Glad to see they actually work, at least," she said. 

"Now, where to put these for the greatest effect," Sedder mused aloud. "Maybe in one of the ice cream dispensers. Or just release them and observe the ensuing hilarity. Or maybe the beer stand?" 

"Let's go with the ice cream," Min suggested. "Everyone seems to be hanging around them." 

Sedder nodded, grinning. "Good idea. Now, how to get them in place without magic, and without anyone noticing." 

"Could wait till after hours when there's less people around." 

Sedder pondered. "Maybe I could program them to crawl into position from the rafters in the ceiling." 

"That could work, too," Min said. "But could you do them all very quickly? There must be a thousand of them in there." 

"Maybe," Sedder said. "I do have a central control device here." He patted a small box on his belt. "I should be able to enter the instructions from that, and it'll relay them to the individual spider units." 

Sedder pulled out the little gray box and cracked it open, starting to punch in instructions into it. I had to chuckle to myself as I realized what they were up to. Silly practical jokes. Harmless really. But amusing, still. This would bear watching. I didn't bother to alert anyone to what I'd seen. That would spoil the fun, and it wasn't like anyone would listen to a sword anyway. 

As Sedder worked on that, my eyes wandered off, and I looked to see what others were up to. Sidan and Ed were still, unsuccessfully, trying to convince people of their mensch magic thing. I caught up with Keolah and Adri then. They were speaking with a large elephant-moose-goat-emu. Ah, that must be Harmony. Nobody else walks around with such a ridiculous form. 

"And these chimerae," Harmony was saying. "They can have up to fourty-two parents? How is that possible?" 

Keolah began a lengthy discussion on genetics and biology. If I had had eyes, I would have rolled them. Thankfully, Harmony cut her off before she went on too much about chromosomes. 

"Keolah, I have no idea what you just said, but I'm sure it's very interesting," Harmony said. 

"Oh. Right. Okay," Keolah said, a little dejectedly. "Anyway. Let's just call it magic, shall we?" 

"Works for me." 

"Now, you can change people on the genetic level, right?" Keolah asked. 

"I have no idea what a genetic level is," Harmony said. "I just think and magic happens. I have no idea just how I do it." 

Keolah sighed. "If I send you a mental packet of their genetic pattern, can you change people to it?" 

"I don't know." 

"Harmony, you're the best damned Changer in the universe. If anyone can do it, you can." 

Harmony gave something that might be construed as a shrug. "I could probably swing it, I guess." 

"Right, okay," Keolah said. "Can we head into my private viewing room so I can transmit the relevant data to you? And could you please turn into something that would fit through the door?" 

Harmony rolled all eight of her eyes, and her form melted to silvery goo and shrank, reforming as a parakeet-squirrel-cockroach. "Better?" she said. 

Keolah looked at her oddly and said, "Good enough." She picked up the Changer and headed for her viewing room. 

I stared and wondered at that for a moment. I had thought all magic but Seeking was unusable in the Stadium. But here I had just seen Harmony shape-change before my eyes. How was that possible? 

I didn't have time to ponder, as then the loudspeakers announced Hawthorne and Estel were about to fight. Turning my attention to the arena quickly, I put it out of my mind for the moment. 

Hawthorne appeared in the arena, and across from her, a large plant appeared. What, this was her opponent? It looked like a large anthropormophic... poison ivy? What the hell? It stood upright, with vines for legs and arms, leaves sprouting all over. Around what would be its neck hung a competition amulet, the focus used for the Evocation event. No magic was usable except through that amulet, putting even the most powerful mages on par with weaker ones, making Evocation purely a competition of skill. 

Hawthorne just blinked a bit at her opponent as the lights shifted and they were given the signal to begin. Wards flew up and magic crackled in the arena. The plantfolk was apparently none too good at this, as Hawthorne quickly emerged victorious without much of a fight. Not the most entertaining match, but I was glad Hawthorne had won. 

I checked back on how Sedder was doing with his spider-bots. He had reattached the box to his belt and was watching a long stream of tiny black spiders crawl up a pole into the ceiling. Apparently he was successful. I watched the progress of the little robots along the roof, unnoticed by anyone else. Creeping and crawling they went, positioning themselves above the ice cream dispensers. This would be a riot. 

As all the spiders got in place, I watched and waited for them to pounce. Kalixia went over to the ice cream stand I was watching, oblivious to what was waiting for her there. 

"Tuna Trifle and Maggot Gooseberry on a waffle cone," Kalixia spoke to the machine. 

The panel above slid open to dispense the ice cream, and along with it, a hundred tiny spider-bots poured out onto her arm. The elven woman shrieked, batting futily at the small robots as they crawled into her clothing, some of them spreading out along the ground and walls. As Kalixia danced frantically, Sedder and Min were laughing uproarously on the other side of the Stadium. 

Similar scenes were playing out elsewhere around the Stadium as more ice cream dispensers unleashed hundreds of the tiny black robots. Chaos ensued, and the battle between Kirlin and Valarian in the arena was momentarily forgotten. Shazmar didn't appear to be paying any attention to what was happening at the ice cream stalls, however. Either that, or he just didn't care. One could never be sure with Shazmar. Maybe he found it funny, too. 

"What the heck is going on over there?" wondered Hawthorne, peering in Kalixia's general direction. 

Kalixia was still hopping around, trying to dislodge the robotic spiders from her clothing. Sharina went over to try to help her, but the little things were elusive and clingy. Eventually, between the combined efforts of Sharina, Catalina, and Hawthorne, all the spiders on Kalixia were dislodged and crushed. However, the pretty song elf was now naked, and quite a lovely sight that was! 

"Quit ogling," Tahnmilot snapped at me. 

"Be quiet," I replied. 

Seeing the unwanted attention from random people standing around, Kalixia pulled her clothes back on, blushing. 

"That would have been a lot easier if we could use magic here," Hawthorne muttered in annoyance. 

Sharina said, "Indeed. Somebody ought to talk Shazmar into letting down the dampening field." 

"Think he'll actually do it?" Hawthorne wondered. 

Sharina shrugged. "Never know. He just might." 

Catalina added, "Worth a shot to ask." 

"I'll see about convincing him after the events are over today," Hawthorne said firmly. 

Back over in the corner of the Stadium, Sedder said, "Did you hear that? If they talk Shazmar into lowering the dampening field..." 

Min grinned broadly. "Then this will get a whole lot more fun." 

Sedder grinned as well. "Don't think any of them can trace those spiders back to us." 

"Not unless they can Time-Seek. But then, they can't do that here anyway." 

Sedder snickered. "Not many here that can do that anyway. And most of the ones that can, don't care." 

"True." 

"What shall we do next?" 

Min shrugged. "If they get that field down, we'll have a lot of fun." 

"Let's wait for tomorrow and see if they can manage it." 

Min nodded. From a distance, they continued to watch as elsewhere in the Stadium, others were still struggling with the spidery annoyance they had unleashed upon the place. Seeing that they weren't going to do anything else interesting at the moment, I directed my attention elsewhere. 

My eyes caught upon Sidan and Ed again. The rabbit was introducing a middle-aged balding man to a group of mages. 

"See, this here is Bob," Ed said. "He was a Muggle, a mensch, but now he's learned magic." 

A healer rolled her eyes. "Oh, come now. He was probably just latent. Everyone knows mensch can't do magic." 

"People with latent talents generally discover them by the time they reach adulthood," Sidan pointed out. 

"Well, maybe he's just different," a lightning mage said. 

The balding man, presumably Bob, said, "I never even considered that I could use magic until Edminster here showed me." 

I scanned his aura briefly. It was very dim, and faint flecks of magic were visible, but the majority of it was dull gray, just as Edminster had said. Judging by that, it was probably true what they said. The main part of someone's aura tended to be their inborn talent, and all Elkandu were thought to have them, however weak it was. What if the mensch were simply people born without inborn magic? It was an intriguing possibility, but one that would shake the foundations of Elkandu society if it became widely known. Provided people believed it to begin with. 

I wouldn't find out if they succeeded today, or if Hawthorne convinced Shazmar to lower the dampening field, as the bell sounded the end of events, and Theryn took me back out to the university. I sighed inwardly, and wished that I could sleep sometimes so that these stretches of boredom didn't get to me so much. Maybe it was time for a new host.


	3. Chimerae of Our Lives

I continued to wonder just what sort of strange creatures Keolah had concocted that could possibly have forty-two parents. Nevermind just how, but the prospect was baffling. Certainly a child conceived in such a way would need serious counseling. 

So, when we got back to the Stadium the next day, I made it a point to search out Keolah and see what she was up to. I found her with Adrienna again, as well as a strange creature with gold and purple wings, golden fur, and a reptillian tail. Harmony? No, it couldn't be. A quick scan of her aura showed that she was an Earth mage, not a Changer. Hmm. Perhaps I should say "sie", since the geomancer was apparently a hermaphrodite as well. 

"We're going to be working on seeing about creating more chimerae, Eshryn," Keolah said to the hermaphrodite. Ah, perhaps this was what a chimera was. 

The winged creature, Eshryn I presumed, nodded hir head. "It will be welcome to have more of my kind, yes. I do not believe there are yet enough of us to establish a stable population." 

Harmony approached the group, this time in the form of a small deer-chicken-goat-peacock. Oi, if I had a head, I'd get a headache every time I looked at her. At least Eshryn looked like sie belonged that way. Harmony had a tendancy toward completely unnatural and biologically impossible forms. 

"Hey, Harmony," Keolah said. "I'd like you to meet Eshryn Teldio." She gestured toward the being. "Sie's one of the first chimera prototypes." 

Harmony looked over the chimera and nodded approvingly. "Needs antlers." 

Keolah said, "No, no, this isn't the only possible form a chimera might be in. The real difference is in the genetic structure. Because of it, the appearance of each individual of the species may be very different and varied, allowing a wide range of racial diversity, while still allowing them to interbreed with one another." 

Adri added, "And they're all natural hermaphrodites." 

What was the deal with all the hermaphrodites lately? I didn't get what the big deal was about them. Okay, so they've got both sets of reproductive organs. Now, I'm sure that's all very fun, sexually speaking, and may or may not be a stable and useful system, reproductively speaking, but what's wrong with the good old male and female? That, and I'll never remember what set of pronouns to use at this rate. 

"Hmm," Harmony said. "And this is the pattern you gave me yesterday?" 

Keolah nodded. "You are the only one with sufficient power at Changing to make it happen." 

"Bah, I wished for all the humans in the universe to be turned into elephant-moose-goat-emus, and look what became of that." 

Keolah smirked. "But this is different." 

Adri giggled. "Well, Shazmar did turn some humans into elephants, moose, goats, or emus." 

"It just wasn't the same!" Harmony moaned. "I think he screwed up my wish intentionally. And that's just not fair. I want a refund." 

"Did you even use your wishes from the last competition?" Adri asked. 

Harmony looked thoughtful for a moment. "Well, uh, one of them..." 

Eshryn flicked hir tail and craned hir neck off into the distance. "Unless you folks need me for anything else, I'm going to go meet up with Rukaba," sie said. 

Keolah waved a hand dismissively. "Go on, go on." 

The chimera dropped down on all fours and loped over to another part of the stadium, where sie met up with another being. This one was also a hermaphrodite, but much more humanoid. Sie had a barbed tail like a demon, and ruddy brown fur, but aside from the tail sie could have passed for an ordinary catfolk. I knew sie must be another of those chimerae, however. Were they all such strange combinations of creatures? At least they seemed meant that way, for the most part. 

The two of them embraced, and Eshryn grinned broadly. "Glorious days are approaching for us, my love." 

The other, presumably Rukaba, smiled with a fox-like face. "It's good to hear," sie said. "What's up?" 

"They're planning to make more of us," Eshryn explained. "Not just the couple dozen that we started out with, but thousands, maybe even millions more! They've enlisted the help of Harmony the Changer, I can only presume they mean to turn people into chimerae." 

"So they'll remember having once been something different," Rukaba commented. "Like us." 

"I do hope they'll be glad to be a superior race, though," Eshryn said. "Otherwise the entire exercise is moot." 

Rukaba sighed softly. "It does make me wish, however, that we could have a society of our own, that wasn't just built upon the memories of other races and other lives." 

"It's inevitable, isn't it?" Eshryn said. "We're still Elkandu, after all." 

Rukaba shook her head. "Without Keolah we wouldn't have remembered so much, so quickly. We never really grew up in this life." 

"Well, that's true. But does that invalidate our existence?" 

"No," Rukaba said. "I just wish for something of our own." 

"Well, if you win something, you'll know what to ask for," Eshryn said with a grin. 

Rukaba grinned as well. "Do you really think I could win? Do you really think he'd do that for us if I did?" 

"Hey, you never know unless you give it your best shot, don't you?" Eshryn patted hir on the shoulder. "I'll be trying for it as well, if that's what you really want." 

"Thanks." Rukaba smiled broadly. "It means a lot to me." 

"When are you going on?" Eshryn asked. 

Rukaba looked up at the huge clock over the arena. "Ten minutes." 

"I'll be cheering you on. Who are you fighting?" 

"Somebody named Armina," Rukaba said ominously. 

On the other side of the Stadium, Min was already preparing for the fight. She was wearing some sort of shiny metallic clothing, but it was smoother and more flexible than armor, more like dragonhide. A strange-looking pistol hung from her belt. 

"You sure this is necessary?" she said to Sedder. 

"I did a thorough scan of your opponant's aura," Sedder replied. "Rukaba could beat you, given the chance." 

Min nodded. "Alright. I mean to win something this time, if it's the last thing I do." 

Their match was announced, and Min and Rukaba were teleported into the arena. The chimera looked warily across the arena at hir opponent, for sie was not dressed similarly. Sie was wearing simple clothing, without any armor or weapons. I feared that the poor girl -- err, hermaphrodite -- was in over hir head here. 

Shazmar signalled them to begin, and the lights shifted, the dampening field dropping in the arena. Rukaba immediately began to channel delicate strands of mana, putting up some sort of metallic barrier in front of hirself. But Min was quick, drawing her gun in one motion and firing a ray of light at the chimera. What was this, some sort of laser pistol, like the ones Suzcecoz used from time to time? 

Rukaba was completely unprepared for that sort of attack. The ray passed through hir half-formed barrier without it really stopping anything, and struck hir in the arm. Sie stumbled back, again trying to throw up some sort of defense, but sie wasn't fast enough. Two more shots of the light weapon, and Rukaba lay unmoving on the ground. Shazmar declared Armina the winner, and the two of them vanished, teleported into the recovery room. 

Several minutes later, Rukaba, stumbled out again, now fully healed as well as disappointed and dejected. Sie met up with Eshryn again and muttered angrily, "I will not lose again." 

Eshryn comforted hir with a hug, and murmured, "How were you to know she was going to bring in... whatever those were?" 

"She didn't even use any magic!" Rukaba said irritably. 

"Next time, you'll know what to expect," Eshryn said encouragingly. "And then you will win." 

Rukaba nodded ruefully. "I will be prepared. Two can play at that game." 

The two chimerae sat down to watch the rest of the day's events. I wondered what Hawthorne was up to? Oh yeah, how did her meeting with Shazmar go last night? I'd forgotten all about that. Well, judging by the fact that the magic dampening field around the Stadium is still in place, I'll take it that she didn't succeed. I located her quickly, standing around with Riartan again. Their son was nowhere in the immediate vicinity this time. 

"Why don't you just say his name and ask to talk to him?" Riartan suggested. "That generally gets his attention right quick. Whether it's wanted or not." 

"I think he's just avoiding me to be annoying," Hawthorne muttered. "As if he's ever too busy to talk anyway. He generally manages to be in five places at one time to begin with. And that's just annoying, really, but..." 

Riartan chuckled softly. "Just ask." 

Hawthorne nodded. "Shazmar, could I please talk to you for a minute here?" 

The small elven boy popped into existence in front of her. "Well, since you ask so nicely, I suppose you could." 

I had to admit that Shazmar's current form bore and uncanny resemblance to his parents in this life, Hawthorne and Riartan. It wasn't so obvious unless he was standing next to them, but then, it was undeniable. I had to wonder why Shazmar never aged himself up to the mid-twenties like most Elkandu did. Looking younger than his twin brother, Heller, was very disorienting. 

Hawthorne smiled at the boy. "I just wanted to comment that, wouldn't it be so much more interesting if the magic dampening field on the Stadium were dropped?" 

Shazmar seemed to think about this for a moment. "Well, I didn't want anyone getting hurt outside the arena." 

"Oh, they would anyway, if people brought in non-magical gadgets," Hawthorne said smoothly. "But with that soultrap over the Stadium, and plenty of healers around, there's not really much danger of permanent harm, is there?" 

"I suppose not," Shazmar admitted. 

"Also, it would be must more convenient for us poor mages that are so used to using magic for everything," Hawthorne went on. 

"I will, of course, have to prevent teleportation outside the Stadium," Shazmar pointed out. "The Stadium is located in the Void, after all, outside Timeline Linear-Alpha. It would be dangerous if people were allowed to teleport directly out of it. Most people probably don't realize that it isn't part of the world. But teleportation inside the Stadium should be perfectly safe." 

Hawthorne smiled broadly. That hadn't been too difficult. Seeing as Shazmar still appeared to be in the announcement booth coordinating the matches, I could only presume that he was again in two places at once. "So you'll do it?" Hawthorne asked. 

"Sure," Shazmar answered. "Why not? It'll be fun." 

He vanished again, and along with him, the dampening field around the Stadium faded. Ah, that was so much better. I hadn't really realized just how oppressive it had felt these last few days. I could feel my soul bond to Hawthorne again, as strong as ever. Theryn might be a worthy -- if somewhat boring sometimes -- Dragonblood heir, but I could not bond her because I remained bonded to Hawthorne. Of course, there were always ways to release or break soul bonds, but that was something I'd prefer not to do. Hawthorne had been the next in line to inherit the sword, but what was different and surprising about her was the fact that she'd never died. Everyone else before her had died at some point, but Hawthorne, in spite of all her recklessness and foolishness at times, had somehow managed to avoid it. It was nothing short of miraculous that she had survived all these centuries. 

A quick scan around the Stadium showed that other people were realizing the dampening field was down as well, and some of them were briefly testing their powers to see if they actually worked again. From the loudspeakers, Shazmar's voice stated, "Yes, that's right, the dampening field is down, and you can use your magic again. Enjoy." 

Back over in their corner of the Stadium, Sedder and Min were ecstatic. Sedder said, "She did it!" 

Min licked her lips. "This is going to be great." 

"Remote-casting, enchanted toys, snatching, sending," Sedder rattled off all the things that being able to use magic would allow them to do. "Where to begin..." 

As they discussed possibilities, my attention wandered elsewhere, toward the more immediate threat to the status quo: Harmony. 

Keolah said to her, "With the dampening field down, you'll be able to change people even in the Stadium!" 

Harmony, who was presently in the form of a gazelle-rhinocerus-giraffe-panda, made some sort of grin. "I don't expect people will be happy if I just went willy-nilly changing everyone, though. Amanda's here, and if I did that, they'd just go ask her to change them back." 

"You have a point there," Keolah admitted. 

"Therefore, we have to convince them that being a chimera is a good thing to be," Harmony said succinctly. 

"We haven't really had much luck with that," Adri said with a smirk. 

"I'm sure at least some people will be interested!" Harmony said. "Get those two chimerae over there, whatever their names were. Have them go around and talk to people. All things considered, I could probably even transform them into something identical to their current form, except as a hermaphrodite. But that would be boring, why would anyone want to do that? Antlers and tails and wings are pure art." 

"Maybe if we could convince Amanda to join the cause..." Keolah pondered. 

Harmony shook her head. "She won't. Believe me. She's too much of a prude. Thinks elves are the highest form of life in the universe. Silly girl." 

"Yeah, too bad," Keolah said. "We'll just have to make do then, and see if we can convince people. I'll go let the chimerae know. You two can go get started." 

The small group split up, and they went in different directions. With the dampening field down, I could clearly see the shimmering silver soul bond between Keolah and Adrienna. It was stronger than most, entwined like a thick strand of rope. This was the mutual soul bond that Keolah preferred to use with marriage. But she had been unable to officially marry Hawthorne in this way, because Hawthorne was already bonded to me. 

I didn't get to watch their progress, however, as the matches had just ended for the day, and Theryn was leaving the Stadium. She hadn't even used her magic for anything with the field down. I began to hope that Hawthorne had finally learned and grown up, for it would be welcome to return to her.


	4. The Birds and the Bees

There was an excited buzz in the Stadium the next day. People seemed quite happy to have their powers available again. It just wasn't natural to prevent a mage from using their magic, and most mages just end up feeling stifled and oppressed in such a situation. They all had tolerated it readily enough for the sake of the competition, considering the stakes, but few could complain that the dampening field was down again. 

Some small, brightly colored birds were flitting around the stadium and perching on the rafters, ice cream dispensers, and people's heads. A closer inspection indicated that the birds were decidedly unnatural, probably conjured by somebody. I suspected Sedder and Min were at work again. I scryed over to see what they were up to. 

"Who brought in these damned birds, anyway?" Sedder said in irritation. So much for that theory. 

"Somebody must have conjured them," said Min. 

"Hmph. Annoying things. I can conjure things too," Sedder said with a wicked grin. He sat down and started channeling Creation magic. 

Soon, the buzzing in the Stadium was not just from excitement, as Sedder conjured a number of honeybees and discreetly teleported them to other parts of the Stadium. This caused quite a ruckus as the spectators began to freak out over the bees, swatting at them and angering them further, causing many people to be stung. The pretty birds, however, seemed to take this as a quick meal, and started snapping up the bees and eating them. 

"Those damned birds are eating my bees!" Sedder said indignantly when he saw this. 

Min, however, was laughing. "Look at them run! I daresay the birds are scaring them about as much as the bees. Beautiful chaos." 

After another sweep of the Stadium, I discovered who was creating the birds, in the process of crafting another one. It was Dante, the Catalyst, over in a more quiet part of the Stadium with his wife, Nalash. The both of them were angels now, as seemed the popular thing to be these days, but Nalash's fist-sized multicolored gemstone still sparkled in her breastbone. I suppose that would make her a gemfolk angel, as she was still entirely both, and couldn't be clearly defined as only one or the other. 

"Taking any excuse to stare at her breasts?" Tahnmilot said in my mind. 

"Of course not," I snapped back at him. "Dante wouldn't like that. I was just observing the location of her gem." 

"Sure you were." 

Back over in the other part of the Stadium, Nalash said, "I wonder who let out those bees." 

Dante released another bird, this one with little yellow stars on its wings. "I don't know. Whoever did it, was smart enough not to leave any trace of magic in them. My birds will take care of them, though." He began forming another bird. 

The nifty-looking birds flew around and snapped up the bees as fast as Sedder could make them, but by this point the enraged insects were stinging everyone in sight. A couple well-meaning mages were shooting tiny bursts of electricity at the bees, but for the most part missed the fast-moving insects and were shocking their friends instead. Some incompetent healers were trying to heal the beestings, but forgetting to remove the stinger first, causing further complications. 

"You bumbling fools!" Hawthorne was shouting at them. "Can't you do anything right?" 

"But I thought bees didn't leave in their stinger when they stung somebody!" one of the healers said in protest. 

"That's wasps, you idiot." Hawthorne telekinetically removed the stinger from the poor gnome's arm, quickly numbing the pain and closing the wound. "If you're going to do it, at least do it right." 

Over in his corner of the Stadium, Sedder overheard this, and commented, "Maybe I should switch to making wasps, in that case." 

Min shrugged. "It's not like the bees are surviving long enough to sting somebody twice anyway, with those birds flying around. How about something to take care of those, instead?" 

"Good idea," Sedder said. "Larger things will take a bit longer to conjure. Can you keep the bee-production up while I start making some birds of prey?" 

Min nodded, and took over shaping bees. Sedder proceeded along the task of forming a peregrine falcon. 

Elsewhere in the Stadium, the healers had their hands full healing the annoying beestings, although thanks to Hawthorne taking control of the situation, they at least were removing the stingers first. Harmony had apparently changed into a frog-bird-lizard and was flying around munching on the bees as well. 

Keolah caught up with Adri and said, "You know, it's rather difficult to convince anyone of anything when they're all running around from various flying creatures." 

"Yes, yes it is," Adri agreed. 

"Although I must admit, it is somewhat entertaining watching powerful immortal wizards run around scared from small insects." 

Adri giggled at that. Shazmar was continuing the matches obliviously. Or maybe he just didn't care. One of the competitors he just teleported in had a number of beestings and was starting to swell. 

"This isn't fair!" shouted the human in Shazmar's general direction. "I'm not in my best condition!" 

A flash of light surrounded the human for a moment, and the stingers vanished, the wounds sealing up quickly. "You happy now?" Shazmar's voice echoed. 

"Thanks," the human said, and they began their fight. 

Meanwhile, Sedder had finished crafting a few small falcons, which were now swooping in and snatching up the pretty little birds in their talons. Dante didn't seem particularly happy about this. 

"Who is making those falcons?" Dante asked, rather rhetorically. 

Nalash said, "I'll see if I can track them down." The gem between her breasts began twinkling green as she started sending out webs of Seeking magic. "There's a good deal of interference," she commented. "Seemes like everyone is using magic around here at the moment." 

Dante muttered a bit and started doing some scrying of his own. After a few minutes, he said darkly, "Sedder." He began striding toward the demons' present location, Nalash trailing behind him. 

When the two omnimancers arrived in Sedder's corner, he was just finishing up another falcon. As Dante's shadow fell upon him, he looked up in trepidation at the angels. Dante folded his arms across his chest meaningfully. 

"Oh, hello, Dante," Sedder said brightly. "What can I do for you?" 

"Having your falcons stop eating my birds would be a good start." 

Sedder said, a little flustered, "Oh, those were your birds? I had no idea. Terribly sorry, really." 

That was a wise move on his part. Few people had the sheer power to stand up to Dante, particularly when Nalash was with him. Even though Sedder had spent two wishes on gaining power in the last competitions, he was still not remotely on par with Dante. 

Sedder quickly used a little Mind magic to adjust the behavior patterns of the falcons to stop attacking the pretty birds. Dante, satisfied at that, turned and left. As he went, Sedder breathed a sigh of relief. 

Min said, "Well, that sucks." She'd stopped crafting the bees as well. 

Sedder said, "We'll just have to find some other sort of trouble to make. Carefully." 

Min grinned. There was a soul bond between those two as well. Min was on the controlling end of this one, which seemed a little odd to me as Sedder usually acted like he was in charge. No matter. That was their personal business and not something I particularly cared to delve into too deeply. 

Most of the bees were, by this point, dead either from being eaten by Dante's birds, or from having stung someone. With no new bees being created to fill their place, that particular winged annoyance was abated. I did, however, have to wonder just what the demons' next plan of action was, now that that particular avenue of mischief was closed to them. It was quite entertaining to watch them. 

With the bees gone, the commotion in the Stadium was returning to normal levels, and Keolah and Adri started up with their pro-chimera campaign again. Dante's colorful birds were flying around unmolested now. I had to wonder briefly what was going on in the private viewing rooms, and resolved later to see if I couldn't find a way past the wards on them. 

"Hello," Keolah was saying to a human woman, a water mage. "Would you be interested in a form change?" 

The woman raised an eyebrow. "You wouldn't be wanting to turn me into an elephant-moose-goat-emu, would you?" 

Keolah laughed lightly. "No, no. I'm not Harmony. You see, I've recently completed the design of a new species, superior in every way to the common ones that are presently populating the planes." 

"Really," the human said flatly. 

"Did you ever wish to experience the joy of flying on your own wings?" Keolah went on dreamily. "Or have four arms so you could play the piano and the clarinet at the same time?" 

"Not particularly." 

"Oh. Well. How about, having webbed feet and fins so you can swim better? And gills?" Keolah asked. 

This caught the hydromancer's attention. "That's more interesting, yes. But don't tell me that's all the same species." 

Keolah said, "No, really, the genetic diversity of this species can be unusually high due to the unique arrangement of the chromosomes, and... you have no idea what I'm talking about." 

The woman chuckled softly. "Right, so what makes them so superior from normal people?" 

Keolah explained, "They are capable of having up to forty-two parents, and they're all natural hermaphrodites." 

"I see," the human said, raising her eyebrows. 

"So, are you interested?" 

The woman thought about this for a moment. "Well, okay. Why not?" 

Keolah grinned broadly and looked as though she were about to jump for joy. A little Alteration magic toward the water mage, and she sprouted a fish-like tail and fins, as well as large, webbed feet, and the requisite other equipment necessary to be a hermaphrodite. Some webbing also grew between her fingers, but not enough to interfere with their use. Her skin took on blue and green tones. 

"So, do you like it?" Keolah asked when she was done. 

The former human looked down at her new body, examining her hands, feet, and tail, and said, "Wish there were some water around here to try it out." 

Keolah said, "Oh, the section for aquatic species is on the next floor down. You could head over there." 

"Oh, really? I didn't know there was one. Thanks, I'll take a look." The water mage went off in search of a way down there. 

As I scanned over the Stadium again, I passed over Sidan and Edminster, still carting around Bob and introducing him to random people. 

"You could go out to any plane and find a random mensch and teach him magic," Sidan was saying. 

"That would be a waste of time," grumbled a frost mage. "Just like this conversation." He turned and walked away. 

Sidan sighed. "This is getting us nowhere." 

Edminster said, "Maybe we should take this to the higher mages, like Keolah. They might listen." 

"You think so?" Sidan brightened. "Let's go!" She hopped off in the general direction of Keolah, who had met up with Adri again and was informing her of her success with the water mage. 

Adri said, "It's a start, at least. I'm sure there's plenty more people who won't mind." 

Sidan bounded up to them, Edminster hopping not far behind, Bob trailing behind with a bit of a smirk on his face. "Hey, Keo!" 

Keolah glanced over at them. "Oh, hi Sidan. What's up?" 

"Keo, meet Bob," Sidan said, gesturing toward the human. 

"Hi Bob." 

Bob waved to her a little nervously. No doubt he'd heard of the great Keolah. There were few people who hadn't, even among the mensch. It was no wonder, though, for what a glorious sea of beauty she was-- 

"Oh, do stop that," Tahnmilot said to me in irritation. 

"Sorry." 

Sidan went on, "Bob is a mensch. Or at least, he used to be. But now he's starting to learn magic, and he can actually do it, too!" 

"Really," Keolah said flatly. 

Ed said, "But everyone we attempt to tell about it just says that he must have only been a latent mage and not really a mensch to begin with." 

Keolah said, "You do realize that if this is true, and people believe you, and word gets out, you'll soon have hordes of mensch flooding the university wanting to learn magic." 

Sidan said, "Er, well, yeah. It's already pretty huge. But the Shazmeister can deal with that." 

"The only way to prove it, of course, would be to collect some random mensch and teach them magic," Adri observed. 

Keolah nodded in agreement. "Say, you three wouldn't want to be chimerae, would you?" 

"Chi-whats?" Sidan looked confused. 

Ed said, "I am uncertain as to what you may mean by that name, however, I am perfectly content with my present shape and form, you dig me, dude?" 

Adri giggled. Keolah waved her hand dismissively, saying, "Sure, sure, no matter." 

Sidan, Ed, and Bob went off. But now Theryn was approaching Keolah, and unstrapping my scabbard from her back. 

"Keolah, could you hold this for the moment?" Theryn said. "I'm about to fight." 

"Sure thing," Keolah said, taking me in hand and slinging me over her own back casually. I felt a little indignant at the treatment, but I suppose I should be used to it, seeing as the competitors weren't allowed to bring in magical artifacts into the arena, as it would give them an unfair advantage. 

Theryn, however, I knew was much more powerful than she had been at the last competition. During the interim, she had been training heavily in the use of that newfangled magic system, the Cruces, and using gems for the practice. Now, her aura had bright bands of colors from the excessive use of magical gems. I had no doubt that she would perform well. 

The match was in Rock, and she was going up against the chimera Eshryn. I watched them fight, hurling stones at one another and breaking the ground beneath their feet, which had been set to a rocky terrain for this match. It was a close match. Eshryn was powerful, but hir methods were crude and unskilled. After some long minutes of battling, Theryn narrowly defeated hir. 

Theryn was beaming happily when she returned to Keolah to pick me up again. "Good job," Keolah said to her. 

"Thanks," Theryn said, strapping my scabbard onto her back. 

She walked away without another word, heading for the portal out of the Stadium. What, she couldn't be leaving already, the matches weren't over yet! But she was. With no concern whatsoever about me or what I wanted to do. Damnit all. Theryn went back to the university and started practicing with gems a bit more before going to sleep, leaving me sitting here irritably and alone.


	5. Sex, Ducks, and Rock and Roll

It wasn't until late the next morning that Theryn took me back to the Stadium. Apparently, Shazmar had only let the university students out of classes for the first couple days of the competition. I did hope that that wouldn't interfere with match schedules, as many of the students were participating in the competition. Though, knowing Shazmar, he could probably just make them appear in two places at once as well. That must be most disorienting. But more immediately, if Theryn was going to be going to classes in the morning, that meant that I was going to miss a lot of the action at the Stadium. Argh! 

When we got back to the Stadium, I immediately began skimming about to see what I had missed. I found that the Elkandu power metal band, Pyroluminescence, had set up their equipment in the back of the stadium. Ishane was there, observing their progress, along with Streyka, his Speaker wife. The band was playing some quiet, instrumental background music at the moment, which set a nice tone for watching the competition. 

I scanned over to see if Sedder and Min were planning anything new and interesting today, but found them sitting quietly, Sedder hunched over in thought, Min reclining casually. A little disappointed, I moved on to check in on Hawthorne instead, but Hawthorne was likewise just hanging around quietly. Next, my attention slid over to where Keolah and Adrienna were at. 

"Now, remember to keep in mind that pattern I sent you," Keolah was telling Adri. 

Adri nodded slightly, focusing on the Creation magic she was channeling. She worked up her face in concentration, and then suddenly, with a pop, a small flock of ducks appeared around the angel and flew off. 

Keolah stared off at the escaping waterfowl. "Well... it was close." 

Adri sighed in annoyance. "I wanted doves, not ducks!" 

The ducks flew off around the Stadium, one of them landing on the band's drumkit. "Go away, bird," muttered the drummer, trying to shoo it with a drumstick. The duck remained obstinately where it was. 

In the far corner of the Stadium, Sedder neutrally watched the ducks fly past. Pyroluminescence was picking up the tune a bit louder and adding lyrics to it. Their lead singer was a man, but it was the backup female singer that caught my attention. Such beautiful and liquid music, flowing around the Stadium like sweet honey. I glanced over to see who it was, and wasn't surprised to discover that it was Streyka. Few people could match the voice of a true Speaker, and Streyka was the best there was. 

Then, after a bit, the male singer dropped out, and a second Streyka stepped up and began a duet with the first. That's right, like Angelita, another Streyka had come in from the next timeline, as if things weren't confusing enough. And they didn't even have the decency to call themselves something different. They were like twins, identical in every way. I was rather glad I didn't have ears, and my hearing was purely magical, or I'd have been caught up in their music as well. 

It was clear to see that most people in the Stadium were affected, though. I knew a handful of them, mainly telepaths, should be immune to that power, but most had no defense against it whatsoever. They listened with half an ear as they watched the matches, many of them unaware of the magic woven into the song. And the song sung by the Streyka duet extolled the glory of Tempest, and encouraged people to support them. I found that a bit amusing, myself. The Tempest faction already ruled the universe. Did they really need to drum up more support? Perhaps they were merely putting the thought of rebellion of out people's heads before it ever got there. 

The ducks were flying around, joining the colorful birds and the handful of falcons, yet none of them seemed to actually require food, nor did they leave any feathers or droppings anywhere. That was a bit less entertaining. I had hoped that the ice cream dispensers would be covered in bird droppings by this point. Of course, considering some of the odd things Kalixia was ordering from them, it wouldn't surprise me if there was that sort of flavor available. Ick. 

Then, another wave of magic slowly began spreading over the Stadium and growing slowly in intensity. This time it was Mind magic, and mingling with the Speech magic already covering the place, it began affecting the spectators. I was unable to identify the sort of magic immediately, but a quick comparison of the mana pattern revealed that it was Min's doing. 

A quick glance at Sedder and Min revealed that they were somewhat occupied at the moment, and the type of magic they were radiating quickly became apparent as hundreds of mages began taking off their clothes and starting to get busy themselves, all over the Stadium. Even the fighters in the arena at the moment stopped what they were doing to join in. 

"Oh dear," Tahnmilot commented. "Now just look at you, Zarnith. You're going to sit here and stare at them all having an orgy, and you're going to enjoy it, aren't you." 

"Oh, come now, Tahnmilot," I replied. "You don't think so little of me, do you? To take advantage of people that are clearly being controlled by outside magic in some manner?" 

"I know you, remember?" 

"Point," I conceded, and proceeded to ogle the naked elves. 

"See? I told you you would!" Tahnmilot cried victoriously. 

"Ah, let me have my fun, will you?" I whined. "I mean, just look at them! There's hundreds of sexy naked bodies out there!" 

Even the telepaths, who I'd have expected to have been able to block out the energies, were joining in on the action. Theryn had put me down somewhere and was snuggling up with Soliaron. Hmm, Soli's a nali. Wouldn't that be technically beastiality or something? Or I suppose it doesn't count if it's an intelligent furry animal, I guess. I bet Soli's all soft and fuzzy and cuddly. 

"Zarnith!" Tahnmilot snapped. 

"What?" I asked indignantly. 

"Stop ogling that male nali. One would think you're turning into a raging homosexual fur-fanatic. Go back to ogling the naked elf chicks, at least." 

"Oh, give me a break, Tahnmilot." 

Laying on the floor, I watched attentively as the competition ground to a halt and turned into one huge orgy. With ducks flying around randomly. The ducks were primarily ignored, however, as people were otherwise occupied. The music had mostly stopped, as well, although various sounds vaguely resembling another sort of music could be heard from that general direction, as the two Streykas started getting wild with one another. Hmm. If you have sex with an alternate timeline version of yourself, is it considered masturbation, or homosexuality? 

"Only you would ask a question like that," Tahnmilot commented. 

"Well, not really," I mused. "It seems to be a rather common thing around here, actually." 

"Point," Tahnmilot said. 

I did, however, rather wish that I could join in. There were times when it just was no fun not having a real body. The damned sword doesn't even really count, as I can't even feel when somebody touches it, although I always know since I can scry. It's just not the same, though. Why did I ever get this hairbrained idea to put myself in a bloody magic sword, anyway? I guess it seemed like a good idea at the time. But now all these mages are living forever anyway, now that they've found ways to stop their aging without even trying. Man, it's so different from what it was in my day. Why, back in my day, an elf could barely be expected to live fifty years, and now they're living five hundred or more! 

"Oh, quit your whining," Tahnmilot muttered. "At least you had a choice about it." 

"Hey, if you didn't want to still be here, I'd have let you go," I retorted. "Like I did with Telkarnith and Kiorden." 

"Whatever," Tahnmilot said. "Maybe I just don't find the idea of being a whiny, squawling baby again particularly appealing." 

"Telkarnith's been doing pretty well for himself in his new life," I told him. "I wonder if he actually remembers anything yet, though." 

"I suppose. What's he called these days, anyway?" 

"Zaktaran Tenebrian," I replied. 

"Oh yeah, him. Is he still in charge of Mezulbryst?" Tahnmilot asked. 

"No, no, remember, after Jami got banished, Theryn went and helped Manifel and Soliaron take over Mezulbryst?" 

"Oh, that. I forgot all about that." 

"You just weren't paying attention," I chided him. 

"What happened to him after that?" 

"I forgot," I admitted. 

"Does anyone else even know he's Telkarnith Chelseer?" Tahnmilot wondered. 

"Probably not. I suppose Theryn or Jami would have, if anyone did. And I don't think Theryn realizes it." 

"Bah, Theryn didn't even realize she was Dragonblood at all until it got shoved in her face," Tahnmilot scoffed. 

"Point," I said. 

"Why did Jami get banished, anyway?" 

"Because everyone was scared to death of him and thought he was being a jerk," I answered. "Though really, he wasn't nearly half so bad as others that have come before, nor nearly as bad as he used to be, before he got reborn. I suppose Rhuan's been banished for so long that people have forgotten just how bad things can get." 

Tahnmilot gave a sort of mental shudder at the mention of that name. "Please don't say that name again, Zarnith." 

"Sorry. You have to admit, even though Jami may have done a lot of horrible things in his day, he wasn't as bad as Rhuan." 

"Admitted, and gladly so," Tahnmilot said with something of a sigh. "Whoa! Did you see that?" 

"See what?" I quickly scanned around the Stadium. 

"Keolah and Hawthorne were getting it on!" 

"Where? Where?" I looked around frantically, but when I found them, Keolah was playing with Adri, and Hawthorne with Riartan. "They are not!" 

"Ha, ha. Made you look." 

"Damn you." 

After some time, the empathic projection field around the Stadium began to fade, although the action continued in many parts of the Stadium, as people apparently saw no reason to stop what they had already started anyway, I suppose. The music did start up again after a bit, as the band members recovered and returned to their instruments. And managed to remove the ducks from the drumkit. Other people began a search for various missing articles of clothing that had disappeared at some point during the activity. 

"This is turning into the most... interesting... competition in history." That was Theryn, said mainly to herself and not to me, as she retrieved my scabbard and slung it back onto her back again. She was fully clothed again, and seemed a bit embarassed by what had just occurred between her and the fuzzy kitty. 

The competitors in the arena finally managed to retrieve their clothes and proceed with attempting to kill one another. Shazmar was surprisingly quiet during all this. Had he been affected by the spell as well, or was he just enjoying the show? I suppose such a powerful being as Shazmar would be immune to such effects, but the same could have been probably said about many of the people in the Stadium today. Maybe they hadn't actually been affected, and were just going along with it for the fun of it, instead. Knowing these Elkandu, they'll take any excuse for sex that they can get... 

Over in the dark corner of the Stadium, Sedder and Min had finished up their business, and illusionary clothes covered their bodies again as they observed the pure chaos their actions had caused. Hmm, illusionary clothes. That's a good idea. No need to scramble around searching for clothes that had gotten dropped somewhere in the heat of passion. Though I suppose they must not be particularly warm, but any powerful mage should be able to take care of that anyway with a little Fire magic, though I don't think it would actually be necessary unless they were taking a vacation to Sasherey, and I'm not sure why anyone would want to go there in the first place, as it's colder than a white dragon's rump out there. 

Theryn was fighting again today, dropping me off with Keolah when she did. It was better than being left on the floor like a piece of trash, at least. This time it was a Creation match, and she was going up against some lizardman I had never heard of. Again, it was an easy victory. I found I didn't really care at the moment, though. When the tough fights in Creation came, I knew she would fail, as there was no way she could beat Dante at his best talent. 

Sadly, Theryn headed back to the university after fighting today, much to my disappointment. I suppose she'd had enough excitement for one day. She cloistered herself up in her room at the university and threw herself into studying the notes from the last lecture. But I just wanted to get back to the Stadium.


	6. A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Competition

Theryn woke the next morning and went off to class, dragging me along as usual. I hung on her back, listening to Shazmar drone on about advanced magical theory and the possible applications of Cloud magic. Personally, I didn't find Cloud magic particularly useful, considering the limited range of abilities that it had. So what if you could make a cloud bunny in the sky? It wasn't going to help you in a fight. About the only possible combative application it had was in conjuring a dense fog to prevent your enemies from seeing what was going on, and even that could be nullified by anyone with a little Wind magic, or if they had any Seeking whatsoever. 

The class was boring as hell, and I'd fall asleep if I could. Shazmar being in two places at once was disorienting enough. I supposed that I should probably have been paying more attention to what he was saying, as learning the Cruces myself might be a good idea, but I'd always had enough raw power available that I didn't need such subtleties. 

Theryn was very quiet today, and seemed to be avoiding looking at Soli or talking to him unless absolutely necessary. Silly girl. She couldn't still be in love with Jami, after he was banished and she practically betrayed him along with everyone else. I wonder if they're biologically compatable. 

After class, Theryn went to take her notes back to her room before going to the Stadium. Along the way there, she passed through an open courtyard in which Sidan and Edminster were talking to about twenty mensch. 

"Yes, you can really learn magic, too!" Sidan was saying eagerly. 

The mensch looked rather skeptical. Edminster called forth a volunteer. A young human girl went up toward him. He channeled a little Mind magic toward her, and then said, "Did you get that?" She nodded. "Now try it." 

Sidan and Ed's antics had, by this point, attracted the attention of a number of bewildered students. Theryn, likewise, stopped to see what was going on. The nervous girl was concentrating deeply, clenching her eyes shut and trying hard to do what Edminster had showed her. Telepathic teaching methods were quite efficient in getting the basics down, in my experience, but they start to fail when more advanced techniques are necessary, as for those, a good deal of practice is required to get it right even when you know exactly how to do it. 

"Oh, this isn't going to work," said one mage disdainfully. 

"They're mensch," said another. "They can't use magic. Why don't you give up this silliness?" 

"Look, I think she's going to turn blue!" That student was pointing at the poor girl, who was holding her breath and trying to get the magic to work. 

Then, suddenly, she channeled. A rush of mana flooded the immediate vicinity and violet lightning streaked into nothing. Sidan quickly shielded the girl to keep it contained, and Ed shunted off the excess mana so that she didn't burn herself with it. The mages, however, were staring at her in awe, speechless. The poor girl fell to her knees and stopped trying to use the magic quickly, trembling. 

Ed hopped up to her. "Are you alright?" 

"I... I think so," she whispered brokenly. 

The mages started getting over their shock and began tittering excitedly. "Did you see that? The mensch channeled! I can't believe it! That was amazing!" 

"Maybe she was just a latent Catalyst," one said. 

Sidan turned to that one and replied, "How many mensch need to channel before you are unable to write them all off as having been 'latent mages'?" 

That silenced their protests. Theryn moved on and went to her room, then Recalled and entered the Stadium. I was glad to be back here, even though I was curious as to what would happen because of Sidan and Ed's revelation. Once the word spread, the implications would be earthshaking. Keolah was certainly right about that. Maybe it would mean things at the university would get more interesting after all. 

I searched around for Hawthorne to see how she was doing today. Hawthorne sighed heavily. "I'll be fighting Ardyth this afternoon." 

"I'm sure you'll manage to beat her this time," Riartan said. 

"I sure as hell hope so," Hawthorne muttered. "Bad enough to lose twice to her. I won't let her make it a third time." 

Riartan hugged her. "Just relax and do your best and you'll be fine." 

I scanned around a bit more. Sedder and Min weren't in their corner today. I did a quick search and found them at the edge of a shallow pool that lead down into the aquatic section of the stadium. What were they up to this time, I wondered? 

"I don't really think we could turn that much water into vodka," Sedder said. 

"Well, let's get Harmony to help, then," Min suggested. 

"I don't think she could manage it, really," Sedder commented. "She's a flesh mage, really. Have you ever seen her change an inanimate object?" 

"I know! Let's get Lexen, then!" 

Sedder grinned broadly. "That just might do the trick." 

Lexen was another Dragonblood, and had, for some unfathomable reason, wasted a wish to become a Beer Mage in the first competition. 

"It wasn't a waste!" protested one of the souls in the sword. 

"Oh, be quiet," I said. "When was the last time you had beer?" 

"Uh, five hundred years ago..." 

"My point made, I think." 

Sedder and Min were going off to find Lexen. They found him drinking a mug of cherry mead over near Pyroluminescence, who were presently playing a song called "Dueling Heledhars", on a couple oddly shaped stringed instruments. 

"Hey, Lexen," Sedder said. "You think you can come conjure a bit of beer or something for us?" 

"Sure thing," Lexen said, following him back over toward the pool. Min giggled quietly to herself as they arrived back there. 

"We're going to need a lot of alcohol here," Sedder said, gesturing to the pool. "You think you can turn this water into vodka?" 

Lexen looked over the pool appraisingly. "Oh, yeah, I suppose I could manage that." He started channeling his own form of Water magic, and wove threads through the pool, transmuting the liquid into alcohol. Below them, under the ledge that hung over the passage into the aquatic section, the water flowed out and mingled with the alcohol, diluting it. "Oh, something's diluting the vodka here. I'll have to put in some more pure alcohol to combat the effect." He wove a stronger weave, this time turning the pool into pure alcohol. 

As Lexen fought with the pool, Sedder sent some Seeking weaves downward to see the effect the increased alcohol level was having on the aquatic beings down there. The merfolk and palistelli were starting to swim erratically. 

Ishane walked up behind Sedder. "What's going on over here?" 

Sedder turned to look at the leader of Tempest and said, "Oh, we're just stirring up some chaos, sir." 

"Right, carry on, then." He walked away. 

Min giggled again after he was gone. "How's it coming over there, Lexen?" 

Lexen said, "It keeps getting diluted for some reason." 

"You do realize there's a tunnel under there leading into another section, don't you?" Sedder pointed out. 

"Oh," Lexen said dumbly. "Well, it'll take a while to turn it all into alcohol, if there's much more down there." 

"We've got all the time in the universe," Sedder said with a smile. 

I had to turn my attention away for the time being, as Hawthorne had entered the arena and was about to fight. She faced off the pretty song elven woman, Ardyth, with a fierce gaze and a stern face. 

"This time, I will win," Hawthorne said firmly. 

Ardyth just smiled unnervingly at her. With that, the lights changed, and the match began. Hawthorne quickly channeled through her Evocation amulet, throwing up a ward around herself and preparing for an attack. Ardyth spoke not a word, but channeled Earth magic, yanking the ground out from under Hawthorne's feet. Hawthorne stumbled and fell backwards. I suppose she's technically an angel now, but she had no wings on right now. Maybe she found them bothersome when indoors. 

Hawthorne quickly channeled a touch of Alteration, her body reverting to her angelic form as golden wings sprouted from her back. With a rustle of feathers, she took to the air away from the unstable ground. Ardyth was ready for this, however, and tumultous winds swirled around the winged Hawthorne. 

A shimmering barrier snapped into existence around Hawthorne as she puts up wards. Ardyth's winds tried to crush it like an eggshell, but Hawthorne was already preparing an attack. A lightning bolt arced from Hawthorne's hands through the ward, knocking out Ardyth's shield, but the other evoker was uninjured. 

Ardyth was quick with a countermeasure, and with a blast of energy, ripped Hawthorne's shield to shreds. Before Ardyth could act upon her advantage, however, a stream of white-hot flame flew toward her. She dodged aside quickly, but her shoulder was badly burnt. Then Ardyth channeled Mind and Death, and Hawthorne cried out in agony as pain shot through her body, plummeting to the ground. 

Ardyth quickly pressed her advantage, not letting Hawthorne have a chance to recover, sending fire ripping through Hawthorne's body as well. Then they both faded out of existence, and Shazmar declared Ardyth the winner. 

Poor Hawthorne. She was not happy one bit when she emerged, fully healed, from the recovery room. A lengthy stream of swear words flowed freely from her mouth as she returned to her spot next to Riartan. He hugged her tightly and tried to comfort her. 

"Damnit all," murmured Hawthorne, trembling. She buried her face into Riartan's shoulder. "Why must I fail at everything I try to do? I'm nothing anymore." 

"Shh, there there," Riartan said soothingly, patting her back gently. "You can still win." 

"Against Edminster and Sidan?" Hawthorne sighed loudly. "I need every win I can get. That's three competitions in a row that Ardyth has beaten me, and I can't attribute it to dumb luck anymore." 

Riartan sighed as well, and was silent. Had it really been so bad for her? In the old days, she would have been a raging mess, but here she was crying! She really had changed... 

With a heavy heart, I turned away from the scene and looked in on the pool again. Lexen had, by this point, succeeded in converting a large amount of the water to alcohol, and the aquatic species below were having major difficulties. 

The head of a drunken mermaid broke the surface of the pool, gasping for breath. Her green hair hung in wet streaks down her bare shoulders and breasts. 

"Stop ogling," Tahnmilot said. 

"I'm not ogling, damnit," I muttered in irritation. "Besides. She's got no top on and she's drunk!" 

"Point." 

I was rather glad that merfolk could shift their tails to legs, because otherwise I would have had to wonder just how exactly they managed to reproduce. Still, I had to appreciate the form Keolah changed that hydromancer to better, as it gave both the benefits of swimming and still being able to walk without needing to shapeshift. 

"What ish going on here?" the mermaid slurred drunkenly. 

"Oh, we were just making some alcohol for the party," Sedder said brightly. 

"Party? There's a party?" Lexen said excitedly, turning from the pool. 

"Yup," Sedder lied. 

The mermaid swam to the edge of the pool and tried to pull herself out, without much success. Min pulled her out, grinning widely. However, the mermaid also proved to be too drunk to shift form, so she just lay there drunkenly with a blue-green scaled fish tail. 

"Do we have enough alcohol yet?" Lexen asked. "I want to go to the party!" 

At this point, Keolah and Adri walked up to the pool, followed closely by that hydromancer chimera. "What's going on here?" Keolah wondered. "Ella here came up to me half-drunk and said everyone in the water section was drunk and suffocating!" 

Great, yet another name for me to remember. Though I suppose sie was going to get annoyed if I kept calling her "the hydromancer". Provided sie even knew I was watching hir to begin with. 

Sedder smiled at Keolah. "We were just going to have a party here and needed large quantities of alcohol." 

Keolah looked meaningfully toward Lexen. "I don't suppose you can turn alcohol back into water, can you?" 

Lexen looked at her blankly. "Why would anyone want to do that?" 

"Ah, c'mon, Keo, we were just having a bit of fun," Min said, giggling. 

Keolah sighed. "There is nothing in the universe more dangerous than a bored mage." 

She waved a hand toward the poor drunk mermaid, removing the alcohol from her body. The mermaid then split her tail into a pair of rather sexy legs and stood up, giving a small bow to Keolah. 

"Oh, so you've gone from ogling breasts to ogling legs now, Zarnith?" Tahnmilot commented. 

"Pity she's not naked," I replied. "I wonder where those panties mysteriously came from." 

"It's magic, I suppose." 

Keolah gave a long look toward Lexen, as if gauging if he were actually serious or not. Apparently deciding that he was, Keolah said, "Lexen, I want you to turn this alcohol back into water. Right now." 

"Why?" 

"Because I said so," Keolah said calmly. 

"Oh, okay." Lexen turned back toward the pool and started weaving Water magic again, beginning to convert the liquid back into normal water. 

Sedder, still pouting, said to Min, "Guess we'll just have to find something else to do, won't we." 

Min grinned ominously. Keolah rolled her eyes, and turned around and walked off with Adri, leaving Ella standing around watching Lexen consideringly. A moment later, Sedder and Min walked off in the other direction, heading back toward their dark corner. 

"I'm just glad nobody can actually die in the Stadium," the mermaid commented. "What kind of a crazy idea was that, to turn the aquatic section into alcohol?" 

Lexen said, "It wasn't my idea." 

That taken care of, I turned my attention back to the rest of the Stadium. It appeared that Sidan and Edminster had returned at some point, and were showing that mensch girl around, again trying to convince people that mensch could learn magic. 

"Look!" Sidan said eagerly. "Bob channeled, this girl channeled, half a dozen of the other mensch there channeled as well." 

"Admittedly, they haven't managed to do much with magic yet," Edminster added, "but that they can channel at all is evidence that the original assumption that mensch were unable to use magic was incorrect, dudes." 

A wind mage sighed. "I don't know. Maybe it's some sort of fluke." 

"Can only have so many coincidences before something isn't a coincidence anymore," Ed pointed out. 

"If this is true," said a warder, "then it should be kept a tight secret. It could be disasterous if this got out!" 

"If anyone can learn magic," wondered a young telepath, "what, then, would be the difference between a mensch and a mage?" 

"Power and skill, naturally," Sidan answered. "Inborn mages will still be more powerful than a mensch that has learned magic, of course. Just like an inborn fire mage is stronger with fire than a lightning mage with no skill at fire who has learned fire magic." 

"I suppose," the wind mage said. "But is it really a good idea to teach them? Particularly if they'll inevitably be weaker than their inborn counterparts." 

Edminster raised his paw. "Do remember that I used to be a weak Catalyst, little more than a mibi, before I started learning at the university. And now look at me." One of the most powerful omnimancers around. "High skill can make up for low power, until such time as that power can be gained." 

The mages nodded slightly. They were starting to accept this as possible. But nervousness and skepticism still radiated from them. They weren't sure they wanted the universe to be glutted with people capable of using magic. Bad enough so many Elkandu met or surpassed their powers, where once they had been special on their own worlds. 

"It's not polite to look into other people's thoughts, Zarnith," Tahnmilot chided. 

"Bah, not like they can sense me anyway," I replied. "They don't have any Mind magic, and don't have any shields up." 

"Well, still." 

"And they'll never know I was in there, so what difference does it make? Telepaths do it all the time." 

"Whatever," Tahnmilot went quiet. 

I wanted to check in on Hawthorne again before we left, but Theryn was already heading out of the Stadium again. I sighed internally in resignation as she carried me out and back to the university. I contented myself to scry around there to see how people were reacting to having witnesses random mensch channel before their eyes. Word was spreading, and the students and teachers alike were excited and nervous about it. If nothing else, it would certainly mean more people would be coming to the university soon.


	7. Life, the Universe, and Ice Cream

So, the next day, after class, Theryn headed back to the Stadium again. The Enchantment event was today. This was the first of the non-combative events, and excitement was high on its inception. 

Shazmar stepped up to explain matters a bit. "The Enchantment event will commence shortly. This event will be in the form of a non-combative free-for-all. All of the participants will be teleported into the arena at once, at which point they will set about weaving the appropriate enchantments to which the event will be judged upon. The winner will be the one who can weave the best enchantment within the ten minutes of time allotted." 

A dozen various mages were teleported into the arena. There were items scattered about on the floor for their use in enchantment: rings, daggers, bags, cloaks, all the more common things that were enchanted, as well as a number of less common ones as well. After giving them a chance to pick up items that they wished to enchant, the lights in the arena shifted, and Shazmar signalled that they could begin. 

The mages within frantically began weaving enchantments upon their items, some of them upon their own bodies instead. Some people were more specialized in enchantment metal items, or cloth items, while others worked mainly with living flesh. Although the arena was full of low-powered enchanters, judging by the strength of their auras, I felt that the event would go to either Calring or Sannari, but barring that, Ekizi and Zaloomcha were possibilities. 

The exact type of enchantments was not specified, no doubt to allow people to choose what they wished to enchant based upon their own strengths. Were this a contest of who could produce the fastest bag of holding, Zaloomcha would certainly win, hands down, since that was his specialty. Calring had a distinct advantage here, as she was generally considered the most powerful enchantress in the universe, though she was limited to enchanting metal items, such items were readily available for her here. She seemed to be working quite slowly, however. Was she going to finish in time? 

After allowing them ten minutes to enchant their items, a bell sounded and the lights shifted and their magic stopped working. Calring looked up nervously toward the announcement booth. Judging by the weaves on her ring, it looked like she hadn't managed to finish in time. 

"I will now announce the scores," Shazmar's voice echoed. "In last place, with a wand of turn pink, Mr. Ian Woon." 

Mr. Ian Woon? What sort of a name was that? Shazmar continued to announce the order of the participants, over a number of random people I'd never heard of before with low-quality items. Then he came to the important people. 

"In third place, with a ring of invisibility, Calring Chelseer." 

Calring sighed heavily in disappointment, dropping the half-enchanted ring to the floor. 

"In second place, with a sword of sharpness, Sannari Anazati." 

Sannari, in contrast, seemed quite pleased with his performance, making a flourish with his sword and a bow to the audience. 

"And in first place, the winner of the Enchantment event, with an orb of knowledge, is Ladir." 

Ladir? What the hell? That faun had had such a low power that I'd overlooked him as a possibility. But looking at the orb he had crafted, I had to admit that it was the best. Such a complex piece of enchantment in a short period of time. Ladir stepped up to make a bow as well, or at least as well as somebody who had goat legs could really bow, and smiled broadly. 

After they were teleported out of the arena again, I started scanning around the Stadium to see what sort of trouble people were getting into today. Sedder and Min were pretty quiet at the moment, and Hawthorne seemed a bit calmer than she'd been yesterday. However, I came across Keolah and Adri talking with Harmony again. 

"This isn't working very well," Harmony said. 

Adri sighed. "It seems most people don't want to be hermaphrodites so much as to be chimerae. Silly people." 

"Maybe it's time to resort to more extreme measures," Keolah mused aloud. 

"But how could we accomplish that?" Harmony protested. "Amanda would just undo our efforts anyway. And even if we somehow kept her out of it, they'd end up being angry about being changed against their will." 

"Oh, no, I wasn't suggesting changing people against their will." Keolah had a wicked grin on her face. She was up to something. 

"What, then?" Adri asked. 

"Well, remember how Shazmar managed to convince large quantities of people that being an angel or a demon was a good thing?" Keolah went on. 

"Yeah, by plastering posters all over the universe," Harmony said wryly. "How's that going to help? We can't mount a propoganda campaign on that scale." 

"Not necessarily on that scale," Keolah said. "Not really necessary. We couldn't change millions of people all at once anyway." 

"Why don't we just use a little Mind magic?" Adri suggested. 

"Yeah, then they'd at least be happy about it," Harmony added. 

Keolah smirked. "Somehow that seems vaguely immoral, but certainly effective, provided they don't actually have any Mind of their own." 

"That's fine, we don't want to mess with the telepaths anyway," Harmony said with a snicker. 

"True," Keolah said. "And there's no point talking to people that can change on their own anyway, since they'd end up changing out of the chimera form unless I sent them the requisite pattern." 

"You'd think that people that can get reborn as either gender wouldn't be so caught up on it," Adri commented. 

"Well, people do tend to have some effect over their rebirth gender and race, sometimes," Keolah said. "I've been reborn as male or female alternately, but always as an elf or human." 

"There's a lot of elves and humans in the universe, you know," Harmony commented. 

"Well, yeah," Keolah said. "But then I've known other people that always get reborn as the same gender, and usually at least a similar race." 

"Do you suppose people who like being chimerae will continue to be reborn as chimerae?" Adri wondered. 

"It's entirely possible," Keolah answered. "Provided there is sufficient population to allow it. They won't be able to produce offspring with normal males and females, of course. They're completely incompatable." 

Adri nodded in agreement. "So once we get a stable population of them, they'll be able to continue from there on their own." 

"We could, of course, just continue creating them raw," Keolah said. "But that takes a good deal of time and energy to do properly." 

"Maybe we could ask Theryn for help with that," Adri suggested. "She's got the Zarnith, after all." 

Horray, people remembering that I exist! Theryn could certainly do what they had in mind. She was creating new drow to repopulate Mezulbryst, after all. But she used a trick with it to just conjure the fertilized egg and used Time magic to speed up the aging proecss. It would certainly be more difficult to conjure a fully formed adult like that. 

"Maybe," Keolah said. "Did you notice her aura? She's gained a good deal of power since we last saw her." 

That was from using gems. It's been a well-kept secret that using gems extensively can raies your power level, but Keolah of all people should know about that. 

"Creating new bodies seems to attract a soul to that body," Adri commented. "Not all of the souls whose memories we've restored much appreciated it." 

Keolah shrugged. "I'd think most reasonable people would be just grateful for having been reborn and being able to remember their last life. The only true death is to forget, after all. Not everyone is going to see it that way, of course, but you can't please everyone." 

"Sure you can, with a little Mind magic," Adri said with a grin. 

"Well, yeah, aside from that." Keolah snickered softly. 

Harmony said, "Alternatively, I could just go to some remote plane and change a bunch of mensch. Nobody will know the difference, or even really care." 

"That could work, too," Keolah said. "And with the discovery Sidan and Ed have made, they'd still eventually be able to become Elkandu." 

Hmm, you know. If mensch can learn magic, and mages can increase their power by using gems, then any mensch that got his hands on a pile of magical gems could become one of the most powerful mages around. That's somewhat a scary thought. I wonder if anyone else has realized that yet. Theryn must surely know as well, if she's been paying attention. 

If nothing else, if mensch started learning magic, it would put a quick stop to the blatant abuse of them that I've seen many mages doing. I wonder, if mensch can learn magic, does that mean animals can as well? Well, certainly. Cantori was a griffin and he could use Mind magic better than his rider, at the time. Though I suppose intelligent animals like griffins and unicorns don't really count as mere animals, do they? I've seen a number of unicorns that could use magic, as well. But what about others, like cats and wolves and such? Can literally anyone and anything learn magic? 

I went off to see what Sidan and Ed were up to. It appeared that they had made considerably more progress in convincing people that mensch could channel. They were presently over near one of the ice cream dispensers with Kalixia and Sharina, and Sharina's husband Falden. 

"Mensch? Learn magic?" Sharina said skeptically. 

"That's right," Sidan said. "We collected a group of ranadom mensch, and telepathically showed them how to channel, and over a third of them could manage at least channeling within ten minutes." 

Kalixia munched on the end of an ice cream cone. "But if mensch can learn magic, does that mean I could use magic without singing?" 

"Certainly," Edminster said. "It has been my experience that those people who believe that they are required to utilize such things as gestures, songs, and chanted words in the use of their magic are actually quite capable of using such magic without the need for those crutches, given the proper experience and learning. You dig me?" 

One of these days, I will need to figure out just where that rabbit's odd speeech patterns came from. Kalixia finished her ice cream cone and said, "Really. I have noticed that my magic will work if I just hum, when it used to be I had to sing aloud." 

"Just learn to drop the humming entirely and you'll really kick ass," Sidan told her. 

Kalixia nodded slightly, and turned to the ice cream dispenser. "Pepper and Avacado on a waffle cone, please." The slot opened and dropped two scoops of ice cream onto a cone held by a robotic arm, which then handed it to her. She took it and started licking. 

Sharina gave a look of disgust, but didn't comment on it. She had her angelic wings proudly displayed, as did Falden. Sharina, like Hawthorne, had once been a demon, but had also converted to angeldom some years back. 

I was glad that Hawthorne had seen the light and become an angel. I'd abandoned her when she became a demon. I did know what horrible thing she had seen that caused her to decide that it wasn't a good idea to support the Darkhammer faction, and at the time, Heaven was the only place safe from them. Not that I have anything in particular against demons. They aren't exactly all "evil" like some people think, nor are all angels as "good" as some would like to believe. Still, it was Hawthorne's own actions that decided her fate, and not merely having been a demon. 

"You know," Sharina said, "this is going to end up getting as out of hand as rampant Time magic. And this time we can't just ban it, either." 

At this point, Keolah seemed to sense a discussion complaining about Time magic coming on, and walked up to the ice cream stand. Adri wasn't with her at the moment. 

Keolah went up to the ice cream dispenser and said, "Chocolate chip mint on a waffle cone." The machine happily obliged her, and she started licking the ice cream cone it deposited in her hand. 

"Hey, Keo," Sidan said. "What's up?" 

"Not much," Keolah said, leaning back against a pole. "You know, sometimes I'm glad Time magic has been banned, as it makes looking at the future so much neater. However, it does have its uses." 

"Well, not all Time magic was prevented at least," Sharina said. "Just time travel, and that's the worst of it." 

"Yeah," Ed agreed. "Chronomantic effects which produce speeding and slowing of time within the affected field can be most useful for combative purposes and for such things as holding things in stasis for preservation, like for keeping food fresh and yummy so it doesn't spoil." 

"The very idea of time travel always gave me a headache," Kalixia said. "What if you went back in time and killed your own grandfather?" 

"That isn't actually possible to do, due to the effects of entropy," Keolah explained. "If you go back in time, a new timeline is immediately split off at the point you entered the timeline, thus creating two timelines, one in which you traveled back in time, the other in which you did not, which are otherwise identical in every way. As your actions affect the new timeline you have been deposited in, it will diverge from the original timeline at that point, and become different as the consequences of your actions play out." 

"But what about paradox?" Kalixia said. "I've always heard that was a bad thing." 

"The universe naturally acts to prevent paradox," Keolah went on. "Since paradox is an unnatural thing, it can only be brought about by something happening that could not possibly have happened. Time travel alone can't cause it, because of entropy." 

"But paradox happens, though," Sidan pointed out. "Like, when people turned into metamorphs?" 

Keolah nodded. "Metamorphs are incarnations of pure chaos, and their very creation causes an immediate paradox. They are unnatural beings and the universe balks at their existence, because of their chaotic nature. However, once the paradox occurs, the universe immediately begins to alter itself to fix things. The result is that some of the past may be rewritten to accommodate the new state of affairs." 

"But I thought the past couldn't be changed no matter what," Edminster said. 

"Under normal circumstances, it can't," Keolah said. "Paradox is a special case, and the universe will do anything necessary to right things after one has occurred." 

"I thought Shazmar himself fixed things after a paradox," Sharina commented. 

"Well," Keolah said, "he just might, I suppose. He is, like, God, after all." 

"The universe is an inanimate object," Kalixia said. "How can it fix things on its own? Shazmar must have some hand in it." 

"It's just the way nature works," Keolah said. "Just like how gravity pulls us downward on its own, and souls get reborn on their own." 

"But after the paradox with Angelita's soul, Shazmar popped in and said he was fixing things," Sharina pointed out. "That's when she became a demon, when she'd been an angel before. Because the paradox occurred on her past, and her history had to be rewritten to fix it, and she ended up a demon in the process?" 

"I suppose," Keolah admitted. "I'm not exactly privy to all of Shazmar's inner workings, honestly. I'd like to think that I know more about it than most people, because of my position, but still, it only makes me acutely aware of just how much I don't know. I'm the Master Seeker, and the Avatar of Truth, Faith, and Hope, and even I don't know everything there is to know. Still, there are likely only two people in this universe that know more than me." 

Sharina nodded knowingly. Kalixia asked, "Shazmar, and who is the other?" 

Keolah shrugged. "Rather not say, sorry. I think Sharina knows. But I will tell you, it isn't who you'd expect. Not Ishane or Hawthorne or even Suzcecoz." 

I wondered myself just who it was she was refering to. Adri, perhaps? No, I doubted that. Ah, well, it wasn't important at the moment. I'd find out when I needed to, I suppose. 

"Why does Shazmar always go around looking like a five year old?" Kalixia wondered. "It's not like everyone doesn't know he's God anyway." 

"You'd have to ask him that yourself," Keolah admitted. "Though knowing him, I'd suspect the answer would be somewhere along the lines of 'I felt like it.' Whether that would be his real reason or not is open for debate." 

"I would think Shazmar is powerful enough that he doesn't actually need his physical body to do anything," Sharina commented. 

"Maybe he's just used to it," Sidan suggested. "So it's, like, comfy to him." 

"I have observed that many powerful Elkandu tend to wear bodies much like mensch wear clothes," Edminster added. "So that a particular body may be comfortable to a mage to utilize in their own fashion much like a favorite shirt or undies, or other such duds." 

"Well, I certainly like being an elf," Kalixia said emphatically. "Why would I want to be anything else?" 

"Elves are a good form," Falden agreed. He had been pretty quiet. Perhaps he did not want to get involved in a discussion on Time. 

"Nothing wrong with gnomes," Sidan protested. "Besides their tendancy to like, randomly blow things up and stuff." 

Ed wiggled his rabbit nose. "However, I have also noticed that most Elkandu who possess the capability to take on any form that they wish customarily choose the form of a young adult, mature enough to be fully grown, yet well before middle age, in the prime of their life. Why would a mage choose to take an incomplete and not yet fully grown form? That's bogus." 

"You know what?" Keolah said. "I think we'd better stop this train of conversation. Otherwise, one of us is going to ask what the meaning of life is, and Shazmar will pop in and say that it's for his entertainment or something, and then we'll all be trying to get drunk to forget about him saying that." 

"Hear, hear," Falden said, making a sort of toast with his ice cream cone. 

They went on to make small talk for a while, and a bit later, Theryn headed out of the Stadium again and back to the university. Even though I didn't have a real body anymore, I think I was feeling a bit tired. Perhaps I were merely bored.


	8. Hermaphrodites for the Unity of Many Peoples

Things were boring again at the university the next day. When we got back to the Stadium, I promptly began to skim around to update myself on the goings-on there. Pyroluminescence was playing a nice song about the Demon Wars of Mezulbryst in the background. I was pretty sure Sedder and Min were up to something, but couldn't immediately identify just what, so I went on to take a peek in on the lovely Keolah. 

She was standing around talking with Adri, Harmony, and Ella. They were eating ice cream, as seemed the usual convention in the Stadium. Ella seemed to much like her new form, as it made handling her magic much easier in some cases. 

"What we need to do is get more people into the Chimera Propoganda Party," Keolah said. 

"That name sounds so negative," Ella commented. 

"Yeah, we need to think of something better," Adri admitted. 

"Like maybe, Elkandu for the Promotion and Involvement of Chimerae, or something," Harmony suggested. 

"E.P.I.C. isn't much of a fun and interesting acronym," Keolah said, "How about... Furries for the Utilization of Chimerae for Karma?" 

They stared at her for a moment. "What's a furry?" Ella asked. "We don't have fur. Well, except Harmony, and I'm not sure just what sie's supposed to be at the moment." 

"I'm a cricket-wildebeest-heron-raven," Harmony replied. "For that matter, what's karma?" 

"Karma is an as-yet unproven theory that rebirths are dependent upon your actions in life," Keolah explained. "That if you do good things, you get reborn as something better than if you were a complete jerk." 

"But that makes no sense!" Harmony protested. "Jami was a total jerk and he got reborn as a dark elf!" 

"And dark elves were Cursed, and were almost driven to extinction by war," Keolah said dryly. "Was that really such a good thing to be?" 

"I don't like it," Ella said. "How about, Chimerical Repopulation and Advancement Party?" 

"It wouldn't really be repopulation, since there weren't any out there to begin with," Keolah pointed out. 

Adri said, "How about, Hermaphrodites for the Unity of Many Peoples?" 

They thought about that for a minute. "Well, it's a little vague, but it works," Keolah said. She conjured up a stack of pamphlets and handed them out to the others. 

"Bah, pamphlets never worked to convince anyone," Harmony scoffed. 

"It worked for Tempest, didn't it?" Keolah said. 

"I don't really think the pamphlets and fliers made much difference in our effort to take over the universe," Harmony said. "I think the fact that we practically destroyed all the other factions helped more." 

"Well, still," Keolah said. "They didn't hurt, now did they?" 

"They probably annoyed a few people," Harmony said with what might have been a shrug. "I wonder if they actually converted anyone. I rather doubt it." 

Keolah rolled her eyes. "Okay. Fine. Then what, exactly, would you suggest, then?" 

"Word of mouth always worked for me," Harmony suggested. 

"It hasn't worked for us very well thus far," Adri pointed out. 

"You need to make a more convincing argument," Ella said. "This is great, but the prospect of being a hermaphrodite can be a turn-off at first." 

"Why should it be?" Adri asked. "Are people sexist or something?" 

"Well, no," Ella answered. "It's just different and they aren't too used to the idea yet. It may work best, however, if you first approach people who are known to be bisexual or have been reborn as alternating genders, like me." 

This random water mage was smarter than I'd given her credit for. The others in the group looked a bit impressed by her reasoning as well. They might actually pull this off after all. 

"I can Time-Seek their history and do a quick probe, yes," Keolah said. "That just might do the trick." She glanced down the pamphlets. "But let's at least have some nifty buttons!" A little Alteration magic, and a box full of green button pins appeared in place of the pamphlets. 

Adri pulled one out and looked at it. It read: "H.U.M.P. - Hermaphrodites for the Unity of Many Peoples", and had an odd and strangely suggestive symbol on it. 

Harmony also pulled one out with a claw and peered at it. "What exactly is that supposed to be?" 

Ella grabbed one and looked at it. "It looks like... uh..." 

"It's a flower!" Keolah insisted. "I don't care what your dirty minds seem to think it is." 

Adri giggled, and attached it to her robe. Harmony prosted, "But I don't wear clothes!" 

"That's what telekinetics are for," Keolah said, waving a hand absently. The button firmly attached itself to Harmony's general chest area with a little Motion magic. People don't really need to make gestures to use magic, but I suppose Keolah just likes to make it clear she's the one doing things, so people that can't see weaves don't freak out over it. 

Ella and Keolah also pinned the buttons to their vests. Ella asked, "What about the other two chimerae here? Rukaba and Eshryn, I think their names were." 

"We'll go find them and tell them the plan and give them their own buttons," Keolah said. "Let's get to it. I'll find some likely candidates." 

The four of them walked off in the general direction of the other two chimerae. They found them hanging around near a beer dispenser in the opposite corner from Pyroluminescence. Eshryn and Rukaba waved as they approached. 

"Hello, Keolah," Rukaba said brightly. 

"Hey," Keolah said. "We've come up with a plan of action on how to promote the chimerae among the Elkandu." 

"Oh?" Rukaba said. Her face was unreadable, but she wasn't really that interested in it. 

Keolah handed H.U.M.P. buttons to the two chimerae, who looked at them oddly and pinned them to their collars. Keolah explained, "Okay, what we're going to do is that we're going to find people with naturally bisexual tendancies who will not be objected to being hermaphrodites." 

Rukaba said, with a touch of disappointment in her tone, "I was really hoping to win the Matter competition and wish for a custom plane populated by chimerae." 

Harmony frowned. Or at least it looked like a frown. It was difficult to tell with that sort of face. "Shazmar said the wishes he is giving out this competition are 'minor wishes'. Will they still cover a custom plane?" 

"Yes," said Shazmar's voice from a speaker over their heads. 

Ella jumped a bit. "Isn't it unnerving to constantly have the feeling of being watched? Almost as if your every action were merely entertainment to some being?" 

"We prefer not to dwell on that," Keolah told her. 

"So I'll be able to wish for a custom plane, then?" Rukaba asked. 

"If that's what you want, yes," Keolah answered. "Though we could probably duplicate the same conditions without Shazmar's assistance, anyway." 

"Oh," Rukaba said. "But then, what would be a good thing to wish for? What is difficult or impossible to obtain otherwise?" 

"A little premature to be tallying your wishes, isn't it?" Ella said. 

"Especially considering your current record is one-one," Eshryn added. 

"I'm speaking hypothetically, of course," Rukaba said. "I still may be able to pull off a victory in Matter, and the Elemental event hasn't taken place yet either." 

"A custom plane isn't really such a bad wish," Keolah said. "Though it would be more useful with a time acceleration field over it, so that we could test the viability of the species over the long term. I can do time acceleration fields, but only to around the rate of ten to one. For longer term study, a faster field would be necessary, provided we want the results this century." 

Rukaba looked indignant for a moment. Were the chimerae merely an experiment to Keolah, she thought? But sie calmed quickly. "An enchantment over the plane so that time moves faster there? That would be a good idea, yes. That would allow them sufficient time to develop their own unique culture, yes..." 

"Failing that, there are others here with pending wishes," Keolah said, looking meaningfully to Harmony. 

"Hey, I just want to make sure he'll get it right this time!" Harmony protested. "And I still want a refund off my first wish." 

"Fine," Shazmar's voice said from the speaker again. 

"Thank you," Harmony said. 

I had to wonder why Shazmar chimed in on the minor questions and stayed quiet when anything important was brought up. Perhaps he was just teasing them. 

"What's the difference between a major wish and a minor wish if even a minor wish can create an entire plane?" Eshryn wondered. 

"I just like making planes," the speaker emitted again. "It's fun and productive." 

"But what's the difference, then?" Eshryn pressed. 

"Practically nothing," the voice replied. "I just like to head off some of the stupider wishes by claiming minor wishes aren't strong enough to grant it." 

"Like turning all the humans in the universe into elephant-moose-goat-emus?" Harmony said with a sort of smirk. 

"Yes. Like that," Shazmar's voice said dryly. "Though, it seems most uncreative people have just been wishing for power or something." 

"Not much point in wishing for a nifty magic sword if you can wish for the ability to create lots of nifty magic swords," Harmony said toward the ceiling. 

"Hmm, I see your point," Shazmar said. "Should I then limit wishes for power?" 

"That might be a good idea," Keolah said. "At least for those minor wishes, limited to one power per wish. No sense in having people walking around with powers they didn't even really earn." 

"But if they've worked hard for years to prepare for the competition, have they really not earned them?" Ella asked. 

Rukaba argued, "If a person won an event once, and kept wishing for skill and power, couldn't they then ensure themselves to winning indefinitely, thereby preventing anyone else from gaining those wishes?" 

"That's a point," Harmony said. "But if they can wish for it at all, won't that still give them the advantage?" 

"You just want to ensure you keep winning Flesh and Alteration," Keolah chided her gently. 

"Bah, if anyone earned it, they'd beat me," Harmony scoffed. "I've never wished for power. Never needed to, never wanted to." 

"You wished to be able to project your magic again, though," Keolah pointed out. 

"Well, yeah," Harmony said. "That's different. My magic got slightly altered after the incident with Maple and I had to touch people in order to change them. That was irritating. I only wanted to fix that little problem." 

"Sure you did," Keolah said with a smile. 

Rukaba asked, "Are there other ways to earn power other than to be born with it or wish for it?" 

Keolah nodded, pursing her lips. "Yes, there are ways. Using magic often can strengthen your ability to use it, for one." 

"If I'm going to stop wishes for power," Shazmar said, "would I then therefore not have to stop wishes for magical gems?" 

There was the clincher. If someone wished for a custom plane full of magical gems and magic books, they could become extremely powerful, with just a little more work at it. 

"Where do you draw the line?" Keolah said, sighing. "And if they're too restricted, nobody's going to bother with them." 

"I don't know about you," Rukaba said, "but I would certainly compete for even so simple as a useful magical item." 

"But any enchanter can create magical items," Keolah protested. "What's the point of imposing on Shazmar for that?" 

"It isn't an imposition," Shazmar said. "Though I do wonder if people realize the price of power." 

"Price?" Harmony wondered. 

"That when a powerful Elkandu dies, their soul could break apart in the rebirth process," Shazmar explained. 

Harmony's eyes bulged in surprise. What was this? I had never heard of such a thing before. Could that be why extremely powerful mages at birth were also extremely rare? Adri looked equally surprised, and also a bit pensive. 

"How powerful?" Rukaba asked. "And what exactly are the effects when that happens?" 

"Well, it's simple," Shazmar said through the speaker. "Their soul breaks into two or more pieces, the memories being divided between each one, not necessarily evenly. Each piece then gets reborn as a separate person. And the power level before that would happen is a good deal higher than yours, the higher it gets the more chance of it happening and the more pieces it could break into. Did you really not know that?" 

"I didn't know that," Rukaba said, glancing at Keolah for any indication that she had. Keolah's face was neutral, however, betraying nothing. 

"So the people who wished for power may not realize that that could happen?" Shazmar said. "Dear me, I had better tell them." 

"But if they're that powerful," Harmony said, "what are the chances of them actually dying? I mean, look at me. Ten thousand years, without a single death or rebirth. It's easy to keep going when you don't go and do anything particularly stupid." 

"The Wheel of Chaos incident wasn't stupid?" Keolah said wryly. 

"Hey, that wasn't my fault," Harmony protested. "Rhuan was mind-controlling me!" 

Theryn went up to Keolah then and handed her my scabbard, but my full attention was on their conversation, and I ignored her forthcoming battle. 

"I don't know if people would really want excessive power if they knew that could happen," Keolah said. "Unless they were confident that they'd not die anytime soon anyway." 

"Why do people stop aging for no apparent reason, anyway?" Ella asked. "Most of the mages I've known just stopped getting older around their mid-twenties." 

"We used to think it was some sort of connection to Time magic," Keolah answered, "but now we're not so sure, since no Time magic has been detected on most of them." 

They looked expectantly upward, but the mystical voice from above did not deign to answer them this time. Perhaps he was busy, however unlikely that might be. Maybe he just didn't see any need to explain this part. 

"Maybe he doesn't know either," Harmony suggested with a smirk. 

Theryn came back from the recovery room to retrieve me. "How'd you do?" Keolah asked her as she handed me over. 

"I beat Lena in Rock," Theryn said, strapping me onto her back again. "It was very close, though." 

"Good job," Eshryn said. 

"Thanks," Theryn said with a smile, then headed for the exit to the Stadium. 

I rather wanted to stay and hear where the conversation went, but I sighed to myself and merely mulled over the strange revelations they had brought about. If what they said was true, even if I wanted to be reborn, I could not now without the danger that I wouldn't come out in one piece. I was far too powerful to expect to make it through rebirth intact. There had always been that option for me to just give up on the sword and make a new life for myself, but now, it wasn't there anymore. Somehow it made me feel much more trapped than I'd felt before.


	9. More Dangerous Than a Bored Mage

The Teleportation event was scheduled for the next day. I wasn't all that interested in watching, really, even though Azale would be competing. I wanted to see what Sedder and Min were up to, for starters. I found them not doing anything, but from the amused looks on their faces, it seems they had done something and were just waiting for it to come to fruit. 

Keolah and her H.U.M.P. cohorts were again attempting to spread the word about chimerae. With their more selective judgments, they appeared to be having rather more success, as several new chimerae were going around with the H.U.M.P. buttons and telling people about it. 

Ella ended up going up to Pyroluminescence, and ran into Ishane there. Ishane peered at her button and asked, "What exactly is H.U.M.P.?" 

"Hermaphrodites for the Unity of Many Peoples," Ella said proudly. 

"A new faction?" the leader of Tempest asked, raising an eyebrow. 

"Oh, no no, nothing like that," Ella reassured him. "We're simply trying to promote the chimerae and hermaphroditism." 

"I see," Ishane said. "What are chimerae?" 

Ella launched into an obviously pre-rehearsed description of just what the chimerae were. Ishane listened, seeming only half-interested. I doubted that he'd see a bunch of freaks of nature as a threat to his position as ruler of the universe. Not that he could have really stopped Keolah if she had had a mind to oppose him in the first place. 

"I'm sure if you want to be a chimera, Keolah or Harmony will oblige," Ella said. "I think they're over there somewhere--" 

"I don't want to be a chimera," Ishane said calmly. "I am quite happy being a tepper." 

"Oh. Well. Okay," Ella said. "But I'll not turn away anyone else that wants to be one." 

"Sure, I'll be one," said one of the members of Pyroluminescence. His long bright pink hair and clothing alone made it rather difficult to tell that he was male, but he was. 

"Great, great," Ella said happily. "They're over... there... I think." She pointed off randomly in the general direction of Keolah's present location. 

"I'll find them," the pink-haired man said with a grin, nodding to the other band members and getting up to locate her. A quick peek in his mind told me that his name was Alfame, and he was a Motion mage. He could sing and play the piano and he secretly had a liking for bagpipes as well, but they weren't particularly useful in a power metal band. 

"Is that really necessary?" Tahnmilot said, poking me mentally. 

"Well, maybe he'll be important later. You never know," I replied. 

"And maybe he'll sit around quietly doing nothing except playing the piano and we'll never hear of him again," Tahnmilot said. "He's just a Motion mage. A chauffeur! He's nobody important." 

Alfame went over to Keolah and waved to her. "Hey, that merfolk over there was talking about these chimerae things, and said you were the one that could change me?" 

Keolah smiled at him and handed him a H.U.M.P. button. "What sort of form would you prefer?" 

"Oh, I don't know. What kind is available?" 

"Just about anything you can think of," Keolah told him. 

"Well, then, maybe something like what I am now, but with naturally pink hair, and four arms," Alfame said. "Four hands would let me get some groovy chords on the piano." 

"Sure thing," Keolah said. She channeled Alteration magic, and his body shifted, a new pair of arms growing from his sides. 

Alfame looked down at his four arms and grinned broadly. "Totally radical! Thanks." 

"Be sure to spread the word," Keolah said. 

"I will," Alfame said, and headed back over to where the band was. 

Back over with Pyroluminescence, the drummer was swearing at a duck. "This little feathered freak just took a dump on my drums!" 

Hmm, that was odd. I distinctly remember that all the birds had been unnaturally created to not produce any waste products. But a quick scan around the Stadium indicated that this was true for all the birds here now, and similar incidents were playing out elsewhere. Judging by the mad giggling of the two demons over in the corner, I figured it was another of their pranks. 

Dante was apparently none too happy with the situation, and he went over to confront Sedder and Min. "What have you done to my birds?" 

"Oh, I didn't do anything at all to hurt them!" Sedder protested. "I just fixed them." 

"Fixed them?" Dante said. "There was nothing wrong with them." 

"Certainly there was," Sedder said. "They were most unhealthy. They were unnatural beings with no method for the proper disposal of waste products." 

"Now they're unnatural beings that poop on everything," Min said brightly. 

A bird flew over Dante's head and made a delivery on his scalp. Dante folded his arms across his chest and calmly made the excrement disappear. Sedder stood there smiling innocently, rocking on his heels. "Would you rather mind not making them do that on me at least?" 

Sedder looked shocked. "I would never do such a thing! I'm not controlling them at all!" 

A falcon flew past and dumped its load on top of Sedder's head. Dante gave a small smile and walked off, leaving him standing there. After he was out of sight, Sedder destroyed the crap on his head with a quick spell. Min giggled at him. 

"I'm not resorting to bathroom humor, damnit," Sedder muttered in irritation. 

"Let's think of something else to do," Min suggested. 

I turned my attention away from them for the time being and looked to see how Hawthorne was doing now. She looked calm, but she radiated annoyance and frustration, as well as a good deal of despair. It seems that the Evocation event had not been going in her favor. A quick look at the scores indicated that she had lost a match to Sidan this morning, putting her at one win to two losses. That didn't bode well, as Edminster had three wins in Evocation now. 

"I'm not going to win Evocation," Hawthorne said dejectedly, sighing. 

Riartan tried to reassure her, "You'll give it your best shot." 

Hawthorne shook her head. "I'm not going to win. No matter what I do. That damned rabbit will beat me anyway. He's too good." 

"He's gone to the university and learned about the Cruces. Maybe you should do likewise." 

"I've avoided it the last several years," Hawthorne said. I didn't doubt that was out of pride. "But you may well be right about that. What's the point, though, if I can't even use my own magic?" 

"Maybe you should ask Keolah to release your magic so that you can use it again," Riartan suggested. 

I could clearly see the soul bond between them, with Hawthorne in control of the link. No doubt that was how she was still able to use magic without a focus. In fact, I think I remember just when Hawthorne bonded him. It was in the Abyss, right after she had become a demon, and Riartan could not get angry enough to Descend on his own. The bond seems to have remained even after their conversion to angelhood. Ah, poor Hawthorne. I almost regret abandoning her at the worst possible moment for her, that caused her to be taken prisoner on Dante's world. But I could not stand by and allow the persecution of those angels. I couldn't allow my power to be used for evil. 

"Hypocrite," Tahnmilot said lightly. 

"Shut up." 

Hawthorne had, apparently, taken up Riartan on his suggestion and was heading over toward Keolah now. She was wandering around with her box of H.U.M.P. buttons and talking to people again, trying to convince them that chimerae were great. I noticed that the various birds were starting to disappear from the Stadium. 

"Hey, Hawthorne," Keolah said to her as she approached. "You want to be a chimera?" 

"Erm, a what?" Hawthorne asked. 

"Oh, you can change on your own, I could just send you the pattern so you can turn into one whenever you want," Keolah said in an off-hand manner, channeling a bit of Mind magic. 

Hawthorne blinked for a moment. "Oh. That's what a chimera is. Is that what you and Adrienna have been up to for the last several years?" 

"That's right," Keolah said brightly, offering her a H.U.M.P. button. 

Hawthorne took it and looked at it oddly, then giggled. "What is that supposed to be?" 

"That's a flower, damnit!" Keolah said indignantly. "You people and your dirty minds." 

"Speak for yourself," Hawthorne said with a grin, pinning the button to her shirt. "But that wasn't what I came over here to talk to you about." 

"What's up?" 

"Well, remember back when you tied my magic off after the little Abyss incident on Mezulbryst that wasn't entirely my fault anyway?" Hawthorne explained. 

"Considering the fact that you were always accidentally summoning confetti and setting yourself on fire, I figured it was for your own good," Keolah said wryly. 

Hawthorne rolled her eyes. "I can control magic just fine without a focus. I've been doing it without any trouble ever since I bonded Riartan." 

"But it's not your own magic, it's his." 

"Look, I'll be fine. Just give me a chance, please?" Hawthorne insisted. 

I was surprised that she had actually said please, and Keolah seemed to be as well. "Alright," Keolah said. "I may regret this later, but I'll do it." 

Hawthorne beamed happily. Keolah concentrated for several long moments, channeling and carefully removing the block. When it was done, Hawthorne embraced her magic and lifted herself off the ground telekinetically just to see that it worked. Then she embraced Keolah instead. Ooh, will I get to see hot lesbian action? 

"Is that all you ever think about?" Tahnmilot asked in irritation. 

"Of course not," I replied. 

Hawthorne was almost skipping when she went back over to Riartan, and gave him a passionate smooch on the lips. He grinned and said, "I take it you succeeded?" She nodded cheerfully. He then looked at her H.U.M.P. button and said, "Is that a group or a suggestion?" 

She looked down at it and laughed aloud. "Keolah's latest crazy scheme, I suppose. I'm just humoring her." 

There was the sound of a bell, and Shazmar's voice announced, "The Teleportation event is about to begin." 

People's attention turned toward the group of mages which had been teleported into the arena. They were lined up in a row, spaced five meters apart. At one side of the arena was a chute with beer cans in it, with a stop to allow only one beer can to be reachable at once, and allow another one to slide down into place once that one was removed. At the opposite side of the arena was another chute sloping down into another box with an opening. 

"The participants will have ten minutes to teleport as many cans of beer from the chute into the depository on the opposite side of the arena. Their feet are held in place telekinetically and the tube itself is warded against teleportation, so that they will need to move them one at a time. Yes, what is it, Alfame?" 

The pink-haired Motion mage was waving his hand in the air to get Shazmar's attention. He asked, "Do we get to drink the beer afterward?" 

Shazmar sighed softly. "Yes, Alfame, you can drink the beer afterward. You may begin." 

The lights shifted and the dampening field went down. The Travellers immediately began magically moving the beer cans from one end of the arena to the other, some of them needing to snatch them into their hand first and send it off from there, others able to do it directly. Valarian even attempted to set up a small portal to let the beer cans roll down on their own to the other chute, with some success. He did get a number of cans across before he lost his concentration and couldn't hold the portal open any longer. Azale was also doing quite well, his cans blinking across the arena rapidly without stopping inbetween. 

But the real surprise during this event was Alfame. He -- or I suppose I should say sie now -- was practically summoning four at a time, grabbing them with his four hands, and then teleporting them off across the arena. It was such a dizzying juggling act that it was difficult to follow all the little threads of mana he was channeling. 

After several minutes, the lights shifted again, and the dampening field went up, preventing them from sending any more cans across. There were beer cans laying on the ground around some people's chutes, as they'd missed the mark. Precision teleportation can be difficult to the inexperienced. 

"I will now announce the winners," Shazmar said. He rattled off several names, most of which I'd never heard of, before coming to the top three, who were well ahead of the others. "In third place, with two hundred and fifteen cans of beer, Valarian Nightbringer." 

The dark elf took a bow. It was quite an accomplishment to him, as he'd never been that good at this sort of thing, in spite of having been an inborn Traveller. 

"In second place, with two hundred and twenty eight cans of beer, Azale Riftgazer Shadowhand." 

Azale, on the other hand, looked rather disappointed. After all the practice he'd done with precise teleportation, he had been the one expected to win this match. 

"In first place, and the winner of the Teleportation event, with two hundred and thirty four cans of beer, is Alfame Tratch." 

Alfame, looking quite pleased with himself, gave a flourish with all four of his hands and bowed to the wildly cheering spectators. Most of them knew him as the pianist from Pyroluminescence, and hence his appearance was greeted with a good deal of fanaticism and popularity. I hadn't really expected him to pull out this well, however. There were always surprises at the competitions, though, and sometimes the person least expected to win ended up coming out on top. There was really no way to know until they got into the arena, and that's what made it exciting. I bet if Shazmar actually charged admittance to these things, he'd be rich. Not that he actually needs money anyway, as he could just conjure all the money he wants anyway if he really wanted it for some reason, but still. 

The participants were teleported out of the arena, and several of them immediately went to pick up the beer they had been promised. Alfame, for one, was going to celebrate. Pyroluminescence played a loud, glorious song for his victory, and the lead singer made up some lyrics on the spot to honor him. I suspect, however, that he just took an existing song and inserted Alfame's name into it somewhere. 

Meanwhile, Hawthorne was over having a good deal of fun with her newly unlocked power. Keolah looked over to her warily and said to Adri, "I hope she doesn't hurt herself or anyone with that. She's more dangerous than a bored mage." 

Adri giggled. "Maybe she's learned her lesson now." 

"I do hope so."


	10. Swimming With the Merfolk

It was a Saturday in the university today, so Theryn went out early to the competition, much to my delight. I don't know how I'll be able to stand another seven years of sitting around that musty old school. I didn't know how Theryn could stand it. She always claimed that she was a woman of action, and preferred to explore the world and see the sights of the universe than sit around home and do nothing but crochet or something. She was over three hundred years old, and like most Elkandu, had the appearance of a woman in her early twenties, and was quite proud of that appearance and happy about the way she looked, even though she was actually a crossbreed of a wood elf and a dark elf, and thus had the pale skin of a wood elf coupled with the silvery hair of a dark elf. 

I had to wonder to myself again why I had chosen her as the True Heir of the Children of the Dragon's Blood this time. Well, it wasn't really the True Heir, as that was Hawthorne, since she hadn't yet died and was still bound to me. But it was an heir nonetheless, and my current bearer. At the time, Theryn had been one of the most good-hearted Dragonbloods around, and actually active in events. I wanted to actually take part in those events, and not from the side of the demons that Hawthorne had chosen, and thus I went to Theryn. Was that a mistake? She hadn't yet actually done anything to warrant being abandoned like Hawthorne had done, so I couldn't just leave her without her consent. 

I scanned around the Stadium to see what Sedder and Min were up to, putting my discontent with Theryn's present situation out of my mind. They were clearly up to something again, but were being pretty opaque about it. They must have set something up and were waiting for it to be sprung on the hapless spectators of the Stadium. I was eager to see what the result would be. 

Hawthorne was a good deal more cheerful today now that she could use her natural powers again without having to rely on Riartan's magic. It was too late for her to actually sign up for any other events than Evocation, but she was making the most of it while she could anyway. It was strange to see a person who was so upset about losing their main event to be so happy. Did it really bother her so much to have not been able to use her power? How helpless she must have felt then when Azale had taken me from her before she bonded Riartan. Poor Hawthorne. At least she won't be subjected to that again. 

Judging by the increasing number of chimerae around the Stadium, and people wearing H.U.M.P. buttons, it appeared that Keolah's campaign was growing more successful. Perhaps targetting their marketing in such a way was actually being much more beneficial than the haphazard methods they had been using before. The best way is to know who you're advertising to, and there's no better way to know them than to probe their mind and find out just what will be most convincing. 

"It's pretty rude to just poke around in their head, though," Tahnmilot commented. 

"It's not like most people will ever know, Tahnmilot," I said with a sigh. "And haven't we gone over this before?" 

"Hmph, you don't like Hawthorne's actions as a demon, but you'll violate people's privacy without regard to them?" Tahnmilot said. 

"That's different." 

"Sure, and I'm sure Jami and all would say the same thing, too," Tahnmilot went on. 

I sighed mentally. I didn't want to explain my actions to some long-dead relative of mine. "Tahnmilot--" 

"Like you are any better, Zarnith," he said. "And you've been dead for longer than me anyway." 

It's very difficult to think anything bad about people who are in your mind. "Look, if you don't like it--" 

"Now you see the point, I think," Tahnmilot said. "You want to think things about me without me knowing, but you can't, because I'm right here and I hear everything you think. It's the same deal with those people there you are probing." 

"They want to think bad things about me?" 

"No, no, no," Tahnmilot continued. "You're missing the point. How do you like it for your privacy to be violated like that? How do you like me listening in on every single thing you are thinking?" 

"I could just cut you loose, you know," I said. "Then you won't have to put up with me anymore." And I won't have to put up with him. 

"After what we've just learned happens to powerful mages when they get reborn? I think not." 

"Then quit bothering me already and shut up." 

Tahnmilot went quiet, thankfully. I breathed a mental sigh of relief and turned my attention back to the Stadium. Ishane was out casually reclinined naked near Pyroluminescence, beer in hand. People looked at him oddly and many of them carefully avoided going near him without trying to look like they were avoiding it. It wasn't because he was naked, really, but because he was a naked tepper. People still have difficulty getting over their fears and prejudices, and from a tepper, bare skin is like an open threat. 

Then, he got up and went over toward Sedder, who was standing by Min and staring intently off toward another part of the arena. He didn't seem to notice Ishane approach. Somewhere in the distance, there was the sound of splashing water, and Sedder and Min giggled. Ishane cleared his throat. 

Sedder looked to him and bowed his head. "Hey." 

Ishane said to him sternly, "Your Chaos has been lacking lately." He was clearly joking around. 

"Eh? I thought my water trick was quite clever." 

Ishane blinked. "Sorry. Water trick? Exploding toilets now, are we?" 

I had to wonder if Elkandu ever actually used toilets. Sedder shook his head and casually pointed to a spot of floor near where they were standing. Ishane leaned back onto nothing and looked in that direction. As a random mage walked past the floor beneath her feet seemed to suddenly not support her anymore, and she fell though the floor. There was a splash, and some water flew up through the floor. 

Ishane tsked. "Sedder, that's absolutely stupid. You have to use illusion so nobody sees the people fall. Otherwise, people will catch on." 

"Oh, they don't. But wouldn't it be pointless if we couldn't see it from here?" Sedder said innocently. 

"Thought of everything, haven't you." 

"I spent all night setting this up," Sedder said. 

Ishane glanced at Min. "All night?" 

"Well... Most of it." Sedder giggled. 

"Half an hour, knowing you. Nice, though," said Ishane. "Not that water ever hurt anybody." 

"No, but the palistelli might." 

"Not that people can get hurt here anyway." 

"They weren't overly impressed about us turning the water section into vodka the other day," Sedder went on. 

Ishane blinked. "Drunken fish? Why didn't I hear of this? You have the means to turn hundreds of gallons of water to vodka and didn't tell me?" 

"Oh, you did, you came over and asked us what was going on..." Sedder said innocently. "I just borrowed Lexen for a while." 

"And why are the fish no longer drunk?" Ishane asked. 

"Keolah made us turn it back," Sedder explained. 

Ishane sighed. "Can't argue with her, unfortunately." 

"Yeah, apparently it didn't make them drunk, it just killed them." 

"Well yes, pure alcohol does that," Ishane said. "It's an effect of the stuff I never quite understood, I admit." 

"I suppose somebody must have gotten down there and healed them, since now the palistelli are all riled up about it," Sedder said. "Silly shark-men." 

"Most palistelli aren't telepaths," Ishane commented. 

"And they're also so stupid that they don't know who was responsible," Sedder went on. 

"They might just be subtly convinced that the people dropping so unkindly into their environment were responsible for yesterday's doings, hmm?" 

"And thus anyone that gets dumped into the water..." Sedder was grinning wickedly now. 

"You've thought of everything," said Ishane. "What's next on your list of fun doings?" 

"Don't know. I'm running out of interesting things to do. I thought of filling the Stadium with jazma flowers, but decided against it." 

"Why's that?" Ishane asked. "Flowers are fun. Thorny, poisoned flowers are fun." 

"Well, jazma flowers have interesting effects on elves and humans," Sedder explained. "See, it makes elves irritable and cranky, but it acts as a narcotic for humans." 

"And then why aren't you doing this?" 

"I'd rather not piss off Dante," Sedder said quietly. "Though I don't see why flowers would piss him off, and half-elves aren't affected anyway." 

"Dante?" said Ishane. "He's a hard chap to piss off, on a whole." 

Sedder said, "I don't think he was too happy about the birds." 

"They made quite a mess of the band equipment." 

"Ah, not like it's hard to get rid of," Sedder said lightly. 

"It's still damned irritating," Ishane told him. "Next time, please gently convince them that the band area is off-limits." 

"Okay." 

Ishane stretched. "Try not to piss off anyone powerful with your schemes, though. They might get annoyed at me. I don't feel like having Keolah roast me on a spit." 

"I prefer not to, yes," Sedder said. "It's unhealthy." 

"You need to make pranks to target specific people," Ishane told him. "Study them, find something that will piss the hell out of them, and do it." 

"Mmm..." Sedder nodded. "All these mibis around with no telepathic protection." 

It was a bit strange to hear a group of some of the most powerful mages in the universe refered to as mibis. That term was usually used to refer to people with no real magic. 

"Telepathy is fun, yes," Ishane said. "You can have any personnel you need. I'd like to help, too. Bloody mibis. I'm sure Streyka's available if you want her, too." 

Sedder nodded. "Speech can cause plenty of interesting problems. Is it just me, or was she singing 'Tempest is great' the other day?" 

"She was," Ishane said, grinning. 

Sedder chuckled. "Just hope Keolah doesn't convince her to join whatever it is is going on with those H.U.M.P. buttons. Don't want everyone looking like Harmony." 

Ishane grunted. "Stupid thing if you ask me. Enough normal races to keep straight. At least she hasn't teamed up with Dante. He'd conjure the bloody things by the dozen." 

"Indeed." Sedder snickered. 

"I do recommend doing the jazma flowers, though," Ishane said. "Just warn me first." 

Sedder nodded slightly. "I don't think they affect teppers anyway." 

"Even if they do." He shrugged. "Just glad I'm not a bloody elf. No offense." 

Sedder chuckled. "Better make sure to keep them away from Hawthorne, though. Though it's a moot point as there'll be so much pollen in the air it'd take wards to control it anyway." 

"Hawthorne? Eh. She's alright," Ishane said. "Even though she married that Darkhammer boy. I don't think it counts though, because she bonded him." 

"Didn't he join Tempest after all?" Sedder asked "Eventually," Ishane answered. "Under pressure." 

"True," Sedder said. "Doubt he'll be causing any problems, though." 

"As I said, Hawthorne bonded him. He's no problem." 

Sedder nodded in agreement. "Yeah." 

"Maybe tip Keolah off so she's elsewhere when you do it," Ishane suggested "Better to not annoy her." 

"Simple," Sedder explained, "I'll put some inverted selective wards around the people I don't want affected by the pollen, designed to keep it out." 

"Excellent," said Ishane approvingly. "Carry on, then." He walked off. 

Sedder continued to amuse himself dunking people, and I took the liberty to turn my attention elsewhere for the moment. Hawthorne was skipping around cheerfully when she ran into Sidan and Edminster. 

"Hey, hey, Hawmeister!" Sidan said brightly. 

Hawthorne blinked for a moment at the name, and then started giggling. "Hi." 

"Have you observed the lowdown as of yet?" Ed asked. 

Hawthorne looked oddly at him. "Observed the -- Whaaa?" 

"We're spreading the news about mensch," Sidan explained. "It seems they can learn to channel after all." 

"Mensch? Channel?" Hawthorne looked confused for a moment, then indignant. "Why can mensch learn to channel but I couldn't?" 

"Well, it seems there's no real difference, except that they're like, not inborn with any talents," Sidan said. 

"So it operates exactly like a mage acquiring talents they weren't inborn with, dudette," Ed said. 

Hawthorne thought about this for a moment. "So you mean all those silly mibis going around saying funny words and wiggling their fingers to make magic happen aren't so far off the mark after all?" 

"The chanted spells and gestures merely act as a focus in order to allow for easier use of magic and stuff," Ed explained. "They assist in achieving the effect of channeling, but once attained, are not actually necessary." 

"I couldn't channel without a focus for fifteen years," Hawthorne said flatly. "Damn Keolah." 

"Due to a mental or magical block?" Ed asked. 

"I don't know," Hawthorne said. "Magical, most likely. Keolah was never all that good with Mind magic. But damn she could tie a knot only Sardill could have undone." 

"But it's been like, removed now?" Sidan said. 

Hawthorne nodded. "Just yesterday, and quite glad for it too." She smiled broadly. "So now that you know mensch can learn magic, what are you going to do about it? Run around and tell everyone?" 

They nodded. Ed said, "It would be most ideal to begin allowing mensch to attend the university and thereby gain knowledge of magical theory and methods." 

"The university will have to be expanded," Sidan said. 

Shazmar's voice piped up through a speaker overhead. "Yes, I'll be moving the university to a custom plane after this competition. Otherwise there won't be much water left on the Plane of Water after we're done with it." 

"Hey, Shazzlepuff," Sidan said. "So you'll be like, putting the islands back like they were before?" 

It never ceased to amaze me how Shazmar never seemed to mind being called such odd terms. "Yeah," Shazmar replied. 

"I'm sure the natives will appreciate that," Hawthorne commented. She wandered off again. 

Theryn had another match in Creation today. She went up again Calring, and lost terribly. I hadn't really expected her to have been able to defeat the woman who had created the moons and suns of the planes, although that had been admittedly with my power. Theryn was, nonetheless, a bit dejected about it all. Since it was a weekend, however, rather than returning to the university, Theryn went over to hang out with Catalina, Sharina, and Kalixia instead. 

"Hey," she said to them. She turned to the ice cream dispenser and said, "Cherry Chocolate Caramel on a waffle cone." The machine obediently delivered an ice cream cone to her. 

"Hey, Theryn," Kalixia said, licking her own ice cream cone. "How you doing?" 

"I'm doing rather well in the Rock event, but not so well in Creation, and I've won the one Time match I've been in so far," Theryn said. "How about the rest of you?" 

"Thus far I'm undefeated in both Light and Energy," Sharina said. That wasn't any big surprise. I had to wonder if her or Sedder would come out on top in Light, however. She was also up against some tough competition in Energy, with both Dante and Sannari in there. 

"I'm not doing very well in Plant," Kalixia said. "I really need to learn to do my magic without humming anymore. I keep getting distracted and then the plants won't do what I want." 

"Also undefeated, in Mind," Catalina said. "Not that that's any surprise. With Jami gone, Ishane's the only one with a chance to beat me." 

"What about Azale?" Theryn asked. 

"I've already beaten him," Catalina answered. "He's also lost to Suzcecoz, so I doubt he'll be in the running for winner." 

"Suzy's pretty good, too, though," Theryn said. 

Catalina shrugged. "She's lost her share of matches as well. Won't beat me." 

Kalixia finished up her ice cream cone and returned to get another. "Breadfruit Tart and Eggs Benedict on a waffle cone." With a clunk-clunk sound, the machine deposited a couple scoops onto the cone and handed it to her with its robotic arm. 

"How many ice cream flavors have you gone through so far, Kalixia?" Theryn asked. 

"Fifty one thousand, one hundred and sixteen," Kalixia answered. The others stared at her in disbelief. 

"I wasn't even aware that many flavors of ice cream even existed," Theryn commented. 

"Oh, there's over three million flavors available here," Kalixia said. "At the presnet rate I'm going, it will only take me about eight hundred more years to eat them all." 

"You've gone and calculated all this?" Theryn wondered, her eyes wide. 

"Oh, no, no," Kalixia said with a light laugh. "I have the arena computer keep track of it for me." 

"The arena what?" Theryn blinked. "Some sort of mathematics spell?" 

Kalixia shook her head. "It's a nifty machine, and it does all sorts of stuff." 

"A counting machine. Okay." Theryn shrugged. 

Off to the side, there was the sound of a muffled squeak and a splash. Hmm, I had to wonder, if Sedder had really put illusions over the people he was dunking so that nobody caught on, why was it that I picked up on them? 

Catalina yawned. "Hmm, there's a pool around here? Sounds like a good idea. Anyone else want to go for a dip?" 

"Oh, that sounds relaxing," Theryn said. "I wonder if there's a jacuzzi around here, too." 

"Ice cream and hottubs!" Kalixia said excitedly. "That sounds delightful!" 

The three elvish women and one tepper went off to locate a hottub. I wondered if now I would get to see some hot lesbian action. That's definitely one advantage of modern Elkandu staying twenty-five forever. The ladies did eventually find a nice heated pool, and promptly went skinny dipping. Woo! 

"This situation is so hopeless I'm not even going to comment on it," Tahnmilot said dryly. 

"That's still a comment," I told him. 

I didn't even much mind being left on the side of the pool with Theryn's clothing. Man, this Stadium was nice. It had all the modern conveniences. As the nude women soaked in the warm water, Ishane approached, still naked himself, carrying a can of beer. 

"Well, hello, ladies," Ishane said. 

That was when I realized it. An Elkandu isn't naked when they don't have any clothes on. An Elkandu is naked when they aren't carrying an ice cream cone or can of beer. This startling revelation suddenly made quite a few things clear to me. 

Theryn waved to him cheerfully. "Hey, Ishane." 

"Mind if I join you?" 

"Hop right in," Catalina drawled seductively. Not that she really needed to seduce him, since she was his girlfriend anyway. Or one of them, at least. 

Ishane put down his beer on the edge of the pool and slid into the water. Theryn said, "Hate to spoil the party, but I'd best be getting off to sleep soon." 

"Ah, you don't need to sleep," Sharina said. "Waste of time, if you ask me. I've known people that have gone for several months without sleep." 

"Well, I would," Theryn said, "but I'd rather like to be well awake and ready for the Shaping event tomorrow." 

Catalina grunted. "You'll need all the help you can get to beat Dante. Sleep well." 

Theryn pulled her pale body out of the water and dried herself off with a quick spell, water slicking out of her long, silvery hair and flowing back into the pool. She put her clothes back on, picked me up again, and went back to the university.


	11. Like a Three Ring Circus

Theryn certainly would need all the help she could get to win Shaping. Considering Dante's skill and power, I didn't think she actually stood much chance against him. She was pretty good at conjuration, to be sure, but she mostly cheated with it and used her inborn Time magic to augment it instead. Could she really muster up the strength to win at pure Creation? 

I skimmed around the Stadium. There weren't any jazma flowers growing around, so apparently Sedder had not yet implemented this scheme. I did, however, find Keolah talking to a couple other members of H.U.M.P.. 

"Why don't you enter the Shaping competition, Keolah?" Rukaba asked. 

"Oh, I don't compete in the events," Keolah said offhandedly. "It wouldn't be fair." 

"Fair to who?" said Rukaba. "From what I've heard, nobody really stands a chance against Dante." 

"That may be true, but, I don't have anything to prove." Keolah shrugged. 

"You could get a wish from it, though," Rukaba urged. 

Keolah wondered, "What do I need a wish for?" 

"Well," Rukaba said sweetly, "you could use it to get my custom plane in case I don't win something." 

"Rukaba!" Keolah looked at her sternly. "What if Dante needs that wish for something?" 

"I rather doubt that," Rukaba said dryly. "I looked at the records and it seems he still has unspent wishes." 

"Still," Keolah countered, "it's not like I couldn't accomplish most of what would be required to begin with anyway." 

"You said you couldn't do the time field, though," Rukaba reminded her. 

"Well, no," she said, "and it would take me a good deal longer to get everything set up properly. It's all a matter of time and not ability. Given sufficient time, we could achieve anything that a wish could give, but it could allow it to be done much faster." 

"Sorry that I haven't lived a thousand years and don't have infinite patience," Rukaba said. "I'd rather like to see results within my lifetime." 

"I don't really think you are in any danger of getting old and dying, Rukaba." 

"Well, even so," sie said. "Maybe I should have said within the next decade." 

"It's a valid concern, though," Keolah admitted. "I am, myself, eager to see the results of the experiment. We came across so many failures before we finally achieved a stable pattern. I'd hate to think that the chimerae were another failure, as they've seemed to work much better than the others thus far." 

"I hope so, too," Rukaba murmured. 

"Alright," Keolah conceded with a sigh. "I'll join." Rukaba squealed in delight and hugged Keolah enthusiastically. Keolah said hastily, "But just because I'm in it doesn't mean I'm going to win!" 

"I'm sure you will," Rukaba said, releasing her. "You're the greatest and most powerful mage in the universe!" 

Keolah said half-heartedly, "If you say so." She went over to the nearest data crystal and activated it, entering herself into the Shaping event that would take place this afternoon. 

"This just in," Shazmar's voice announced around the Stadium. "Keolah Kedaire has decided to enter the Shaping event today." 

"You just have to make a big deal about it, don't you," Keolah muttered. 

Theryn shifted uneasily. Her chances of winning just plummeted. Across the Stadium, Dante was taking the news with a bit of surprise. Keolah had never before actually participated in one of the competition events. This would throw an unanticipated element into the competition. Elsewhere in the Stadium, people were excited, the buzz of conversation rising wildly with excitement about seeing Keolah perform. Bets were taken, some people flamboyantly putting their support behind Keolah as the favored winner of the Shaping event, while others stoutly insisted that Dante would be the victor. Overall, however, Keolah was by far the favorite to win now. 

Keolah sighed. "Couldn't just do this quietly, could I." 

"Not really," Shazmar's voice emitted from a nearby speaker. "Gotta keep up the tension and excitement, otherwise the entire competition is pretty pointless, isn't it?" 

"Well, I suppose," Keolah admitted. 

"And up until you joined up, nobody seriously expected Dante could actually lose," Shazmar said. "It was a given. Theryn's chances are slim at best. Now, with you in the running, it's completely uncertain who will win. The match is exciting again. See?" 

"That doesn't mean I have to like it," Keolah said. 

Rukaba asked, "What are we going to do if we don't get a wish, though?" 

"Just because I can't put up a faster time field doesn't mean nobody can," Keolah replied. "Besides Shazmar, I know of two people capable of putting up a field of that strength. Lexen and Theryn." 

Shazmar's voice echoed again abruptly, "This just in, Lariole Hawthorne Chelseer has joined the Shaping event." 

The excitement in the Stadium rose to new levels. Keolah blinked for a moment and looked over toward Hawthorne, who just grinned and waved at her. Rukaba laughed and touched the crystal herself. 

"Rukaba Kalap, Eshryn Teldio, and Suzcecoz Ilawi have joined the Shaping event," Shazmar announced. 

Rukaba rolled her eyes. "Do you really have to say my last name? It's horrible." 

"Well, they'll Kalap for you if you win," Shazmar's voice echoed through the speaker near them. 

Rukaba groaned and put her face to her palm. "If you weren't God, I'd throttle you." 

Adri walked over to where they were and said, "Well, if everyone else is joining for the hell of it, I may as well too." She touched the crystal. 

"Adrienna Angelbourne and Calring Chelseer have joined the Shaping event," Shazmar intoned through the speakers. 

"Light and Darkness," Keolah muttered. "Are any other random people going to join?" 

"No," Shazmar replied. 

The Stadium was abuzz with conversation now. Everyone was trying to figure out just who would win. There were a lot of powerful mages in the event now, and many had doubts that Dante could outdo all of them. The bets being made were mainly over cans of beer or ice cream cones, however, as actual money was pretty meaningless to most mages more powerful than a mibi. Still, a few of them were betting actual money, in the different forms of currency used on the various planes. Tebrite and gold exchanged hands, pieces of paper and little colored crystals were put on the table, and people eagerly awaited the event. 

Theryn had to leave me with Soli instead, who was most uncomfortable to be holding a sword attuned to the dragon's blood, since most every Dragonblood eligible was in the actual event anyway. Then all the participants were teleported into the arena. 

"I'm glad to see you are all participating," Shazmar's voice echoed through the speakers. "And I look forward to seeing what you create. For this event, you will all have ten minutes in order to conjure and shape something. It could be anything you wish, living or inanimate, so go with whatever you are good at. When the time is up, I will judge your creations and announce the winners. You may now begin." 

The competitors all began to conjure whatever they were capable of. Hawthorne was quickly covered in a large pile of colored confetti. Dante promptly began creating a menagerie of exotic animals. Keolah crafted a couple live chimerae, who, upon restoration of their memories, inexplicably began attempting to kill one another. Perplexed, Keolah put them both into separate forcefields. Calring's efforts were purely illusionary, but her multi-colored lights were rather pretty. 

After several long minutes of concentration, a flock of perfect white doves surrounded Adrienna. She appeared quite surprised by her success. Theryn wasn't doing particularly well, though, having managed to craft only a shapeless crystalline structure. Suzcecoz, likewise, had managed to create some hot flames, but that was about it. Eshryn and Rukaba each had metallic structures, though Rukaba's was a good deal more advanced. 

Then, the ten minutes was up, and Shazmar called time, putting up the dampening field to prevent any further conjurations. "I admire your creations here," Shazmar intoned. "You have all put forth a good effort. I will now announce the scores." 

Keolah seemed to eventually convince the two odd-looking chimerae to stop trying to murder one another. Shazmar began announcing the scores of the fourteen participants in reverse order. 

"In twelfth place, with a pile of confetti, Lariole Hawthorne Chelseer." 

Hawthorne dug her way out of her pile of confetti, spitting some out and giggling incoherently. She waved her hand toward the spectators, apparently thinking this was the funniest thing in the world. 

"In eleventh place, with some fire, Suzcecoz Ilawi." 

The demoness snickered softly, and waved a flame-covered palm to the audience. Some others I had never heard of were announced. 

"In eighth place, with some colored lights, Calring Chelseer." 

Calring could hardly be seen from behind the bright, shimmering lights. 

"In seventh place, with a metallic armoire, Eshryn Teldio." 

Eshryn spread her wings proudly and patted the piece of furniture sie had crafted. Another random person was announced. 

"In fifth place, with a molybdenum cabinet, Rukaba Kalap." 

Mol-what? Rukaba also seemed pleased with her accomplishment, as little as it seemed next to that of some of the others. 

"In fourth place, with a crystal statue, Theryn Valeranger Shadowhand." 

Theryn gave an odd look to her creation and just chuckled softly, waving to the spectators as well. 

"In third place, with a flock of doves, Adrienna Angelbourne." 

Adri was no less happy about her performance today. White birds perched on her arms and wings, she gave a bow, a broad smile across her face. 

"In second place, with two chimerae, Keolah Kedaire." 

Keolah was too busy lecturing them to acknowledge him. 

"And in first place, the winner of the Shaping event, with a menagerie, Dante Brophy." 

Dante gave a suave bow to the audience. He had ended up with a giraffe, a small elephant, two emus, a colorful peacock, a lion, a unicorn, a micro-dragon, a zebra, a mountain goat. I felt that he was showing off just a bit. 

All of the participants and their creations were teleported out of the arena. The various animals promptly began scattering around the Stadium and causing a good deal of confusion. After a couple minutes, somebody removed them from the Stadium. Sedder looked disappointed that the brief chaos was cut short. 

I turned my attention over to Keolah, wondering just what had happened in there with those chimerae. They were both there, Adri and Rukaba nearby. One of them had splotchy black fur and eight eyes, while the other had dark blue wings and pincers on hir arms. They at least had given up trying to kill one another, mainly due to Keolah's forcefields. 

"Okay, you two," Keolah said sternly. "Who are you and what the Abyss do you think you're doing?" 

"Let me out of this cage and let me kill him!" the black-furred one snarled. 

"Technically," said Keolah, "you're both hirs now." She channeled a touch of Mind magic. 

They both blinked and looked at her oddly, then down at their bodies. The winged one said, "What have you done to us?" 

"I resurrected you, in a manner of speaking," Keolah said. "Now, would you be so kind as to tell me what's going on here?" 

I quickly scanned their auras. Both had a touch of Seeking, and some minor elemental powers, but nothing major. "My name is Ittren Skylord," the winged chimera said proudly. "And that is Joonor Darkson, my sworn enemy! Release me and allow me to purge this scum from the universe." 

"I am not Joonor Darkson!" the black-furred one insisted. "I am Calla Starblade, you filthy liar, and you are Dothei Flamebrand, the evil slayer of my children! You shall pay for your crimes!" 

Keolah looked vaguely amused. "Why, exactly, do you think the other is who you think sie is?" 

"I can read hir aura," the winged one said. "Sie has the same powers as Joonor Darkson. Sie must be the same person!" 

"Well, that's entirely possible, at some point in your previous lives," Keolah pointed out. "If the theory of there being only eight Elkandu is true. However, that was not hir immediately preceeding life. Sie is who sie says sie is." 

The two chimerae looked at each other for a long moment. "Where are we, anyway?" the furry one asked. 

"You are in the Stadium of Torn Elkandu, during the Third Septennial Official Grand Elkandu Magic Competition," Keolah explained. "If you wish to go elsewhere, just head for that gateway and go to the Nexus. From there you can be teleported anywhere you want." 

"Right, I'm out of here," the furry chimera said, turning for the exit. Keolah reluctantly released the forcefield around hir. 

"You aren't going to try to kill hir, are you?" Keolah asked the winged one. 

"If sie's not Joonor, I have no grudge against hir," sie said. 

"Very well." Keolah released hir, and sie left the Stadium as well. After they were gone, Keolah sighed. "That was annoying." 

"Sorry about that," Rukaba said. 

Keolah waved a hand dismissively. "It wasn't your fault. Maybe I shouldn't have tried to create chimerae for the event." Keolah sighed. "I just wanted to show people how neat they were. But I should have remembered that people aren't always stable when they get reborn, particularly with their memory restored so quickly." 

"Do you think they'll try to kill one another again?" 

Keolah shook her head. "I sent to them the knowledge that they'd need, and convinced them with a touch of Speech that what I was saying was true. They shouldn't have any reason to think otherwise." 

Rukaba frowned. "Is it really wise to use control like that?" 

"I hate doing it," Keolah said. "Sometimes its necessary. Or just simpler than spending an hour trying to convince them of something. Some damned fools won't believe the truth if it hits them in the face, otherwise. I'd never use it to deceive someone, though. I'm an Avatar of Truth. It would be against my philosophy." 

Rukaba nodded, satisfied. "Could you explain this avatar thing to me? I've heard others mention it, but I don't understand it." 

"It's not really well understood by most people," Keolah explained. "But I understand it better than most. The problem with it, I think, is that people often don't realize whether they're an avatar or not, or of what, but if they understand what it means, they'll know. It's one of those things you just have to know, and if you know how avatarhood works, but don't know what kind you might be, you probably aren't one." 

"Okay," Rukaba said. "But how does it work?" 

"An avatar is basically an embodiment of a virtue or quality," Keolah went on. "Like I am an avatar of Truth, Faith, and Hope. Some other possibilities are Wisdom, Deceit, Courage, and such. We aren't entirely sure just how many of them there are. I'm sure there's a lot of types we don't know about." 

"What does it mean to be the embodiment of a virtue?" Rukaba asked. 

"It allows easier use of certain talents associated with that virtue, and greater power with them," Keolah answered. "For instance, Truth is associated with Seeking, and thus enhances my natural inborn Seeking abilities." 

"Oh, I see," Rukaba said. "So how does one become an avatar?" 

"One has to be basically dedicated to a particular virtue," Keolah said. "Sometimes it is possible to attain avatarhood in multiple virtues, but it is more difficult, and only really possible where they're close anyway. It's comparatively easy to get, next to angelhood, but also probably the easiest type of ascention to lose, since if you violate the conduct of that virtue, you can lose it, particularly for repeat offenses. However, it's likewise just as easy to get back again, once you amend your behavior, if you wish to retain avatarhood of that particular virtue anyway." 

"So if you're an Avatar of Truth, does that mean you can't lie?" Rukaba wondered. 

Keolah shook her head. "No, I can lie. I'll just be violating the conduct of my avatarhood if I do, depending upon the circumstances. Truth, I believe, is more against deception than outright lying. Hence, I could lie to somebody, but it wouldn't be a violation unless I was intending to deceive them by it. It rather makes sarcasm easier." 

Rukaba chuckled. "So it's like being an angel or a demon?" 

"Yeah," Keolah said. "Angels, demons, avatars, phoenices, metamorphs, and such, are all considered immortals, the level of existence above mortals." 

"Immortals?" Rukaba repeated. "As in, they live forever?" 

"Most generally do anyway," Keolah answered. "I don't know the origin of the term. I learned it from Shazmar. I would suppoes there's a reason for it." 

"Right, so you're an immortal then?" Rukaba asked. 

"Actually, I'm a celestial," Keolah told her. "I'm one step above the normal immortals, but one below a deity like Shazmar." 

"There are other deities?" 

"Not in this universe, at the moment," Keolah said, pursing her lips. 

"How many celestials are there?" Rukaba asked eagerly. "How does one become one? What can they do? What's the difference between them and a normal immortal?" 

"Whoa, slow down there, Rukaba," Keolah said, chuckling lightly. "What is this, an info dump?" 

"Sorry," Rukaba said with a grin. 

"I don't really know most of that, anyway. It's different for every person, and little of it is well-understood. There's only handful of other celestials that I know about. There's me, Sardill, Suzcecoz, and Adri now. Silver used to be one as well, but he's dead now." 

Eshryn came up to them. "Hey, Ruky," sie said. "It's getting late and my bed is cold. Let's go." 

"Okay. Bye, Keolah." They waved and went off. 

"I think they've got the right idea," Adri said with a wink. 

Keolah grinned mischieviously. "Yes, I do believe they do. Shall we?" 

They went off to a private viewing room. Damnit. And I bet watching hermaphrodite sex would be very interesting. 

"You know, you had the opportunity to watch the other day," Tahnmilot reminded me. 

"Yeah, but you distracted me!" 

"Would I do a thing like that?" Tahnmilot said innocently. 

"Yes," I said flatly. 

Theryn was already heading out of the Stadium by this point anyway, apparently wanting to head to bed herself. Pity she'd likely be alone tonight again, as usual. The poor woman really needs to hook up with somebody one of these days. Maybe I should see about getting her and Soli together. They made a cute and cuddly couple. 

"Don't even think about it," Tahnmilot warned. 

"Why, what are you going to do about it?" I told him. "If you try anything, I can and will cut you loose into rebirth." 

"Hmph," he grunted. "You know I'm right, though. There's more to life than sex." 

"Of course there is. But life without sex is boring." 

"Whatever you say."


	12. Dating Tips From a Sword

That night, I got bored and subtly tried to poke at Soliaron's dreams to hint at him getting together with Theryn. Of course, forgetting that he was an inborn dreamwalker probably didn't help all that much with it, however. Much as I disliked acting on my own, as it generally annoyed my bearers, I was getting extremely bored by this point and felt it was time to actually do something. 

"Who are you and what are you doing in my dream?" Soli demanded. A dream environment formed around me, pulling me in. 

Drat, so much for doing this quietly. I willed myself to take on the appearance I'd had in the prime of my life -- A strong elvish warrior, with raven-black hair and emerald green eyes. I knew this was his dream, however, and I was completely in his power if he wanted me to be. Soli looked fairly annoyed. He appeared much as he did in real life, though possibly a bit better groomed and more alert than he normally appeared. 

"Well, er, hello. Sorry about that. I was just, um..." I stammered nervously. 

"Poking around without permission, yes, I did notice," the nali said accusingly. I did my best to look innocent, but I don't think he was buying it. "Care to explain?" 

"Erm..." I hesitated, shuffling uneasily. 

"There's a long night ahead of us, and I doubt you'll wake before I get an answer," Soli said. 

"I'm not asleep," I told him. "I don't sleep. Actually, I can't sleep." 

"Just a telepath, then?" Soli surmised "Your place isn't here." 

"I'm not just anything," I said. 

"What are you, then?" Soli asked. 

"I think I'd better introduce myself," I said reluctantly. "I am known as Zarnith." Soli blinked in surprise. "I don't generally try to interfere with things directly, but damnit, I'm bored as hell." 

"I can imagine," Soli said. He seemed rather stunned by the idea of a dreamwalking sword. 

"Rather wish Theryn would sleep at the Stadium or something," I complained. "It's rather more interesting there than it is here. Not like she ever listens to me anyway." 

"Do you ever talk to her?" Soli asked. 

"I used to try. She just ignored me." I sighed. "Nobody ever pays any attention to a sword." 

Soli lowered himself onto his stomach on the dream grass like a lazy cat. "Most people assume swords can't talk." 

I crossed my legs and sat down across from him. "I'm not any ordinary sword, and they should know that by now," I said. "Wasn't always a sword, either, anyway." I indicated my body with a gesture. "This is how i looked in life." 

"What happened?" Soli wondered. 

"Oh, it's a long story," I explained. "I was old, and back then, elves didn't live for half a century most of the time. So I forged this sword and learned how to trap my soul in it to keep myself from dying." 

"In my experience, most people possess other people, not swords." 

"But that generally hurts them, and would still have the same problem," I pointed out. "Swords don't get old and die." 

"Swords don't talk or walk or generally have any part of the decision-making process," Soli said. 

I shrugged. "I've still got my powers, I can scry, teleport, everything else. I can bloody well abandon anyone I think isn't worthy and pick a new bearer. But Azale and Hawthorne would at least talk to me." 

"But you stay with Theryn?" Soli asked, "Why? Not that I suggest you leave or anything." 

"She hasn't really done anything bad. No crime in being boring, I suppose," I said. "But I hate this blasted university and those boring lectures and the lack of sex!" 

Soliaron blinked. "You've been in that sword for what, a couple hundred years? I thought you'd be used to no sex. And Cruces are fairly interesting." 

"Well, yes, somewhat, yes, but... Theryn is too single!" I hoped it wasn't too easy to tell that I was rather rusty on the entire social interaction thing. Soli blinked, then stretched. "And uh... yeah." 

"Been a while since you've actually conversed with anyone, hasn't it," Soli stated. Damn. 

"No, not at all," I protested. "There's other souls in the sword, too. But most of them are quiet or annoying." 

"More souls?" Soli raised an eyebrow. 

"Yeah," I explained. "Every one of my line has been bound to the sword, but some of them I've released at their request." 

"Strange," he said. 

"Uh-huh. Watching the competition is interesting, though. All kinds of nifty things going on there." 

"Yes," Soli agreed "Surprising, Keolah's loss at Creation." 

"It wasn't entirely her fault," I told him. 

"I didn't imply fault," Soli said. 

"Apparently, the two chimerae had a case of mistaken identity," I explained. 

"Mrrr." Soliaron changed the subject. Maybe he just didn't care. "What were you doing, poking at my dreams?" 

"I was just um..." I blushed. 

"Tell me," Soli pressed. 

"I was hoping to get you together with Theryn," I finally admitted sheepishly. 

"By poking at my dreams," Soli said flatly. I did my best to look innocent. "I'd expect someone your age to be a bit wiser." 

"Boredom does that to people," I said. 

"Besides, she's the one who needs convincing, not me." 

"Oh." That would explain it, then. 

"She's a beautiful little elf," Soli said. "I've known her long enough." 

"She is..." I stared off at nothing. 

"Of course, after that incident at the stadium, where we... well... she was, like, avoiding me the day after." 

"I noticed," I said ruefully. 

"She probably regrets it," Soli said sadly. "I probably have no chance." 

"I don't know," I admitted. "I'm not privy to her thoughts." 

"Why not?" he asked. 

"She's not bonded to me," I explained. "The last one to be bonded is Hawthorne, and she has, by some miracle, avoided dying." 

"Why did you leave Hawthorne?" Soli wanted to know. 

"After she went demon and started attacking angels..." I didn't feel the need to explain further. 

"But she's an angel now," Soli pointed out. 

"Yes. She is," I said. 

"Not that I think you should leave Theryn," he said, his whiskers twitching. "Not at all." 

"Exactly," I said. 

Soli asked. "Does she shield her dreams?" 

I nodded. "Locked up as tight as a paranoid warder." 

Soliaron sighs softly. "At least if she was going to reject me and did it in a dream, I might convince her it didn't happen. I couldn't... approach her... and stand being rejected." 

"That's why you don't go at it directly," I explained. 

"Then what do I do?" he asked. "Have I not done all of that already? I've known her well since the last competition, met her even before then. Seven years!" 

"Well, maybe you're just not going about it the right way. Have a romantic dinner or something," I suggested. "Hell, she decided to go skinny dipping the other day..." 

"Mrr?" 

"With Sharina, Kalixia, and Catalina," I told him. 

"Ah. Them." 

"Yeah," I said. "Ishane came in, too, but I don't think she's at all interested in him, seeing as she left promptly afterward." 

"Mrr. Ishane. He has four women, and I can't get one." 

"Sure you can," I said. 

"Haven't yet." 

"Just... be confident." 

"Mrr. I'm getting dating tips from a sword." 

"Why were you always so skittish before, like you were afraid somebody was going to bite off your head if you stepped out of line?" I wondered. 

"Because someone was going to bite off my head if I stepped out of line," he answered. 

"I don't think so..." 

"These were the people who had killed me," he said. "I didn't want to die again so soon." 

"You know, I think I"m the only other person who knows just what all Azale did while time-hopping." 

"Mrr?" 

"Yeah." 

"What does that have to do with this?" Soli wondered. 

"They wouldn't kill you," I assured him. 

"I know that now," he said. "I couldn't have, then." 

"Azale... really regretted it... about the first thing he did was he went to a timeline where he had never been born, and helped the alternative you there." 

"Really?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. I nodded. "Wow... I had no idea." 

"It's a pity he's not Dragonblood anymore, or I would abandon Theryn for him," I said wistfully. "Though I doubt it would help, he seems to be spending entirely too much time with that Shai, and not even doing anything interesting. However, I do believe Theryn felt the same way." 

"Why is Dragonblood important?" he asked. "If you'd rather be with him... _not_ that I think you should leave Theryn." 

"Only a Dragonblood can use the sword," I explained. 

"Why?" 

"I don't know why," I admitted. "It's just how it works." 

"You made the sword," he protested. "You'd better know why." 

"A non-Dragonblood can hold it, but it ... doesn't work for them. Anymore than an ordinary sword." 

"Surely _you_ could change that," Soli pointed out. 

I sighed. "At this point, I'd just head for rebirth and damn the consequences, but I'm none too keen on soul-splitting." 

"Mrr?" 

"Yes, something I picked up in the Stadium a few days ago." I conveyed the conversation I had overheard about it. 

"Strange," he commented. "Though not something I think I'm in any danger of." 

"You've been using the gems, though," I pointed out. 

"If you can possess a sword, why not possess a body?" he asked. 

"Well, yeah, I probably could manage that," I said slowly. 

"Mrr." 

"But if I did, what would become of the sword, anyway..." 

"What does it matter?" Soli asked. "It's just a sword." 

"It's made of pure gemstones," I said. 

"Give it to someone as a sword, I guess," Soli suggested. "Or use it yourself." 

I shrugged. "Not that Theryn really needs it anymore at this point anyway..." 

"She does have plenty of gems, yes." 

"Yeah..." 

"You're not _obligated_ to stay in a magical sword and be ignored by people," Soli told me. 

"Alright, let me tell you," I changed the subject. "Most people shield their minds, but they forget that they leak emotions that can bepicked up. But I pay attention to that. Specially with Theryn, since I don't get much else out of her most of hte time." 

"And what does she feel?" he asked. 

"There's been some things she was irrationally angry about," I explained "I think she was a bit upset at first that you weren't, well, Nero-ish enough, but she seems calmer about it now." 

"Why should I be anything but who I am?" he asked. 

"I never said you shouldn't," I replied. 

"She didn't like that I was like this?" 

"Not at first, no," I admitted. 

"Why should I be judged by standards like that?" 

"I think she's used to it now," I commented. "But you must undersatnd, it was a rather abrupt change for her." 

"It wasn't safe for me to be like that, back then," he argued. "I'd been like this for decades. It would be rather abrupt for me to change completely and suddenly. And I'd notice it a lot more." 

I paused, and said, "I daresay it would have been safer. But you couldn't have known that." 

"Really?" He raised an eyebrow. "No, I couldn't." 

"Did you know that loyalty is an emotion?" I asked. 

"I did not." 

"I don't know quite what Theryn was planning that night, but..." 

"Mrr?" 

I sighed. "When somebody sees several people who are reborn immediately pick up their old lives as if they had never died, they start to expect that." 

"Most people don't do that," Soli said. "A lot of people don't ever remember. Why should she have expected..." 

"She did, though," I explained. 

"She talked to me about it, but I couldn't change who I was just for her." 

"Most people don't remember, but those who do..." I trailed off. "How much _do_ you remember?" 

"Almost everything," he told me. I nodded slowly. "I'd seen most of it before -- dismissed it, though -- and had the rest surfaced afterwards." 

"And then Azale filled in the gaps..." 

"Yes." 

"I suppose if I'd been younger, I would have preferred to be like I used to be," Soli said with a sigh. "A larger _quantity_ of memories, a more complete set. But at my age?" 

I nodded. "Why do they need to conflict, though?" 

"They don't, necessarily," he said, "but Theryn expected me to dismiss all of what _I_ had. I still know what I knew as Nero. I'm just less ambitious than I was back then." 

"Maybe she did, for a while," I said. "People can be irrational sometimes when they feel strongly about something." 

"Strongly?" Soli raised an eyebrow. 

"Yes." 

Soliaron sighed. "I blew my chance, didn't I, back then." 

"She was a veritable knot of emotion during that time," I told him. "I don't think so. If you had, she'd have likely gone off and never spoken to you again." 

Soliaron's eyed were closed. He actually looked like he was ready to nap. Inside his dream. "She's a nice girl. I really do need to try to get her alone more often... in a nice setting..." 

"Indeed." 

"Mrrrrrrrrr..." 

"I think I'm one of the few who knew not only what Jami-Riven was like, but both of them separately... they were all very different jerks." I grinned faintly. "You'd be surprised." I paused. "And still, given the opportunity, he picked up where he left off, for the most part." 

"Mrr. Riven really was a jerk," Soli said. "Never did manage to kill that fucking asshole." 

"If you think he was bad, Jami was a million times worse before he was reborn." 

Soli blinked in surprise. "Mrr? HOW?" 

"Let's just say he set a new record for the most rapes within a year." 

"How many?" 

"Too many," I said ruefully. "I don't even know how many." 

"And a guy like you has little better to do than count," Soli pointed out. 

"Well, I wasn't exactly _watching_ ," I said indignantly. 

Soli paused thoughtfully. "Wow. I suppose it somewhat explains his, ah, assholism." 

"And that wasn't even all of it," I went on. "Since he was a telepath, you see, and one of the best around, and not at all shy about... using it." 

He said quietly, "Oh..." 

"Yeah." 

"I know it's tempting to... I mean, if you can... just look... and take... and, erm, 'suggest'. Isn't it." 

"Tahnmilot always chides me for poking into the heads of mibis that don't even know I'm there, but I'd never... ugh..." 

Soliaron sighs softly. "We're better than the mensch, but have no right to abuse them, do we." 

"Are we really so much better, though? Apparently, they can learn magic, too..." 

"I know," he said. "I heard them talking about that." 

"That just seems so strange, but it makes sense." I sighed. 

"The world is so confusing," Soli commented. 

"Yes, yes it is," I murmured. 

"Was it really more that you wanted to be who you are, or that you were afraid of who you were?" 

Soliaron blinked. "I already was who I am. Why should I have changed?" 

"That's not what I meant," I said, waving a hand. 

"I'm not afraid of who I was," Soli said. "I used to be great at managing people and projects. I was a fairly good mage -- well, considering who I was up against at the time -- and if Riven hadn't been the rebirth of an extremely powerful mage, I probably would have taken over what I'd meant to." He paused. "It's not that I didn't like being Nero. I just preferred Soliaron. Me." 

I shook my head. "Riven had nothing to do with it. If Azale hadn't helped him, you wuold have won." 

"Mrr." 

"Without his help, Riven would have stood no chance." 

"Azale's a nice boy, please don't try to get me angry at him." 

"He is, and at the time, he thought ht was doing the right thing," I said slowly. "And now he's regretted it." 

"Maybe he was doing the right thing," Soli said quietly. "I don't _mind_ having been killed. It does happen to everyone. Everyone who doesn't cheat death by possessing inanimate objects, that is." 

"Heh." 

"Mrr. It must have been a good idea at the time." 

"It might have been the right thing, if RIven hadn't been Jami's rebirth," I commented. "And Azale, kept trying to bring Riven back, and suppress Jami. And ultimately failed." 

"Not his fault," Soli said. "Hard to keep out a good telepath." 

"Yes, by that point it was too late..." 

"He's still alive," the nali pointed out. "He's done well." 

"He did die, though," I told him. 

"Jami's fault?" he asked. 

"And he's changed too, and I find I don't like Trevan as well," I admitted. 

"People do change," Soli said. 

"He's also become more passive. No, it wasn't Jami's fault. He surrendered the sword and was killed by Darkhammer." 

"Ah," he said, nodding. "Damnable Darkhammer. Tempest is at least... ah... sane." 

"Well, you know what? Passive people are boring." 

"Mrrr. So true. But safe. The alternative is having extremely aggressive telepaths or necromancers running around, though. Your preference?" 

"At least with aggressive telepaths and necromancers running around, life was interesting. Nobody ever bothers a sword, at least." 

"They do bother us mortals who tend to die at the hands of aggressive telepaths and necromancers," Soli said dryly. 

"And then said aggressive telepaths and necromancers end up getting banished or at least severely pussy-whipped," I said. 

"You should convince Theryn to use you to take over the world. Or something." 

"But Tempest already rules the world," I pointed out. "And convincing mensch to follow you is too easy." 

"Some big plot to kidnap and replace Ishane?" Soli suggested. 

"Why _bother_?" I said, then grinned. "Yeah, I'm a hypocrite, aren't i." 

"You want an interesting life," Soli said. "You _are_ a hypocrite." 

"Well, I _could_ very well come out and freak people out. Oh, wouldn't that amuse people. At one point I was using projected illusions to appear solid..." 

"Maybe people would listen to you then," he pointed out. "You know, _without_ you interrupting their dreams and all." 

"Well, maybe..." 

"Mrr." Soli looked like he was trying to fall asleep _in his dream_. Was that a hint? 

"I wish I could sleep," I said ruefully. 

"Probably could, if you tried hard enough." A nicer response than "so do I". 

"Suppose... Should I let you get back to that?" 

"Mrr. It's hard to get proper rest if you're really awake all night, yes." 

"Of course," I said with a grin, "if I did make a body and possessed it, wouldn't you be afraid I'd try to hit on Theryn?" 

"Mrr. If you had a body like the one you're in now, I think my claws would make easy work of it." 

I chuckled softly. "Point taken. Goodnight." 

"Goodnight. Sleep -- err -- rest -- ah -- have a nice night." 

I pulled myself out of the dream, with his help, and returned my consciousness to the sword. Well, that hadn't quite gone as planned, though possible better than I'd ever hoped.


	13. A Glitch in the Universe

That done, I decided it was time to take the liberty to do something. I channeled Creation magic, and formed a new body, just like that I'd just been using in Soliaron's dream. Then, that complete and lying on the floor, I asked the other souls in the sword what they wished to do. Some of them wanted to go, so I released them. 

"You're leaving?" Tahnmilot said. "Then I'll be master of the sword?" 

I sighed. "Yes, Tahnmilot. You'll be in control of the sword." 

"Better than rebirth," he said. 

I shrugged mentally, and relinked the sword so that he was in control, then pulled myself out of it. I drifted there for a moment in the air, feeling the pull of the Void upon my soul, but rebirth was not where I wished to go. Resisting its pull, I grabbed a hold of the body I had formed, and slid inside. I took control of the body, and felt my heartbeat start up, and breathed in a deep breath. Why had I ever chosen to possess an inanimate object? 

Happily, I tuned out the world and closed my eyes to sleep, and drifted off for the first real rest I had had in centuries. 

I was shaken awake some time later, and I blinked and opened my eyes. My surroundings were completely unfamiliar. Sunlight streamed down through a canopy of trees above, water from recent rain dripping down off the leaves. I sat up and looked around me. There was a cluster of moss-covered stones, arranged in such a way that this might have once been some sort of building. It was Azale who had woken me, and several others were there as well. Lena was huddling frightened in a corner between two stones. Theryn was confused and Soli was a bit annoyed. Shai was looking around suspiciously. Manifel was there as well, his eyes half-closed against the sunlight. 

"Wha? Where am I?" I muttered. 

"I was hoping one of you would be able to shed some light on that," Azale said, glancing around to see if anyone had an answer. "I take it nobody knows how we got here? Or for that matter, where the Abyss we are?" 

Theryn said, "I don't remember having been teleported." 

But there was something else wrong with the place. I said, "I think we've got a bigger problem here. There's no mana." 

"Shit," Manifel swore. 

Theryn checked her belongings in confusion. "Hey, where's my sword?" Then she looked at me, as if she hadn't seen me there before. "And who the hell are you?" 

I smirked. "Allow mw to introduce myself," I said. "I am called Zarnith." 

"Mrr," went Soliaron, not elaborating on what he knew. Tahnmilot must have taken off while I was sleeping. 

"Oh," said Theryn, blinking a bit. Manifel glanced at me suspiciously for a moment, but said nothing. 

Azale sighed and threw up his hands. "Great, we're somewhere Shazmar-knows-where, with no mana, no idea where we are or how we got here." 

"Great," said Manifel dryly. "Absolutely fantastic." 

Theryn mused, "Well, we could always hope Shazmar summons us in for the next match we're in." 

"He wouldn't let a fight go and have us not show up," said Shai brightly. 

"Unless we're in a time field," Lena said paranoidly. "Suppose that theory is supported if we're here for over a day and none of us get summoned back." 

Theryn sighed. "Wonderful." 

"Who would want to bring us here? And why us?" I wondered. 

"Maybe we pissed off Tempest?" Shai suggested. "Ishane never did like me." 

"I don't see how or why," Theryn said. "Besides that, if we can't use mana here, neither could any of them." 

"Who else would care about it?" Shai argued. "I mean, Ishane hates me. And Azale and I are married. Plus Manifel took over a plane, and Ishane probably doesn't like that. And Theryn was having sex with Jami, and Ishane hates Jami, and Soliaron was Darkhammer." 

"And what about me?" I smirked. "Besides. I was eavesdropping on all their plans over the last week and a half. You know what they were planning? Filling the stadium with jazma flowers. Nothing about teleporting apparently random people to a mana-dead world." 

"Dunno." Shai looked disappointed. 

"We're here and I don't know how we got here and we're never gonna get out," Lena moaned. 

Azale sighed. "Great, I'm reduced to Seeker-boy again. Hey, at least I can still tell you what color your underwaer is." 

"And I'm well-armed, so since you can't zap me, keep such details to yourself," Manifel growled. Azale smiled innocently, and Shai giggled. 

I commented, "I rather doubt killing each other would help us get off this place." 

"You never know," Lena said. "Maybe if we all die and the mana in our bodies all goes together maybe there'll be enough for the last person left alive to get out of here." 

"Don't even think about it," I warned her. 

"I don't _want_ to!" she practically screamed at me. Man, she seemed really edgy. 

"Another interesting tidbit I overheard at the Stadium," I explained. "Apparently, the souls of powerful mages can split when they die..." 

"Mrr," went Soli, who had heard this last night. "Not pleasant." 

Theryn said dryly, "Oh, just wonderful." 

"Great, so some powerful asshole gets lots of power and dies and then you have _five_ of him," babbled Lena. 

"Not exactly," I went on. "Five much weaker souls without a complete set of memories." 

Azale mused, "Uh, does that mean there might be another Jami out there somewhere?" 

"There can't be. Can't be. Can't be. No way," said Lena frightfully. 

Theryn said, "Even if there were, how or why would he bring us to a mana-dead world?" 

"He's a catalyst," Lena insisted. "Or close enough. You guys never ever saw him enchant stuff, did you? He did. He knows how. He... ohhh, I fucking _hate_... He never needs a reason to do anything, either..." 

I pointed out, "Just because somebody's a catalyst doesn't mean they can use magic on a mana-dead world. I'm a catalyst, too." 

"Why need to use magic here?" Lena said. "Just make a portal and shove us through it..." 

"We were _asleep_," I argued. 

"He's a telepath," Lena argued. "No big problem for him." 

Theryn pointed out, "My mind is always shielded. I'd have noticed." 

"He's good, though," Lena said paranoidly. "Really, really good. I could almost never tell when..." 

I said, "Still. Why would he pick this particular group of people?" 

"He's erratric," Lena countered. "You know that. He'd pick anyone." 

Azale asked, "I don't suppose anyone has any wishes left?" 

"Never had one," Soliaron muttered. 

"Spent mine," Lena muttered. 

"Me too," said Shai. 

"Mmph," went Manifel as his negative. 

Theryn pointed out, "Well, that could be a deciding factor, it'd be pointless to summon anyone that has wishes pending..." 

"I don't want to be trapped by him again," Lena whispered. "This is no good. Not Jami. I'd rather be reborn and risk my soul being split, which probably happened last time I died anyway." 

Azale said, "I think we're overreacting a bit here. We don't know for sure Jami was responsible. Very likely it wasn't." 

"Who else would, though?" Shai asked. 

"Maybe it's a glitch in the universe," Soliaron purred. 

I told them, "Only a true catalyst can channel on a mana-dead world. And they're very, very rare. I've known only a handful of them in my lifetime. The most recent ones were a girl named Katana, who was one of Sedder's flings, and she's doubtful as she's been dead for centuries... and Sardill." 

"We're so, so, so screwed, aren't we," said Lena. 

Theryn said, "Er... Sardill..." 

"So, so screwed," Lena moaned. 

"Well, it makes as much sense as anything," I said with a shrug. 

"We wouldn't be on a mana-dead world if someone was holding us a party," Manifel said. "I think." 

"But _why_ would he bring us here?" Azale wondered. "And why us?" 

"Mrr. I barely know who he is," Soliaron said. 

"It's clearly Jami's fault anyway," Theryn said. "Because Jami once pissed off Sardill." 

"Jami pissed off Sardill more than once," Lena muttered. 

I said, "This makes no sense." 

"Maybe if you say his name really loud he'll appear, like Shazmar does," Shai said. "And it it's _not_ his fault we're here, he'll probably get us out of here." 

"Neither of them have appeared yet.." Theryn muttered. 

Suddenly, a shadow crossed the sun for a moment. Lena hugged her knees closer to her body. 

Azale commented, "Maybe standing around here arguing about it isn't such a great idea." 

"What, are we supposed to rub sticks to make a fire and camp out overnight?" Manifel asked. 

"It's not night yet," Azale said. "We can see about finding some sort of civilizatino or something." 

"Civilization? On a mana-dead world?" Shai asked. "Eww." 

"Would you rather sleep in a bed, or on the ground with the worms and the ants?" Azale asked. 

"Err. Let's look," Shai conceded. 

Theryn muttered, "Damned mages that don't know what to do if you take away their magic." 

"Hey, _I_ know what I'm doing," Manifel said indignantly. 

"Mrrr. If you silly mages haven't eaten in several months like I know you tend to do, I can hunt," Soliaron said. 

Azale said, "I can fight, damnit." 

"With your fists?" Manifel asked. 

"I haven't eaten in several hundred years." I grinned. 

"Best if we find out just what we're up against," said Azale. "And weapons would be helpful, yes." 

Manifel muttered, and pulled out three long knives from inside his jacket, handing one to Theryn and one to Azale, keeping the third. "Shut up. I just carry them. Okay?" 

Azale said, "I didn't say anything." 

"Damned right you didn't. Soli, Lena, get up. We need to get somewhere where wild animals aren't going to rip us apart, right?" 

Theryn nodded, testing the blade. Azale peered off through the trees, trying to squint as if to see something. Soliaron stretched and stood up. Lena got up, trying not to touch anyone or anything. Shai looked longingly at Azale's dagger. 

"There's too damned many trees to see much," Azale muttered. "But I think there's something in that direction." He pointed off into the trees. 

"Then that way is the way we'll go," Manifel said. The drow man headed into the trees, cutting a path through vines and brush with his knife. Azale went along to help. 

I wished I had a weapon, as well. I wasn't quite used to having a body again yet, but a nice sword in hand would be more comfortable. I had never been far from a weapon in my previous life. Soli went along after them, peering around alertly, watching for wild animals. That earth mage, Lena, could have probably helped with getting through the brush if she weren't so freaked out. 

Azale peered off ahead. "Definitely something over there..." 

"What sort of something?" asked Manifel. 

"Hard to tell through all the trees," the Seeker replied. "Maybe rocks? Buildings?" 

"Let's keep going, then," Manifel decided. "It's something. It's more than we have here." 

Azale nodded, hacking at vines and plants. Lena just stumbled along, not really paying attention. 

After trekking through the jungle for several hours, we came to a cluster of pyramids. The area was open and well-maintained, the undergrowth cut down low and the structures clear of vines. Walkways connected the seven pyramids, three on each side with a larger one in the center. 

"Wow, neat," Shai said. "Are there like, people anywhere?" 

"I doubt we'd know the language of people on a manadead world," Manifel pointed out. "Elkandu wouldn't contact them often, after all." 

"Nobody's here," Azale said, "But no doubt somebody has been recently." 

"No doubt," Manifel agreed. "Hollow buildings? Do we make shelter?" 

"Maybe this is some sort of ceremonial place." Azale points to the center pyramid, "That has plenty of room on the inside." 

By this point it was getting late, stars beginning to glimmer in the darkening sky. The sounds of insects and frogs could be heard from the darkness jungle. 

"We could look," Shai said. 

"I'd rather take my chances in the jungle," Lena said quietly. 

Azale said, "What could possibly happen? It can't be enchanted or anything, there's no mana for it." 

"I'm more comfortable out-of-doors," she said nervously. "That's all." 

"And we don't know what sort of animals are on this world," Azale reminded her. 

"Animals that could probably just come in and eat us while we sleep anyway," Lena argued. 

"We'll take watches. We're not stupid," Manifel snapped. 

"Easier to defend a closed area, too," Theryn commented. 

"I... oh, fine... doubt I'll be able to sleep... probably a bad idea..." murmured Lena almost inaudibly. 

Azale climbed into the large pyramid. The entryway was only five feet high, so he had to duck a bit on the way in. The rest of us ducked in after him. There was a short tunnel followed by a large atrium, with slits in the ceiling letting in what little light remained in the day. Carven statues and pillars adorned the room, and another passageway lead deeper into the pyramid. Lena still looked very uncomfortable. But that could be partly from mana deprivation, as it was starting to get to me as well. 

Theryn looked around appraising and said, "It'll suffice." 

"Should be fine for defending," Manifel said. "That doorway is a choke point two men could hold against a bloody army. Well, most doorways are." 

Azale said, "It's the only real entrance, too. It could also serve to trap us in here, if we aren't careful. There seems to be tunnels underneath this as well, though." 

Manifel sighed. "I'll scout out the tunnels once we're settled." 

Theryn said, "I'll watch the door." 

Quietly, I curled up beneath a statue and was asleep within minutes.


	14. A Catalyst With a Weird Sense of Humor

The others continued on while I was asleep, oblivious. 

"I'll scout, too," Soli volunteered. 

Azale said, "You'll need my eyes, too." 

"I can see in the dark, and Azale's a Seeker. You stay here, Soliaron," said Manifel. 

Soliaron nodded. Lena just sat in a corner and curled up. Azale headed toward the tunnel leading deeper into the pyramid. 

Manifel joined him. "We'll mostly have to trust your eyes." 

"I'm glad something at least still works," Azale said in relief. 

Manifel, being the illusionist of the bunch, tried conjuring a small light, to no avail. "Weird. So, do these tunnels have an exit? Or just go into deeper chambers?" 

The tunnel was narrow and lead into an inner sanctum with something resembling an altar. There was a staircase leading down behind the altar. 

"I'm starting to think this place is inhabited by dwarves," Azale commented, looking around at the short architecture. "I can't tell, too much rock in the way." 

"Let's keep going," Manifel said. 

Azale headed down the staircase, glad at least that this one was high enough that he didn't have to duck. Manifel kept his sword in hand, cautious. He half-expected something to jump off the wall and attack them. The stairs wound down to another tunnel underneath the pyramid, with other corridors branching off in other directions. There wasn't much dust down there. 

"Your choice of path," Manifel said to Azale. "I'd rather not split up." 

"Let's keep going straight," Azale answered. "The others dead-end." 

"Okay, I trust you." They continued on. 

"I think this is some sort of burial chamber," Azale commented. "There's coffins with skeletons in those chambers." 

"Were they all short?" Manifel asked. 

"Four feet on average, I'd say," Azale replied. "But they aren't built like dwarves. They're much thinner." 

"Ah," Manifel said. "Weird." 

"Gnomes, maybe," Azale considered, "but if they were gnomes, we'd have heard the explosions a mile off." 

"Maybe," Manifel commented. "Or probably something we've never encountered." 

"Perhaps," Azale said. The tunnel came to another staircase after a bit, the dust thicker there. 

"Can you tell yet if these tunnels lead to an outside exit?" Manifel asked as they climbed down the stairs. 

"It looks more rough-hewn after this point, I think they lead into a natural cave system here," Azale observed. "I don't know why they'd bother making the tunnel leading into it, unless there's something else down here." 

"Do we need to go further, or do we go back to check on the others?" asked the drow. "We just need to know if there's a way out, and it seems there probably is." 

"Either that or there's a monster trapped down here or something. Best not to make any assumptions," Azale said. "I rather doubt that, though. But don't quote me on that." 

"Heh," Manifel asid "If we get to a point where we have to retreat, we're screwed anyway, right?" 

"Heh," Azale commented. "Well, at least if they hear our bloodcurdling screams from down here, they'll know to run, right?" 

"You're the stupidest person I know," Manifel said dryly. "Yes, let's keep going." Azale headed down the stairs, snickering. "If this _is_ one of Jami's plots, I'm so fucked." 

"If it is, we already were anyway." 

"You?" Manifel raised an eyebrow. "You're on his side." 

"Mmmph," Azale grunted. "I was only on his side because he put a block in my mind against breaking the bond he had on me. And probably other things as well." 

"No, before that," said Manifel. "In that war with my people." 

"That." Azale grunted, peering ahead, trying to make sense of the tunnels. 

"You chose to follow him at some point, at least. He probably remembers it." Manifel pointed out. "And I was the one you were both trying to kill." 

"He told us all that Nero's army was trying to kill all drow," Azale said flatly. 

"Right," Manifel muttered. "A man employing and trusting drow, bent on their extermination?" 

"And also claimed those drow were deluded and controlled, somehow," Azale added. 

"But you believed him." 

"Can you blame me? I was _eight_," Azale said defensively. 

"Then you met Nero and were going to be on his side. Right?" Manifel asked. "What then?" 

"Then Cantori gave us away." 

"All of you together should have been able to handle him," he said. 

"Should, yes. Lomolen..." Azale trailed off. 

"Look, I guess it doesn't matter," Manifel said. The tunnels wound off into a natural cave system, dark water dripping from above. 

"It matters," Azale said. 

"All it means is that when Jami leaps out from behind a rock and shouts 'Boo!', you're not going to turn around and laugh at me, but instead be crapping your pants as well." 

"Pretty much," Azale said ruefully. "He knows I tried to break free of his control." 

"Why are we even trying?" Manifel wondered, sighing.. "We're powerless here, effectively." 

"But if he were going to do something, why hasn't he already?" 

"Well, we're obviously sweating over it," Manifel pointed out. 

"Why bring us _here_?" Azale asked. 

"He's patient. I mean, most generals are." Manifel said. "Where else could we feel entirely helpless? If he can channel here and we can't, he can take on all seven of us at once." 

"If." Azale crept through the dark tunnels, trying to see if it comes out somewhere. Manifel kept close behind him. 

"That jittery Warder seemed to think he could." 

"She's paranoid," Azale scoffed. 

"Why?" 

"She's like, his former girlfriend, or something," Azale explained. 

"Did she snub him or something?" Manifel asked. 

"He did bad things to her, I think," Azale said quietly. 

"Oh... ouch..." 

"I honestly don't believe Jami is a true catalyst. Zarnith would have known if he were." 

"Alternatively, though, Jami could have shoved us here and abandoned us," Manifel commented. "Is that any better?" 

"Somewhat." Azale shrugged. "At least then it means he won't be popping up to screw us over while we're helpless." 

"No. Instead we get to age, and die, helpless, without ever using our power again," Manifel said. "Won't that be lovely." 

Azale shook his head. "Didn't you hear what Kithere wished for last competition?" 

"No. I didn't." 

"She wished for elves to be immortal again," Azale explained. 

"Okay. We get to _not_ die and not use our power again. Won't that be lovely." 

Azale snickered. "How about we get to find a way off this damnable place?" 

"Has anyone _tried_ just Travelling?" 

"I think I've got the strongest Motion of any of us. And it won't work," Azale said. Manifel sighed. "There's the way out." Azlae pointed ahead. "It goes back to the surface in some hills east of here." 

"How far off is it?" Manifel asked. 

"Maybe a mile from the pyramid," Azale estimated. 

"Alright. And there's no sort of huge, clawed beast guarding it?" 

Azale shook his head. "Seems to be pretty well-concealed as far as I can tell." 

"Excellent. We should head back towards the others." 

Azale nods. They turned and headed back toward the surface again. 

"Maybe if we find some sort of mana well, we'll be able to use that to teleport," Azale said. "Or if there's a catalyst among the mensch here. That's how Sedder got off Terra during the Elkandu Crisis." 

"We're going to have to try," Manifel said. 

"I can still see auras, too," Azale observed. "But I can't scry. It's something, at least." 

Manifel sighed. "The whole thing is damned hopeless." 

Azale rambled, "It's really more likely to find a true catalyst on a mana-dead world, I'd think, because it's more noticable, since they'd be the only ones that can use magic..." 

"You'd know better than I." Manifel shrugged. 

"So if we find somebody that can do magic..." 

"Of course, Zarnith's several hundred years old from what I understand, and hasn't ever seen many," Manifel pointed out. 

"Still. There's gotta be some way." 

"Sometimes there's just no chance." 

Azale hmphed. "There's always a chance." 

"Some chance. Sure," Manifel admitted reluctantly. 

"Even if it's a wild, inasne chance." 

"What I wonder is, why'd we all get teleported here _together_?" Manifel wondered. "It'd be a hell of a lot more annoying if we were split up." 

"I think somebody or another is fooling with us," Azale commented. "Has to be. And most likely, that person is capable of getting us back." 

Manifel pauses a moment, then yelled rather loudly back behind them, "YOU NOW, THIS ISN'T THAT FUCKING IMPRESSIVE. CAN I PLEASE JUST GET A FUCKING EXPLANATION?" 

His voice echoed a few times. The tried and true method of getting the attention of powerful mages was to yell at the top of one's lungs. Manifel shrugged, turns, and kept going. Then they noticed a small pink rabbit before them. They stopped in their tracks and blinked. 

"Uh..." Azale went. 

Manifel glanced at Azale. "Was this here before?" 

"No. I just saw some motion magic." 

Manifel swore. "So one can only logically assume we're being fucked with." 

They stared at the rabbit as if expecting it to go berserk and ripped out their throats, but it just sat there calmly looking at them. 

"By a catalyst wtih a weird sense of humor," Azale said dryly. "SARDILL!' 

The rabbit hopped off and disappeared. "Lovely," Manifel drawled. 

"At least it's not Jami," Azale said. "Though I'm not sure it's that much of an improvement." 

"Hey, Jami didn't curse my fucking race." 

"At least he removed it," Azale pointed out. 

"After a few hundred years," Manifel countered. 

"I think he just forgot about it." 

"Lovely." He sighs, then started going towards the others again. 

They reached the catacombs again and climbed up the stairs. 

"Everything's going great then I get abducted by a mad catalyst, is that it?" Manifel muttered. "Bloody hell." 

"Bet we're in a time field, too, if Shazmar hasn't yoinked us out by now. I had a match in Mind today," Azale commented. 

"Hmm. Let's try this. SHAZMAR!" 

"What?" a small voice said. That didn't sound particularly impressive or godly. 

"Erm," Manifel asked. "What the hell is going on?" 

The small five year old elf boy appeared in front of them. "What do you mean?" 

"Apparently something is going on and I, for one, am fairly confused," Manifel said. 

"Well, yes, things are generally going on," Shazmar said obliquely. 

"Something that is somewhat more bizzare than usual?" Manifel pressed. 

"Though I'm not sure why you picked this spot for a vacation," Shazmar said. 

"We _didn't_." 

"Oh. Okay." 

"You're the sort of nice benevolent God who gives people free trips out of mana-dead planes they got lost on, right?" Manifel asked. 

"I'm sure you'll be back in time for your matches today, though," Shazmar said. 

"That's less than heartening you know," Manifel pointed out. 

"At the present time differential it'll only be 6 weeks." 

"That's quite a while." Manifel paused. "Okay, not to you." 

"And that for your omnimancy match in 6 hours." Shazmar smiles. Azale groaned. 

"Then you're not that sort of nice benevolent God," Manifel said. 

"Benevolent? What's that?" 

"This is one fucked up universe," Manifel muttered. 

"I'm sure you'll be fine," Shazmar said with a smile. 

Azale said, "Shazmar." 

"Sure by means of prophecy, and fine by means of unhurt and not traumatized?" Manifel asked. "Or just saying to to reassure me?" 

"Think of it as a vacation," Shazmar said. "Sardill wouldn't want to break his playthings." 

Manifel shuddered. "Terrific." 

Azale rolled his eyes. "This is stupid." 

"Very," Manifel agreed. 

"Besides, even if you do get killed, I'll just resurrect you for your matches. Nobody _ever_ misses a match," Shazmar said cheerfully. 

"Somehow, that isn't very comforting," Azale said. 

"Of course, after the match, we might get teleported right back here," Manifel said. 

"No, you get teleported to the recovery room, of course," Shazmar said. 

"I mean in the hours following it," Manifel said. 

"That's not my business," Shazmar replied. 

Manifel sighed hopelessly. "Well, thanks for not being helpful, anyway. 

Shazmar gave them both mints and disappeared. 

Azale says, "Maybe if we swear at him loud enough he'll put us out of our misery." 

"Hmm. Can you stab me in such a crucial spot that I can slit your throat before I die? 

Azale ate his mint. Manifel popped his in his mouth as well, not knowing where his next meal would be coming from. Not feeling particularly terrific, they climbed back up the stairs and went out into the atrium where the others were sleeping. 

Theryn saw them return and asked quietly, so as not to wake the others, "Find anything interesting?" 

"It _is_ a time field," Manifel answered. "A week here to an hour there. So about one-seventy or one-eighty to one. So a lot." 

"Lovely," Theryn muttered. 

"Apparently we're here by the invitation of Sardill," Manifel added. "Apparently." 

Lena moaned softly. 

"Mmh," Theryn murmured, turning back to watch the door. "The question is _why_?" 

"Hell if I know. Ask him. I'm going to sleep," Manifel said dejectedly. "I know when I'm beat. Just take it as it fucking comes." 

Azale said, "This is so amazingly stupid it's beyond words." He curled up to sleep as well, Shai snuggling up close to him. 

Lena babbled unhappily, "It's not stupid, he can and will kill us. Or worse, or something. He's insane! Or was. Or at least acts like he is..." 

Theryn said, "If he were going to kill us, he would have by now." 

"No, just anticipation." Lena halted unsteadily, looking around fearfully. "And he's probably watching us, listening to us, because he can, and he probably thinks it's funny." 

"Forget it!" Lena cried. "I'm sleeping outside. I don't like it in here, so closed in." She got up and headed for the entrance. 

Theryn told her, "Just go to sleep already." 

A shaft of moonlight fell in through one of the windows as a cloud moves out of the way. "I can't," Lena said. "I'll be outside." 

Theryn said, "Wait!" 

She pushed past Theryn. Outside, Lena saw a group of five short, skinny humanoids. She decided heading back inside is a good idea. She didn't really _want_ to die. They spotted her in the moonlight and pointed to her. With surprising consideration for those inside, she decided to bolt for the jungle instead, where they came from. She was fast enough. She hoped. That would help surprisingly little if the humanoids had projectile weapons. 

They began babbling in some primitive language, and two of them follow after her. She ran, not even looking back. 

Theryn said, "Somebody's out there. Damnit." 

Manifel sighed. He hadn't fallen asleep yet. "Damnit. The elf girl is going to get herself killed." 

The three remaining natives were heading toward the pyramid. Manifel kicked Azale awake. 

Theryn looked out and said, "Three of them. They're unarmed, I think." 

Azale stirred awake slowly. Manifel said, "Just three? Azale, get up. We need to get these people. 

Azale said groggily, "What's going on?" He reached for his dagger. 

"Question them if we can, but at the very least manage to avoid getting killed," Manifel muttered. 

The two natives chased after Lena, babbling to her in some odd language. The leader came to the doorway and spoke in some odd language. 

Theryn said, "That may be difficult. I don't understand that odd langauge." 

"I've never disputed the usefulness of telepathy," Manifel said. "It'd be nice if we had some use of it right now." 

Lena still tried to reach the trees ahead of the natives. Their shouts didn't exactly seem angry, but it was difficult to tell. She still ran. She wouldn't risk it. They chased after her. Lena considered that death really _might_ be better than the alternative. 

Azale said, "No such luck. I can't probe them, and I don't recognize their langauge." 

"Okay, well, uh... then this is pretty useless," Manifel said. 

When she reached the jungle, they stop chasing her. The two of them turned and went back to the temple. Lena climbed up into a large tree. 

The leader bowed to Theryn. 

"Somehow, I doubt they're trying to kill us," Manifel said. 

Theryn said, "Unless bowing is a hostile gesture on this backwater plane." 

"They don't have weapons, either," Manifel pointed out. "And, clearly, can't channel." 

They were short, with dark yellow skin, and wearing leaves and bones and feathers. The two who went off after Lena returned and babble something to the leader. 

Manifel sighed. "Whatever. This is insane." The leader tried to come in. "Just let him. At this point, I don't care." 

Theryn moves out of the way, allowing the small yellow fellow to come in, gesturing and babbling at them. 

"Okay. So his body language is useless. That's good to know. I can't make out any of this," Manifel muttered. 

The fellow started bowing and chanting something unintelligble at them.


	15. Grab the Cheese and Run

Azale kicked me awake. I groaned and blinked, and looked around at the moonlit chamber. Some strange being was babbling in an odd dialect I didn't immediately recognize and gesturing at us. 

I blinked and muttered, "Huh? Wha?" 

"Yeah," Manifel said. "You understand a word this guy's saying?" 

I listened for a moment, and finally put it down as a dialect of Mibian, particularly with all the gestures. "Oh, yeah, sure." I attempted to piece together what he was saying. "Something about holy something and children of the moon." I glanced up at Manifel. "Uh, who is that guy anyway?" 

"Some native guy," Manifel answered. "Children of the moon? Is that some sort of stupid joke?" 

"He seems sincere and non-hostile," I told him. 

"Can we get a slightly more accurate translation and perhaps a dialogue going?" Manifel asked. 

"Well, I'll try," I cleared my throat, and attempted to converse a bit more with the yellow guy. 

"Well, that's sort of useful," Manifel muttered to Theryn. Theryn nodded faintly. "Hopefully he won't accidentally insult the fellow." 

I turned to the others and explained, "Uh, well, he apparently thinks we're some sort of gods or something." 

"Okay. That's fine," Manifel said. "So long as these people don't deeply dislike gods like I do right now." 

"He wants to take us back to his village and give us a feast," I said. 

"And he's not bullshitting?" 

"I sense no hostile intentions." 

"Sense?" Manifel raised an eyebrow. "Whatever. Too bad we lost that warder girl." 

"Yeah, I can still pick up their emotions apparently." 

"Weird. I can't do anything," Manifel said unhappily. 

The guys outside started babbling to us. I translated, "Lena climbed up a tree, they say." 

"Soli. Soli. Soli get up!" Manifel said. 

"Mrr?" 

"Yeah. You run fast, what with the four legs and all. Go find Lena in a tree somewhere and get her back here?" 

"Mrrrrrrrr... fine." 

I snickered. The natives started babbling in another ceremonial chant again. Soliaron raised himself slightly to stand on all four legs, and loped out to retrieve Lena. The natives bowed to him as he passed. 

Azale muttered, "The worst part isn't being stuck here. The worst part is kwowing we're just toys." 

"Don't let it bug you," Manifel advised him. "Ignorance is terrific." 

"Ignorance is bliss," Azale said. "If we didn't know we were really mages, it might not be so bad to be thought of as gods by some mensch." 

"That's what I mean," Manifel said. 

"And food sounds good," Azale commented. 

"They're going to treat us well, right?" Manifel shrugged. "Do what Shazmar said. It's a vacation." He paused. "Unless we get our heads chopped off. But we're not sure that's even going to happen, right?" 

Azale said, "If Zarnith can sense their emotions, I'd hope he would notice if they were going to dot hat." 

"Exactly," said Manifel. "So we're doing just fine, right? Very little point to just sitting here, scared." 

"May as well enjoy ourselves, right?" Azale said. 

"Exactly. We'll look pretty stupid later, but it's all good for now." The natives outside started chanting and dancing again. "I'd rather be exalted by some people who aren't quite so fucking primitive, though." 

"They can't be that bad, if they built these pyramids," Azale pointed out. 

The leader headed for the door and gestured for us to follow. 

"If." Manifel said. "Hey, we don't know. Let's go, though." 

We ducked down and climbed out of the large pyramid after the short yellow man. Outside, Soli and Lena were walking back up toward us at a slower pace. Lena still looked nervous and distrustful, though. She stared wide-eyed at the yellow-skinned men. I tried to converse with the natives a bit more. I was getting more used to the language, now that I'd figured out that it was a variant of Mibian. 

Theryn asked Lena, "You okay?" 

Lena replied, "As okay as anyone can be who was _abducted_ and is on a _manaless_ world, sure!" 

I muttered, "Damnit, they're describing all the food they're going to be serving. I'm hungry." 

"You, hungry?" Soli said. "I suppose not eating for several hundred years does that." 

The natives lead us off toward a path through the trees. Manifel kept an arm around Lena as they walk, mostly to keep her from bolting probably. She seemed happy to have someone seeming to protect her. We went down a fairly wide path through the jungle and ended up after a short time at a village in the forest. Shai kept close to Azale. After a while, we reached a village lit by three moons, silver, gold, and white. The village had brick buildings and paved roads. 

"Aren't the moons beautiful?" Shai whispered to Azale. Azale smiled. A bunch of yellow-skinned natives came out and started bowing to us. Shai giggled. "I could get used to this." 

With some words from the shaman, they immediately began preparing a huge feast. Manifel kept a hold on Lena, because she looked ready to run. 

"Zarnith," he said, "do these people have any such thing as a sedative?" Lena glared at Manifel but did stop shaking so much. 

I asked the shaman, carefully explaining what I meant. After his reply, I said, "Yeah." 

"We might need some," Manifel murmured. "I'll tell you if we do." 

Azale nodded. Lena stopped squeaking so much. She didn't want to be drugged up, most likely. Soliaron was generally staying close to Theryn. The natives prepared a huge feast and set it out on some wooden tables hastily brought out from somewhere into the square in the center of the village. 

"What kind of gods eat, anyway?" Shai asked Azale, giggling. 

Azale said, "The hungry kind." 

A lot of food was laid out. Bread, cheeses, vegetables, fruits, meats, and various drinks including juice, milk, beer, and water. Shai and Azale immediately went for the beer. I grabbed for the food, sampling each of the delicious treats as if I hadn't eaten in centuries, which I hadn't. The others did likewise, but Lena refused to eat. 

Theryn said, "At least they know how to eat." 

Soliaron giggled at me, and I blinked for a moment, noticing that food was dripping down my chin. I wiped it off and continued eating. The shaman bowed to Lena and offered her a goblet of some honey-colored stuff. Lena, doubtless wanting not to insult the shaman, accepted it, but didn't drink any. 

He said something in Mibian, and I told her between bites, "Go ahead, he's not trying to hurt you." 

"It's okay, I'm not thirsty," she said quietly. 

"You should be," I pointed out, "Elves can only survive a couple days without water." 

"I said I'm fine." The shaman babbled urgently to her. Lena squeaked, "What does he want?" 

"He wants you to drink it, because you're a moon goddess or something," I told her. 

"That's nice. No, thank you," Lena declined. The shaman began babbling angrily now, and I didn't catch most of it. "Damnit, it's not like I mean any disrespect!" 

"Uh, he says it's holy mead blessed under the light of the gold moon or some such," I stumbled through the translation. 

Various natives were looking at her expectantly. Lena glared at me, and took a sip. A small sip. She then sat down unsteadily. A dozen natives proceeded to bow to her, offering her flowers and fruit. 

Manifel, seeming glad she was taken care of, came over to get a bit more food as well, and sat down next to Theryn, who was eating in a somewhat more ladylike manner. Manifel ate with his hands. Soliaron at least sliced his food with his claws before eating it. I devoured probably an entire boar. 

Theryn said, "This place isn't so bad." 

"As far as backwater places with no magic go, yeah, it's pretty good," Manifel said. 

"Meh. At least a couple of us still have access to something," Theryn commented. "I don't seem to." 

"I don't, either." 

Soliaron mrred, "I can still dreamwalk, sort of." 

"Hey, Soli," Theryn wondered. "Do you think you can use that to contact somebody outside, somehow? Keolah or somebody?" 

"I can try, next time I sleep," Soli offered. Theryn nodded. "Would Keolah even be _able_ to get us out?" 

"Maybe," Theryn said. "If nothing else she could contact somebody else there who might..." 

"I can try." 

I said, "Failing all else, she could throw Harmony at us." 

"Mrr?" 

"What would that accomplish?" Manifel asked. 

"Yeah, apparently, Harmony can change without mana. At least herself. I saw her change when the dampening field was up." 

"Okay," Manifel said. "So we can be elephant-moose-emu-goats trapped on another world." 

"Hey, maybe if she annoys Sardill enough, he'll send us back," I said. 

Azale leaned over and says, "Hey, if we're here for Sardill's entertainment, how about we just, be boring?" The natives overheard the name Sardill and immediately went quiet and stared at Azale. "What?" he said indignantly. 

"Uhhh..." Manifel blinked. 

"Azale, I really think this is a setup," Shai said. 

The leader babbled a bit, and I translated, "Apparently, they think you shouldn't speak the name of the 'Dark Lord' and think you should go purify yourself." 

"Dark Lord?" Manifel choked out between laughs, "This is absolutely the stupidest thing I have ever seen!" 

Azale said, "Purify myself? 

"Purify by _sex_?" Shai asked with a grin. "C'mon, I'm a goddess of the moon, I can flush the evil spirits out of you." 

I talked with the shaman a bit, and said, "By stripping naked and singing the holy chant of purification under the waterfall of life." 

Manifel just continued laughing. Shai looked a bit disappointed. 

Azale said, "Riiight..." He kissed Shai. The natives gasped in shock. Shai kissed Azale back. 

Theryn said, "I wonder if there's any sane people on this plane, that speak a normal language." 

"Maybe I could get the language from Zarnith from his dreams," Soliaron said. 

I said, "Now they're babbling about the unholy exchange of saliva." 

Azale said, "Can we get this food to go and find some sane people?" 

"I agree," Manifel said. 

I promptly began to pick up as much food as I could carry. 

"I didn't mean that literally." Azale said. 

Shai sighed. "I like it here." 

I talked with the leader a bit and commented, "You know what? I think we'd better leave before they decide the penalty for belching is death." 

"_WHAT?_" Manifel shouted. "Yeah, leaving sounds good." 

I stood up balancing a large quantity of cheese, fruits, and sausages, and headed for the jungle. The natives just stared at me. 

"What, we're just going to steal the food?" Soli asked. "Won't they, like, care?" 

I said, "Not if we leave fast enough! Besides, we'vea lready eaten half of it anyawy." 

"Lena's, uhm, not sure, ready to travel," Manifel observed. 

"Carry her then," I suggested. 

Azale proceeded to grab some more food as Manifel picked up the barely-conscious Lena and headed for the trees with her. The natives started yelling and bringing out machetes. 

"Definitely time to leave," Azale commented. 

Manifel swore fluently, holding onto Lena tightly and breaking into a run. Theryn grabbed some cheese and made for the trees. Various guys brandishing machetes chased after us violently. Soliaron ran just behind Theryn. The natives stopped at the edge of the trees. The natives stood at the edge of the trees and shouted various things in their weird language at us. 

"Why don't they follow?" Shai asked Azale. 

Azale said, "Hell if i know." 

"This is stupid. Can we please just go to sleep? Here?" Manifel said. 

"I don't give a damn," I muttered. 

Manifel put Lena down. Azale sat munching on a piece of cheese and peering off at the natives that weren't following. 

"We can only assume that if they don't come in the forest, they have a damned good reason," Manifel said. "That's not good." 

"If they don't come into the trees, where do they get their food? I didn't see any crops or livestock or anything," Azale commented. 

"Weird," Manifel commented. 

"Something isn't right here." 

"What was your first clue?" Manifel asked. Azale snickered. "Whatever. I'm damned tired. Goodnight." 

Azale nodded in agreement, and dozed off under a tree. Theryn sighed. I continued to eat. 

Soliaron mrred, "Theryn, you need some sleep." 

Theryn said, "This is stupid. Are they just going to curl up and give up?" 

"I know it is. I need to try to contact Keolah." Soliaron nodded and curled up on the ground, wrapping his tail around his body. He was asleep within moments. 

"Zarnith, I think you're on watch to make sure no one tries to eat us while we sleep," Manifel muttered before he went to sleep. 

I just nodded and continued to eat cheese. A light rain began falling, water dripping down off the leaves overhead, and I protected the food with a cloak, seeing as I wasn't sure what other food we'd get anytime soon.


	16. Murphy's Law Doesn't Work That Way

The sun was well up by the time the others woke. Soliaron was irritable when he woke up. He slicked water out of his fur, and tried to dry out in the sun. Theryn groaned and woke up, blinking. Lena was fairly undrugged come morning, but at least rather quiet compared to the day before. 

Soliaron said, "Does anyone have such thing as a comb?" 

Azale muttered, "I don't suppose anyone had any magic items on them?" 

"No. I generally don't carry such things expecting to..." Soli trailed off. 

Theryn said, "I think I've still got some gems, but I don't know what good they'd be..." 

"Might as well try," Soli said. 

Theryn pulled out a handful of gems from her pocket. Azale rubbed his eyes. She tried to channel into them for a moment, and it got cold for a moment. 

"That you, Theryn?" Manifel asked. 

Theryn said, "I think so." 

"Well, that gets us closer to not being absolutely pathetic," Manifel muttered. 

"It's a start, I suppose." Theryn sighs and put the gems safely away. 

Soliaron groomed himself. Azale said, "I think we should go give Sardill a piece of our mind. Er, figuratively." 

"Yeah," Lena agreed. 

"Wherever he might be hanging out." 

"After all I did for him, he sticks me on a world with insane savages," Lena muttered. "Shout his name really loud and see if he shows up. If he doesn't, we'll go look for him." 

Azale nodded. "Good idea. SARDILL!!!" A piece of cheese fell on Azale's head. 

"Damnit, I know you're watching and listening!" Lena said. "There's no fucking point in this! You obviously want us for something, just tell us, damnit!" A sign fell from above and plants itself in the ground. It was an arrow. "Better," she said more quietly. "Even if it's still not that convenient." 

"Well, either he's hanging out in that direction, or there's a pit full of poisonous vipers that way/" A snake fell on Azale's head. He jumped and freaked out until he realized it was made of rubber. "Very fucking funny, Sardill." Azale threw it away. 

"We might as well follow it," Lena said. "If he wants us to go that way, he'll find some way to make us do it anyway." 

"Come on. Wake everyone up, we'll go," said Manifel. 

Soliaron, as a result of having his wet fur drying, was looking slightly poofy today. I gathered up what food we had left into a makeshift pack. Theryn sighed and stood up and started heading that way. The rest of us followed. There was a convinient path leading that way. So we walked. After a while, we came to a river with a stone bridge. 

"I'll bet any one of you that bridge collapses once we're all on it," Manifel said. "Furthermore, I bet you that since I mentioned it, it won't happen. And that, having voiced that assumption, the bridge will indeed collapse. Who feels like getting wet today?" 

"You're rather pessimistic," Soliaron observed. 

"I'm afraid Murphy's Law doesn't quite work that way," Azale commented. "Though seeing as this is Sardill we're talking about, anything could happen." 

"Murphy?" asked Soliaron. 

"Nevermind." Azale shrugged. "I don't really know just who Murphy was, but he had this law that stated if anything can go wrong, it will." 

"You know what? Great." Manifel just headed across. 

Azale and Shai went after him, and the rest of us followed. We watched in anticipation, but our premonitions came to naught as the bridge thereby failed to do anything spectacular upon our crossing. On the other side of the bridge, there was another arrow-shaped sign pointing off into the jungle. Manifel lead us after it without making another sarcastic comment. 

Then, after walking along that path for a while, we came, spectacularly, to a brick wall in the middle of the jungle. It was ten feet high and covered with vines, except that the spot at the end of the trail was clear. 

Azale said, "What is this shit? Are we supposed to tap the right brick or say a stupid password or soemthing?" 

"You know," Lena said, "This is pretty fucking stupid, Sardill. I thought you had better things to do with your time than create large and useless puzzles." 

A sign appeared on the wall. It read, "Come On Inn." 

"Maybe we could just stand on each others shoulders and climb over?" Shai said. 

There were sounds of people laughing from behind the wall, as if playing. 

"Or climb a tree. Or a vine, for that matter," Azale said. 

"Anyone tried walking through it on the chance it might be an illusion?" Soliaron asked. 

Azale poked the wall. "Seems solid to me. Though it could be just an inverted solid illusion." 

Soliaron began climbing a tree, planning to just climb over the wall. "Zarnith, get up here, you'd love to see this!" 

I raised an eyebrow, and climbed another tree as well. On the other side of the wall, I saw what appeared to be an elvish nudist colony, with various naked bodies playing volleyball and swimming. "Whoa..." 

Azale said, "Uh, guys? I can't see through this wall." 

"There's magic in it, then," Lena said. "Can anyone tap it?" 

"Here," Manifel said. "Azale, boy, I'll help lift you over the wall." Azale nodded. "Just lean against the wall for balance and step onto my hands, I'll push you up." Azale got a boost up and pulled himself up to sit atop the wall. 

"It's an illusion," he said. 

"What is?" Manifel askd. 

I commented, "A damn fine looking illusion if you ask me!" 

Azale offered to help Manifel up. Manifel shook his head. "Everyone else has to get up first. Shai, c'mere." With some trouble, Shai gets on the wall. 

Lena prefered to just climb a nearby tree to get up. I tried to swing on a vine, and ended up hitting the wall face-first. Ouch. "Well, that didn't work..." 

"You're an idiot, Zarnith," Manifel muttered. "Either climb that tree Lena used, or let me lift you up." 

I tried to just climb one of the vines on the wall. Soliaron carefully, with the aid of his claws, managed to climb between branches and navigate himself onto the wall. 

Azale murmured, "All illusions..." Soliaron watched unashamedly. 

"Give me a hand up, Azale?" Manifel asked. Azale nodded, and helped him up. "Okay. Other side, now?" 

The illusionary nude elves were ignoring us. 

"Kitties always land on their feet," Shai said brightly, and gave Soliaron a nudge. MRRRROOOOOOOW! Thud. 

Azale swuns himself over to the other side and dropped down. Manifel dropped down easily. "Anyone need a catch? Theryn?" Lena hang-dropped. 

Theryn said, "I'm fine." She lightly dropped to the ground. Manifel smiled at her. 

"Zarnith, Shai, come on," Soliaron said. I dropped down as well. 

Azale says, "Okay, don't move." 

"Okay. Okay. Why?" Manifel said. 

"There's a ledge two meters away from the wall." 

"Huh?" 

"It drops down into a pit, with water at the bottom." Azale walked to the edge of it, hidden by illusion. 

"Ouch. We're going to have a joyful time getting back up, aren't we." 

"There's ... a bridge over here," Azale said, pointing. 

"Oh? Okay then." 

"I think Sardill is playing games with us." 

"Took you that long?" Manifel asked. He was trying to convince Shai, who seemed to be afraid of heights, to come down. 

Azale walked over to the apaprent bridge, which was in the middle of an illusionary swimming pool. He actually ended up at the diving board. 

"This from a man who knows we have an inborn seeker with us. What's the point?" Lena asked. 

"Be warned if there's any inverted illusions, I wont be able to pick them up so easily," Azale pointed out. 

The rest of the group went to where Azale is, after Shai finally got down. 

"Okay, where exactly do we walk?" Manifel asked. 

Azale indicated where the edges of the bridge were. Manifel began very slowly walking across. 

"It goes five meters in that direction." Azale headed across the bridge. 

Once on the other side, there appeared to be some sort of building. "In we go?" Manifel asked. 

"There, the phone booth is the doorway. The door is a wall." 

"Weird enough." Manifel probably didn't even know what a phone booth _was_. 

Azale entered the phone booth and disappeared through the back. Manifel shrugged, and follows. Once inside, we found themselves in a large lobby. Azale said, "No more illusions." There was an elevator, a reception desk, and a ceiling fan. The floor was covered with a mosaic smiley face. 

"So where from here?" 

"The elevator, I suppose," Azale said. 

"Okaaaay." 

We crowded into the elevator. There were only three buttons. One of them was blue, one was green, and one was pink. 

"I'd hit the pink one," Lena suggested. 

Azale shrugged and pressed it, since he was closest. The doors slid closed with a soft whoosh. Our feet were pressed against the floor as the elevator went up. The doors slid open to reveal a large ornate office. With lots of beer cans, cheese, and chocolate. There was a large black swivel chair facing away from them. Manifel cautiously stepped out of the elevator. 

"Come in, come in. Would you like a beer?" asked a voice from behind the chair. 

"Sure, beer is good," Shai said. 

A pack of beer appeared in front of us. Shai was not slow about getting herself one. Azale grabbed one also. Soliaron got one for himself and one for Theryn. Even Lena got a can, though she only drank a little bit. 

"Have some cheese and cookies and candy too," Sardill waved a hand from behind the chair. 

Manifel again muttered that this was stupid. Azale said, "Maybe you'd like to tell us why you brought us here?" 

Sardill swiveled around in his chair. In addition to his usual odd appearance of a pale bald head and dyed eyebrows, he had a goatee, dyed black as well. It looked absolutely stupid. He was wearing all black clothing, as well. Lena was quiet and stared at the floor. 

"Ah, yes, welcome," Sardill said. "I merely wished to extend my hospitality toward some wayward travellers." 

Azale said, "The plane, damnit, not the building." 

"Oh, yes, that." 

I proceeded to avail myself of the variety of delicious cookies that Sardill had offered to us. There was chocolate chip, oatmeal raisin, peanut butter, vanilla, and a nifty kind with chocolate stripes over a minty type cookie that was extremely delicious, and I believe I must have eaten at least thirty of them, they were so incredibly scrumptious. I almost missed the conversation as I was chewing and crunching through the cookies. 

"I hope your sense of irony isn't that bad. I hope this isn't the world I made you," Lena said. 

Sardill said, "Of course not. This is merely some random plane I felt like amusing myself on for a while. And I got bored." 

Azale said, "You brought us here against our will, made us run through the jungle chased by crazy people with machetes, climb through an obstacle course of illusions, because you were BORED?" 

"Nothing more dangerous than a bored mage," Soliaron observed. 

Saridll said, "Well, yes, maybe. Mensch are so boring." 

"Mensch can learn to channel, you know," Shai said. "Well, not _here_, but most places, I mean. Err, sir." 

"All the great wars are done and gone," Sardill droned on, reminiscing. 

"Wars aren't that interesting," Manifel grunted. 

"Wars are more interesting than unwars," Sardill replied. The others blinked at him, uncertain how to reply to that. 

Azale sighed. "Was there some point to all this?" 

"Yeah, I'm sure there's some more interesting group of people you might have abducted," Manifel said dryly. 

"Oh, no, you are all most interesting," Sardill said. Lena appeared rather unhappy. Sardill looked at Lena and said, "Hey, baby, wanna fuck?" 

Lena blinked. "I thought you were.. uh... gay? I mean, last time, you said..." 

"Uhh..." 

"Erm." Lena hesitated. "It's okay, I guess. Your shoulders are sexy as ever." 

Sardill said, "Well, i didn't think Manifel was going to be too interested in..." 

Manifel's eyes went wide. "Erm, no, no-no..." 

Sardill grinned, showing his sharpened teeth. Lena peered at him. "Are you like, serious, or anything?" 

Azale smirked. Sardill said, "No, I'm Sardill." 

"Just making sure," Lena said uncertainly. "I guess." 

"And I've never been more seriously in my life," he smiled at her. 

She looked at him uncertainly, but I sensed only sincerity from him. And a good deal of horniness from both of them. I said quietly, "My gosh, I think he means it." 

"Okay," Lena said. "Do we have to do it in front of them, though?" 

Sardill laughed. "No, no." He pressed a button and a bookshelf moved aside, revealing a gaudy bedroom. 

"Okay." She giggled. 

Sardill stood and headed into the bedroom, Lena following him inside. The bookshelf closed again behind them. I stared off after them. 

Manifel scratched the back of his head. "I don't think any of us expected that." 

"No, defintely not," I said. "What kind of a pickup line was that?" 

"It worked." Manifel shrugged. 

"I should try it sometime," I commented. 

"It might only work for extremely powerful captors upon their paranoid victims, but I'm not sure." 

"Nuh-huh. She had the hots for him, I tell you," I said. 

"And you know this how?" Manifel raised an eyebrow. 

"I, uh, picked up on her emotional state!" 

"What I want to know is, who has a bedroom built in behind their office?" Soliaron asked. 

"He's Sardill," I said. "He can put his bedroom wherever he wants." 

"S'pose so," Soli said. "No sane architect would tell him no." 

I turned to Shai, "Hey, baby--" Azale glares at me. "--wanna cookie?" I held up a chocolate chip cookie. Shai giggled at me. 

"Hey baby, want to fuck?" Soliaron mrred to Theryn. 

Theryn giggled at Soli. "You serious?" 

"No, I'm-- okay. Whatever," Soli said. "Yes, I stand by my previous statement?" 

Theryn hugged him. He licked her. "Now, I doubt he has two bedrooms in his office, however," Theryn winked. 

"Mrr. I'll have to collect later, then," Soli said. Theryn giggled. 

I proceeded to partake of more of the delectible entrees laid about in the office. There was also a wide variety of types of cheese placed within the room, from exotic sharp cheeses, to strange ones that I could have sworn were dyed yellow, and even a tasty goat cheese spread. There were also some crackers handily set out for the consumption of the cheeses, and thus I chose various crispy crackers to enhance the delicious flavor of the cheeses. Sardill was certainly a great cheese conasseur to have applied such a wonderful selection of tasty treats to make available to his guests. There were so many tantalizing aromas and numerous flavors to entice the tastebuds. Oh, what I had missed out on during my time in the sword! 

Azale said, "I don't suppose he left any mana in here by any chance..." 

Shai drank beer. "This entire thing is really strange," she murmured to Azale. 

"You'd figure if he was using magic, there'd be a bit left over for us to use," Manifel said. 

I said between bites, "Probably." 

Soliaron mrred and tried to find a nice spot of floor to curl up on. 

"At least there's plenty of food," I said, crumbs falling from my mouth. 

"Cheese and candy and cookies. No meat," he mrred. I pulled out one of the sausages I had filched from the natives and tossed it to him. "Mrr." He put his paws on it and began to eat it. 

Theryn said, "Well, at least we aren't being chased by nutcases with machetes." 

"Mrr. We've got military professionals and a nice set of claws on our side, not to mention a few weapons. We'd be okay." 

"Stupid damned natives," Azale muttered. 

"Should bloody find some mana and blow them up," Shai mumbled. 

"That's be fun," Azale commented. "So Sardill put us through all that crap, just to get laid? Don't you think he could have just asked?" 

"I dunno. Maybe Lena was so happy that he wasn't Jami that she agreed to it," Shai said. Azale snickered. "Hey!" Shai said to Azale. "I mean, being with you originally was a good way for me to avoid Jami." 

"Everyone wants to avoid Jami," Azale commented. Manifel nodded in agreement. "Not such a bad idea, really." Shai opened yet another beer. Azale drank another also. 

"Why her, though?" Manifel asked. "Of all the women in the fucking universe, that jittery warder?" 

"Maybe Shazmar agreed to all this," Azale postulated. 

"Ugh, bloody Shazmar," Manifel muttered. 

I chuckled, and said, "Heh, oh they go way back." 

"Eh?" Manifel asked me. 

"Sardill and Lena," I explained. 

"Just weird," Manifel grumbled. "Okay. He fucks his old girlfriend. Why am I here?" 

"Well, not exactly..." 

"No. You said she was Jami's girlfriend earlier, right." 

"Yeah..." 

"I think I'll just have another beer and not attempt to understand this," Manifel said. "When we get back, I'll consult a fucking history book." 

"But they knew each other," I told him, then thought about what he just said. "Hmm, a fucking history book... The history of sex throughout the ages?" 

"I bet some fuck has written one of those, too. Ugh," Manifel grunted. "If I find one, I'll show it to you. But no." 

I snickered, and munched on another cookie, this one a tasty crumbly sandwich sort of cookie with some sort of cream smeared in between. Soliaron was napping quietly in the corner. 

Azale said, "So why did he bring the rest of us?" 

"Some sort of weird party reward for not letting Jami kill his whore this time around?" Manifel suggested. 

Azale said, "If he wanted to reward us, why did he make us hike through a jungle?" 

Theryn added, "And get chased by nutcases wtih machetes." 

"He did say he was bored," Manifel said. "We didn't get hurt, did we?" 

"True," Azale admitted. 

"I'd suggest that if you want to know, you ask him," Manifel suggested. "Speculation doesn't help solve these sorts of weird problems." 

"I will. Once he's... done." 

"Yes," Manifel agreed. "Best not to interrupt... that." 

"Crazy old man," Azale muttered. 

"Mmph." Manifel got another cookie to eat. 

Theryn yawned and curled up next to Soli's fuzzy, warm body. Shai was pretty drunk, and Azale was making a concerted effort to get that way also. Manifel found a chair to snooze in. 

After a while, the bookcase opened again. Lena straightened herself and goes out with him, looking to see how the others were doing. Azale was by that point happily drunk. I was still eating cookies, determined to not allow the chocolatey mint ones to go to waste. I smiled at them over a mouthful of crumbs. Lena fussed with her hair. 

Azale slurred, "Hey Shardy, why'dya bringush here anyway?" Shai giggles at him. 

Sardill said, "For fun." 

"Whoshe fun?" she asked overly loudly. 

"Everybody's?" Sardill said. 

"I'm havings fun," Shai said "BEER!" 

Sardill said, "It's a great vacation and an adventure!" 

"Ish fun," Shai said to Azale. 

Azale said, "Bu' wha' abou' the crashy guysh with machetesh?" 

"No, yoush got that wrong, itsh teh crash machetesh with guysh!" 

Sardill grabbed a beer. Lena was giggling. It is often far more fun to laugh at drunk people than to get drunk yourself. 

Azale said, "And cheeshe!..." 

"An' BEER! Notsho prim-tiv if they have beers." 

"But they're shtill shilly mana-dead menschy mensch..." 

"We're not mutsch betters, 'zale." 

"Am sho... Didya know your ribsh looksh funny?" 

"Ribsh?" slurred Shai. "Not funny." 

"An' your pancreash..." 

"Ooooooos." 

Azale giggled. 

I said to Lena, "Drunk people are funny, aren't they." 

Lena smiled at me. "Very." 

"Wanna cookie?" I asked. 

"Sure." I handed her a chocolate chip cookie. She took it and munches on it. "Thanks." 

Sardill said, "Now, that wasn't all so bad, was it?" 

"Not at all," Lena said, giggling. 

I commented, "Though a ltitle mana would be nice." 

Sardill said, "Oh, yeah, that might help..." He released some mana into the room. 

It felt like slipping into a hot, relaxing bath, the familiar and welcome tingle of mana all around me. Shai mmmmed. It's not the sort of thing a mage likes to be deprived of for long periods of time. Soliaron's tail twitched slightly but he didn't wake up. Being able to dreamwalk well again, I could only assume he was just falling into a deeper sleep. I yawned, and curled up to sleep as well.


	17. Saving the Universe, But Not Really

Eventually, we woke up. Soli and Theryn looked rather satisfied, giving one another knowing glances. Azale yawned and stretched, promptly channeling a bit of mana to cure the hangovers of anyone that had them. Manifel thanked him grumpily. Sardill drank beer. Lena nibbled on a piece of cheese. I grabbed another mint cookie and ate it. Having slept on the floor, Shai was going to great effort to fix her hair. I thought it odd that she would carry combs with her to distant planes. 

Azale said, "Well..." 

Sardill said, "That's a deep subject." 

Azale groaned. Shai giggled. It was funny, if only because it was stupid. 

"So what now?" Azale asked. 

"Yeah," Manifel said. "A nice vacation, but I'd like to be getting back now." 

"Ah, yes, the competition," Sardill said. "No, you ahven't missed anything.." 

"Well, no, but, I mean, there's rather a lot more going on back there," Manifel commented. 

"You mean it's boring here?" Sardill said. "Why, yes it is, why do you think I brought you." 

"Alternatively, you could just come to where we were," Manifel suggested. 

Sardill looked at him oddly. "Why would I do that?" 

"It gives you the... erm... joy of our company, without interferring as greatly with our lives." 

"Hmm." Sardill thought long and hard. Manifel scratched the back of his head. "Has Bob arrived yet?" 

"Who?" 

"Looks like so." Sardill raised his hand, forming an illusion of a middle-aged balding man. 

"Sidan's friend?" Soliaron asked. Theryn blinked for a moment, then laughed aloud. 

"What the hell?" asked Manifel. "That guy? That's your great catalyst that will beat you?" Theryn laughed hysterically. Lena remembered, then starts giggling too. Sardill made the illusion vanish. "This is stupid," Manifel muttered. 

Theryn said, "He's just a mensch. How could he possible.." 

"He _can_ channel," Soliaron said. "All mensch can, apparently." 

I said, "It's possible." 

"Yeah, I saw Sidan get a dozen randomly picked mensch to channel," Soliaron confirmed. "Apparently we were just overlooking something, or something." 

Theryn said, "Still, he won't be that strong with it, unless--" Realization dawns on her and her eyes widen. 

"Mrrrr," growled Soliaron. 

I said, "Exactly." 

"I don't like the idea of some random mensch being able to do that," Soliaron mrrd unhappily. 

Theryn murmured, "They don't know. There's not many who know..." 

Sardill said, "Oh, yes. That's why I brought you here. I forgot." Azale cast a withering glare at Sardill. 

"Hmm?" asked Manifel. 

Sardill said, "About the wishing for power and gemstone situation." 

"What about it?" 

I said, "The fact that any random mensch can become the most powerful mage in the universe with a little time and effort." 

"So? What does this have to do with _us_?" Manifel wondered. 

Sardill said, "It's more serious than you realize." 

"How serious?" Manifel asked. "And again, why us? Why not Keolah or Dante or someone?" 

"They'd not realize the situation by having been brought here," Sardill explained. 

"Hmm?" Manifel raised an eyebrow. 

Sardill went on, "The mana in the universe is not infinite. The more mages there are, the more mana is drawn out of other parts of the universe, leaving worlds. Like. This." 

"So you're saying if every average person can channel, eventually no one will be able to," Manifel said flatly. 

"More or less," Sardill said. 

Lena giggled. "Thinking with the good of the universe in mind? That's not like you." 

Sardill didn't answer that. "However, do you know where the mana comes from in the first place?" 

"No," Manifel said. "I suppose you intend to enlighten me?" 

"All mana in the universe comes from the Ethereal Plane. It leaks out into the worlds, but the bulk of the mana remains there. Now, if all that mana were drawn out through overuse, even I wouldn't be able to use magic, because I'd still ahve to draw it from there." 

"So why don't you just Curse all non-inborn mages to be incapable of channeling?" Manifel suggested. "Isn't that what you do, anyway?" 

"Also, if the Ethereal Plane were depleted, there would be no buffer between the universe an the Void," Sardill explained. "Because even that would not be sufficient, because inborn mages can still increase their power." 

"Then just what the _hell_ are you suggesting?" Manifel asked. 

Theryn looked a little guilty. 

Sardill said, "I'm not suggesting anything. I'm bringing up the point of discussion in an attempt to find a resolution." 

"With a Seeker, a Blood mage, some Chronomancer, a Dreamwalking cat, a walking and talking sword, a warder, and a crappy Illusionist." Manifel folded his arms across his chest. "Instead of people capable of doing anything about it." 

"Ah, but you see, there is a reason why I chose you," Sardill said. 

"What, because you can kill us if we aren't helpful?" 

"Keolah nor Dante would appreciate the magnitude of the problem, since they are catalysts." 

"Ishane?" Manifel asked. "He's a pretty big guy." 

"I don't like teppers." Sardill was grinning, so he couldn't be entirely seriously. 

"Great," Manifel muttered. "A fucking racist... argh." 

"I _created_ the teppers, you know," Sardill pointed out. 

"Failed experiement, or you just don't like Ishane in particular?" 

"Just as I created the drow," he added. 

"Mmph," Manifel grunted. 

"But, it isn't releavant," Sardill said. "You do get the point, right?" 

Manifel was getting rather annoyed. "Yeah. I guess." 

Sardill explained, "It's like, if you spread peanut butter too thin over too much bread, eventually you won't be able to taste the peanut butter." 

"That's stupid," Lena said. 

"Is it? If you only have one jar of peanut butter, you can't expect to spread it over twenty loaves of bread." 

"No, your analogy is just useless," Lena pointed out. 

"Oh. Right." 

"Okay, solution?" Manifel said. "Get that gnome and rabbit to shut up about mensch being able to channel. Effectively make everyone else forget they ever heard it. Then find a lot of magical gems and just stockpile them somewhere hidden." 

"It's only a temporary solution, though," Sardill said. "It won't help in the long run." 

" _Nothing_ helps in the long run," Manifel said. "As long as mages use mana, we lose some, right?" 

"No," Sardill said. "You don't lose mana." 

"You make absolutely no sense," Manifel muttered. 

"Mana doesn't get destroyed when you use magic," Sardill explained. 

"Okay, then what happens?" 

"Souls are made up of mana," Sardill said. 

"Okaaaay." 

"Some souls have more mana in them than others." 

"So mages using magic is okay, lots of mages having bigass souls isn't?" the drow asked. 

"Right. It's like, you don't eat the peanut butter... oh, I need a better analogy." 

"Yes," Manifel agreed. "Try that, first. Get back to me when you make some sense." 

"Hmmm..." Sardill pondered deeply. Soliaron purred and nuzzled Theryn. "Okay. How about this," Sardill said. 

"Do you first promise it makes sense?" Manifel askd. 

"Mana is like... heat. And it's all around. Right?" 

"Nope, I guess you don't," Manifel said, rolling his eyes. 

"And powerful mages are like big burning bonfires," Sardill went on. "Okay, nevermind." He thought for a minute. "Water. Okay? Mana is _water_. And people have water in their bodies, but when they drink it and cast spells, it doesn't get used up, cuz they just piss it out again." 

"Sardill, watch your language." Lena giggled. 

"But, if there's too many people drinking the water, there ends up not being enough to support them all faster than the piss can get purified?" 

"You're an idiot," Manifel muttered. "I get the idea. Just say it like it is, though. Sheesh." 

"Right. Okay," Sardill said. "There's mana all over the place. And when people use magic, they sort of just move it around a bit." 

"Okay," Manifel grunted. "And the problem is...?" 

"Mana stays in people's bodies," Sardill explained. "If all the mana is in people's bodies, nobody else can really use it, because there isn't any in the air." 

"Okay," Manifel said. "And?" 

"And if there isnt' that buffer of mana between us and the Void, we won't be able to Travel or anything either." 

"So you need there to be less mages," Manifel said. 

"It was never a problem until recently, when the side-effect of using gems and soulfire were re-discovered." 

"Soulfire's nasty," Shai said, shivering. 

"And that mana doesn't come back," Sardill added. 

"Oh, _ouch_... yeah, that's not good..." 

Manifel wanted to prove how stupid this all is. "Why don't you just ban soulfire like you banned time travel?" 

"Oh. Well. Yes. I can do that. But it won't solve the problem of mensch learning magic and the gem issue and wishing for power. Not to mention the custom planes. The mana in them has to come from somewhere." 

"We need to make people effectively forget mensch can learn magic," Soliaron mrred. 

"And then there's conjuration. It takes a lot of energy to create matter, you know..." 

"Theoretically, then, you could convert matter into energy," Lena said. 

"Theoretically," Sardill said. "What world do you propose I destroy in order to do that?" 

"Err... sorry, was just an idea. Never mind." 

Theryn looked at him skeptically. "Couldn't Shazmar do sometthing about it?" 

"When's the last time he helped anyone?" said Manifel. "SHAZMAR! Come here. Sardill's complaining and someone needs to attend to his bloody overcomplicated worries." 

Shazmar popped in behind Manifel and said, "You thought I just left you here for your detriment?" 

"Eh?" Manifel raised an eyebrow. 

"I would never do that," Shazmar said indignantly. 

Manifel said, "Yeah, but I intend to die before this ever becomes a problem, so it shouldn't be my worry." 

"You want to get killed?" Shazmar said. 

"No, but I accept it's going to happen." 

Sardill said, "There are people, myself included, who have been alive for over ten thousand years, and have never been killed." 

"I'm not that special," Manifel muttered. 

"Heh. Neither were any of us," Sardill said. "It just happened that way." 

"I'm bloody seventy years old and I never intended to live even _this_ long." 

Shazmar said, "What's the problem?" 

"Argh," went Manifel. Bloody insane overpowered fucking _stupid_ men. 

Shazmar said, "I don't see how people learning magic in a small area in the universe is going to affect universal mana levels anytime in the next million years." 

"See?" Manifel said to Sardill. 

"After all, when somebody dies, some of the mana in their soul returns to the Ethereal Plane anyway," Shazmar explained carefully. "I didn't set up this machine to break under stress." 

"Yeah," Manifel said. "Naturally you foresaw this happening, right?" 

Theryn said, "But if a lot of mages end up with a lot of power, they aren't that likely toa ctually die to redistribute it..." 

"I don't like the idea of stupid mensch who could beat me in a fight," Soliaron mrred. "I don't disagree with deterring it." 

"I am, of course, still considering disallowing wishes for power," Shazmar said, "or at least warning them of the conesequences thereof. But even knowing them, some will do it anyway." 

"Why allow it?" Soliaron said. "Make them work for it. Make them wish for something practical." 

"Like what?" Shazmar asked. 

"Uh... well, I don't know. They'll have to be inventive." 

"Besides. Sardill," Sardill said, turning to the albino again. "You do realize that most of the planes in the universe are infinite. Wouldn't it follow that there is infinite mana, then?" 

Manifel was laughing quietly. Sardill said, "There's no such thing as infinity." 

"Near enough that it doesn't matter," Manifel said. 

Shai added. "Besides, Shazmar's a nice guy, he wouldn't leave us manaless." 

Shazmar said, "Yes there is. Because I said there is. And I'm God." 

Shai giggled. Sardill said, "So why are there planes with no mana?" 

"Why the hell did you choose to be _on_ a plane with no mana?" Lena asked. 

Shazmar said, "Either because I made them that way, or because some idiot conjurer made it that way." 

Lena, inexplicably blushed. Sardill said, "Well... But won't it like, severely upset the balance of the universe or something if there's too many powerful mages?" 

"Probably," Manifel said. "But I think you'll still be able to beat most of them." 

"Bob will beat me," Sardill stated. 

"Well, good for Bob." Manifel said "I'll enjoy watching that." 

"Bob shall be the greatest mage in the universe," Sardill said firmly. 

Theryn giggled. 

"You could, alternatively, just kill him now," Manifel suggested. 

"Why would I do that?" Sardill wondered. 

"Because if you don't, you lose your right to complain about him beating you," Manifel said. 

"I wasn't cpomlaining," Sardill said. 

"Could have fooled me," said Manifel. 

"I was prophesizing," Sardill stated. 

"You're not a prophet," Lena pointed out. 

Sardill intoned, "At the Seventh Septennial Official Grand Elkandu Magic Competition, I shall meet my match, a catalyst worthy of my power. And his name shall be Bob." 

"No, you _might_ meet your match," Manifel said. "One of us could kill him before then." 

"It won't work," Sardill said. "He shall survive. And even if you kill him, he'll just get reborn anyway. For this WILL happen." 

Shazmar rolled his eyes. Manifel said, "Or I could make a big effort to make sure it doesn't." 

Shazmar said, "Have you ever heard the term 'self-fulfilling prophecy'?" 

"Me-me-me!" said Shai. 

Sardill said, "Well, damnit." 

Theryn smirked. Lena giggled. "Did you really _want_ someone to beat you?" 

Sardill said, "It would be a nice change. The competition is so boring if the outcome is certain." 

"Dante beat Keolah at Creation," Soli pointed out. "That wasn't _that_ expected." 

"And who would beat me?" 

"Dante?" suggested Shai. 

"Nah." Sardill waved a hand dismissively. 

"He's pretty powerful," Shai said. 

Theryn said, "Never know unless you try. I'm sure you could lose if you really put your mind to it." 

Manifel snickered. Sardill smirked, and said, "That's defeating the point." 

"Actually, your point was rendered stupid and useless," Manifel said. 

Sardill said, "What point?" 

"You tell me, I was never quite sure." 

"Er..." 

"Right," Manifel said. "Fight Dante or Bob and lose, but stop harassing us. Right? That's what you were going to decide." 

"I'm not harassing anyone," Sardill protested. 

"Really?" He smirked. 

"Not at all." 

"You base this on...?" 

"You could leave anytime." 

"Mmph," Manifel grunted. "S'pose I could now." 

Shazmar said, "Well..." 

"We were brought here to solve a nonexistant problem and listen to you whine about your future uncertain loss to a mensch." 

Sardill said, "Well, sure. Go on. Have fun." 

"Alright." And he Recalled. Shazmar diasppeared. 

Soliaron glanced at Theryn. Beer and cheese are all very good, but he wanted a nice long nap in the sun. Theryn said, "Yes, let's go." 

"Mrr." He Recalled too. She followed close behind. 

Lena was left wondering if their relationship is going to last more than just one night. Sardill smiled at her. She smiled back. 

"Is this how it's going to be, then?" Lena asked. 

Sardill said, "Is what?" 

"This. You and me." 

"What about it?" Sardill raised an eyebrow. 

"Is it going to last?" 

"Why shouldn't it?" he said. 

"I don't know," Lena said. "It should." 

"If you want it to," Sardill said. 

"If you do," she said. He smiled. "Why this world, of all worlds?" 

"We can go elsewhere if you like," he suggested. 

"It's uncomfortable, being here." 

"Do you have a preference?" 

"No, not really." 

"Then let's go." He teleported them elsewhere. 

Azale said, "They've got the right idea." He teleported himself and Shai out of there. 

I was left alone, still eating cookies, and it took me some time to realize that I was alone and they'd all left. With a shrug, I gathered up as many of the tasty treats as I could carry and teleported away myself.


	18. Awards, Rewards, and Cookies

Over the next several days, the competition continued. Most of those who had been taken on that unexpected vacation spoke little of it, but I believe they all grew a little closer because of it. Soli and Theryn certainly were closer than before, although I thought she just liked the feel of his soft, fuzzy fur and his warm, furry body. 

Sedder did end up filling the Stadium with jazma flowers, although the result wasn't quite what he expected, clearly. The humans rather enjoyed the experience, and most of the elves weren't affected at all. Had their blood really become so diluted that the true elvishness of them was lost in the recesses of time, or had he merely protected them all from the effects of the pollen? I certainly wasn't affected. 

The Mental Free-For-All event came shortly, and to the surprise of many, Catalina fell early to a group attack. Azale ended up mopping up easily, gaining control of six others and being the last standing independently. It was a landslide victory, although not completely unexpected, as such a one, if gaining mental control of others, would therefore continue to excel ahead. 

The Matter event was drawing to a close, with Min and Rukaba being tied in the lead, each of them having only one loss to four wins. It ended up with a tiebreaker match, and was very tense. Both of them really wanted to win. But in the end, Rukaba had learned hir lesson, and didn't fall for Min's technological tricks this time. Sie went prepared with high-tech armor of hir own, and emerged victorious by encasing Min in molybdenum. 

Min wasn't happy at all about her loss, as she hadn't won any other events, either. Even the Pairs event she had gone into with Sedder had fallen to Dante and Nalash, and the Team event had gone to the Conclave group. The last event on the last day was the big Ominmancy Free-For-All, and I had opted not to participate in this one, even though I could easily have joined up for the hell of it. I feared, however, that Min was up to something, and decided to sit it out instead. 

My premonitions proved quite accurate, however. When the participants for the Free-For-All were teleported into the arena, I saw that Min was carrying a large metallic device. The others all looked oddly at her, wondering just what it was she was up to. When Shazmar announced them to begin, Min detonated the device, a powerful flash of white light flooding the arena, instantly vaporizing all the competitors, including Min. The shock of the explosion was contained by the heavy wards surrounding the arena. 

"Uh, well," Shazmar's voice said. He re-formed their bodies and teleported them back into the arena, the dampening field up again. "Everyone died, so I suppose the winner will have to go to the person with the most kills. The winner is therefore Armina, although I must say that was rather... unconventional. Not to encourage everyone to bring nuclear bombs to future events or anything." 

Min looked quite pleased with herself. Sedder just had to laugh at the outcome of the event. 

Finally, the awards ceremony was held a few hours after the last event, the Free-For-All. Everyone already knew the winners of the events already, but it was just a formality and a signal that people would be able to spend their wishes finally. It was confirmation of what they already knew, and recognition for their efforts. 

"I thank you all for participating in the Third Septennial Official Grand Elkandu Magic Competition," Shazmar said. "I hope that you all come again in seven years, when the next one will take place. I will now announce the winners and allow you to start spending your wishes. Keep in mind that you need not use your wishes right away. If you so desire, you may keep them for as long as you want. If you want to use them at some point in the future, just shout my name really loudly and I'll probably pop in." Several people sniggered at that. "I will still allow wishes for power, but only one power at a time. Keep in mind, however, that power does not come without a price." He didn't elaborate, although a number of people wondered just what it was he meant. Others nodded knowingly, instead. 

"Now, on with the awards," Shazmar went on. "First, the winner of the Heat event, Riartan." 

The song elf was teleported into the arena. He took a bow and Shazmar put a medal around his neck. He was extremely pleased with his accomplishment, as he'd gone up against tough competition in this event. It was no small feat, for there were a number of competent Fire and Frost mages around. Then he was teleported back out. 

"Next, the winner of the Mind event, Catalina." 

The tepper woman was brought in. That event had come unexpectedly close, as she had had to beat Ishane in a tiebreaker, but she still managed to preserve and defend her title of the best telepath in the universe. Shazmar hung another medal around her neck as well. I don't think Ishane had seriously expected to actually win to begin with, though. 

"The winner of the Shaping event is Dante Brophy." 

Shazmar summoned in the half-elven angel to receive his medal as well. Dante was wearing a snappy white tuxedo with gold buttons and a multi-colored carnatian pinned to his vest. What did Dante need with another wish, anyway? He had more unspent wishes than most people would ever dream of having. He ought to give them away to charity or something. 

"The winner of the Electricity event is Lexen Chelseer." 

I was quite glad that Shazmar had opted not to use Lexen's ridiculous-sounding full name. Silly boy apparently doesn't realize you aren't supposed to use the last names of everyone you've ever been descended from. Shazmar placed a medal around his neck and sent him off again. 

"The winner of the Omnimancy event is Nalash." 

The beautiful gemfolk appeared before him, the sparkling multi-colored gem between her breasts attracting the eyes of more than one person. She was wearing a low-cut white dress that allowed her gem to be clearly visible, as well. She smiled faintly and bowed down to receive her medal. No surprise at her win, either. 

"The winner of the Solid event is Anara Chelseer." 

Anara was teleported in. She looked rather different than I remember her, however. She had been a beautiful young wood elf with black hair and golden eyes -- unusual for a Chelseer. But now she was more like a song elf, with blonde hair and blue eyes instead. Perhaps she had been reborn since I had last seen her. No matter. She received her medal as well and was sent out. 

"The winner of the Metal event is Anersha Greenstrike." 

A male nali was teleported into the arena, this one a bit shorter than Soli, but with the same white-and-black striped fur that marked most nali. Shazmar put an awards medal around his neck as well and sent him out again. 

"The winner of the Blood event is Shai Zanite." 

The human vampire was teleported in, grinning. There wasn't any particular surprise about that, either. She was the only real blood mage around, and the few who had come up to oppose here were unskilled. Shazmar hung a competition medal around her neck and teleported her back. 

"The winner of the Poison event is Jeena." 

The half-tepper poison mage was brought in, smiling as well. Again, there wasn't any surprise about this, as she had been the first real poison mage to make an appearance at the competition. She wasn't as young as she'd been when I first saw her, but she was still vibrant and fierce as ever. 

"The winner of the Liquid event is Ikkoef." 

A female blue dragon got teleported in. Shazmar had a medal with a very long band prepared for her, which he placed around her neck telekinetically. I don't doubt that her sheer size and power assisted in how she won that event. 

"The winner of the Water event is Helga Chelseer." 

The hlack-haired blue-eyed half-elven descendant of mine came into the arena. She had been pretty much forced out of her league in the last two competitions due to the lack of separation between the Water, Blood, and Poison events, and she just couldn't go up against Shai or Jeena. This time, however, her own power had been allowed to shine. 

"The winner of the Soul event is Kithere Kedaire." 

Keolah's sister appeared in the arena. She looked very much like her sibling, with the same auburn hair and silver eyes, although she was just a few inches taller. Kithere had been the one that had almost beaten Jami in the first competition, and the healer again proved her skill at utilizing the powers of Life and Death. She had earned her medal. 

"The winner of the Light event is Sedder." 

Sedder was grinning broadly when he was teleported in. He was in an unashamed half-demon half-elven form, with bat-like red wings, but blond hair and blue eyes. He bowed with a flourish and happily accepted his medal, glad to have shown his worth and proven his reputation as the best illusionist in the universe. 

"The winner of the Energy event is Sharina Kell." 

Shazmar teleported in the song elf angel. The only true inborn Energy mage around, it wasn't any surprise that she had won this event, either. It would take a supreme effort for somebody to defeat her at the next competetion. That it had come down to a tiebreaker between her and Sannari was a surprise, however, as nobody except Dante seemed to have expected such drastic improvement from the Catalyst. Shazmar hung her medal around her neck and returned her to the audience. 

"The winner of the Creation event is Dante Brophy." 

Dante was summoned in a second time, and another medal put around his neck. This time he had changed his clothing, and was wearing a sleek black tuxedo instead, with silver buttons and a bunch of lace at his throat. Again, no surprise that the winners of the free-for-all and one-on-one events of Conjuration were held by the same person. 

"The winner of the Destruction event is Morring Chelseer." 

Another of my descendants was summoned in. She was a beautiful elven woman with black hair and green eyes, though she had changed her appearance since her last standing here. She'd been turned into a drow with the rest of her group by Sardill ages ago, but it seems she had gotten Amanda or somebody to restore her wood elven form. 

"The winner of the Alteration event is Harmony Kimchild." 

A large creature with far too many horns and several tails was brought in this time. Shazmar gave a small smirk and tossed the medal up onto one of her horns. Nobody had seriously expected anyone but Harmony to win this event. 

"The winner of the Flesh event is Amanda Kimdaughter." 

Harmony's cousin, in the rather more normal form of a song elf, entered the arena. This result hadn't been entirely expected. Both Kirlin and Amanda had managed to defeat Harmony somehow, while Amanda was undefeated. Shazmar smiled and placed the medal on her neck. 

"The winner of the Plant event is Chedel." 

The geomantic angel appeared in the arena, and also appeared to be just slightly tipsy. She ruffled her wings and bowed, and Shazmar put the medal over her head as well. Lena was disappointed at her loss here, but Kalixia was quite happy since she had won her last two fights. 

"The winner of the Rock event is Theryn Valeranger Shadowhand." 

Theryn's face was aglow with joy as Shazmar slipped the winner's medal down over her silver hair. I applauded for her as well. I was happy for her success, even if it had come a bit late. 

"The winner of the Matter event is Rukaba Kalap. Let's all Kalap for her." 

The chimera was teleported before him, and she promptly threw a punch at him. Shazmar just laughed and blinked out of the way, dropping the medal over her head and sending her back. Wait, she's a hermaphrodite, so she's a sie... damnit. 

"The winner of the Magnetics event is Anersha Greenstrike." 

The nali was summoned in again and received a second medal around his neck. Funny, I'd have really thought of the name Anersha to be more feminine, but I suppose those cats are a strange folk anyway. No matter. 

"The winner of the Lava event is Anara Chelseer." 

Anara came in to get her second medal as well. That event had been pretty much a given, there not being overly many lavamancers competing against her. 

"The winner of the Gas event is Amgu Diamondblade." 

This one was a surprise, however. People had expected the winner of this event to be Kyriel, the ruler of Hasaris, or else it might have been Hilda, Helga's twin sister. Amgu was a complete mystery to most of them, and a rather stupid name at that. He was a red elf, not a race typically associated with mages, but times were changing I suppose. 

"The winner of the Force event is Aldria Nightbringer Darkstone." 

Valarian's young drow daughter was teleported in. She was in her teens as well, having been born around the same time as Heller and Rinnalie, although several months sooner. I knew she was the rebirth of Keliole Chelseer, however, who had been the greatest Traveller in history, and had proponed many breakthroughs in Motion magic. Thus, she had been really expected to win this event. 

"The winner of the Translocation event is Omiel Beamflower." 

There was another person who had been previously nearly unknown, and had come into his own through the competitions. If I remember right, he had won something last time as well, but I forget. I'd always thought of Force and Translocation of having been the same thing, but it seems there's a rather difference between the telekinetics that makes up Force, and the tleeportation that is known as Translocation. Omiel was a leprechaun male prostitute, and I didn't dare venture to ask just what it was he'd gotten with the wish he'd earned last competition. Nor did I care to speculate what he would get this time. 

"The winner of the Elemental event is Manifel Ebonstaff." 

The drow man looked quite pleased with himself that he'd actually won something for a change, even if it was just the Matter Free-For-All event, which anyone could have won. The Free-For-Alls were so random it was difficult to predict how they might turn out.. Maybe now he'll forgive Shazmar for the mess involving Sardill. Shazmar put the competition medal around his neck and winked at him inexplicably before sending him off. 

"The winner of the Catalysm event is Veros Starsword." 

Another example of how the Free-For-Alls could turn out with bizarre, random results. Veros was a complete nobody who had somehow managed to win the Energy Free-For-All through hiding in a corner until the event was over, since nobody had seriously considered him a threat until he'd popped out to defeat the much-weakened Suzcecoz. Even then it had been close. 

"The winner of the Time event is Lexen Chelseer." 

Lexen was brought in a second time for another award, as if he really needed another anyway. He had, after all, been silly enough to wish for Beer Magic the first time around. Silly Lexen. I also wondered just what it was that he would find to wish for this time. There were just people with too many wishes that didn't even know what to do with them. 

"The winner of the Dream event is Cawon." 

The male unicorn was summoned in, and Shazmar hung a medal on an equine-sized band around his neck. Soli was disappointed at his lost, but he hadn't even made it into the tiebreaker match. It had come down to Cawon and Reykerra in the end, and the unicorn had won. What a unicorn would want or need with a wish was, however, quite beyond my comprehension. 

"The winner of the Divination event is Azale Riftgazer Shadowhand." 

Azale was teleported in to receive his medal, and I just had to smile and clap for him. He was still using that drow name even if he wasn't even a drow anymore, and no longer a Dragonblood either. But I had always thought it a better name than his current birth name, Trevan. It was a name that reflected his honor and pride, yet it also connected him to a time when he had naively served Jami's interests. Was it better to forget the past, then, or to cling to it stubbornly like many Elkandu did? Perhaps Soli had indeed found a happy medium in that. 

"The winner of the Protection event is Billie Mountainfighter." 

An anthropomorphic goat was summoned into the arena to receive a medal. Ah, Sidan lost this time, finally. She wasn't at all happy about that. How embarassing it must be to have lost to a goat! Shazmar put a medal around Billie's neck and sent the goat off again. 

"The winner of the Enchantment event is Ladir." 

Another goat-like creature was summoned in, only goatish from the waist down, however. The faun was glad to receive his medal, and gave a sort of bow to the audience on the way. I wondered just what it was he would wish for. Some power to go along with all that skill could only benefit him, I thought. 

"The winner of the Evocation event is Edminster Bartholemew Bun." 

Poor Hawthorne. That was the second time in a row she had lost Evocation to the brown rabbit. It was almost as bad as losing to a goat, I thought. I sighed softly, and started working my way over to her to console her. It was the least I could do, after all. She'd respected me as a person even when I'd been a sword. But she was a married woman. Sigh. 

"The winner of the Teleportation event is Alfame Tratch." 

The four-armed pink-haired pianist was teleported in and received his medal. What would he wish for? Wait, chimera, sie... oh fuck it. 

"The winner of the Mental event is Azale Riftgazer Shadowhand." 

The elf came back in to receive his second medal, looking quite pleased with himself. Shai applauded for him wildly and cheered. 

"The winner of the Free-For-All event is Armina." 

Min was, like Sedder, in a half-demon half-human form. Shazmar grinned to her and put the medal around her neck, muttering something to her about nuclear explosions before sending her back over to where Sedder was. They went off for some celebratory sex. 

"The winners of the Pairs event are Nalash and Dante Brophy." 

The two of them were teleported in, Nalash for her second medal and Dante for his third. Dante was wearing blue jeans and a Pyroluminescence T-shirt instead of the fancy tuxedos he had had on before. Nalash was wearing a brightly colored top with the center cut out for her gem. Shazmar giggled softly as he put the Pairs medals around their necks. 

"The winners of the Team event are Kirlin Starfire, Mika, Sidan Donttouchthatyoumoronargh, and Edminster Bartholemew Bun." 

Quite a powerful team. They certainly needed the power to win that event. There hadn't been many teams entered, but those that were were quite strong. Shazmar brought all four of them in and handed out medals to them all. 

With the awards all having been handed out, I caught Hawthorne before she had started to head for the exit. I was a bit nervous about talking to her in this form, particularly with Riartan around, but it had to be said. 

"Hey," I said to her. 

"Hello," she said quietly. "Zarnith?" 

I nodded. "I just wanted to say... oh hell, I don't even know what I wanted to say. But I wanted to say something anyway." 

Hawthorne just grinned weakly. "Still a sarcastic pervert, aren't you, Zarnith?" 

I snickered softly. "Would I deny it? Well, I just wanted to give my condolences to you over losing Evocation again." 

"It's alright. Really," she said softly. "I'm used to it." 

I glanced nervously at Riartan, who was licking an ice cream cone. Ice mages don't need to worry about their ice cream melting. I said to Hawthorne, "No, really, you ought to do something and practice so you can beat that rabbit next time. I know you can do it. You always were stubborn and reckless, but they weren't faults of yours. If anything, they were your greatest strengths. Your power and spirit goes beyond merely magic, and emanates from the core of your being with encouragement and strength. You were never one to be oppressed or let anyone get you down. Don't let it bring you down now." 

Where had that come from? Hawthorne just stared at me, blinking for a moment. She was speechless for several minutes, and I was afraid I'd said something wrong, until she said, "You're right, Zarnith. I've been letting it get to me too much. I can do better than this." 

"Great," I said, smiling. "Hey, you wanna cookie?" I held up a chocolate chip cookie for her. 

Hawthorne laughed and took the cookie, and we left the Stadium.


End file.
